sarcastic? moi?

thanks to liz for getting me to randomly click...

You're Totally Sarcastic

You sarcastic? Never! You're as sweet as a baby bunny. Seriously, though, you have a sharp tongue - and you aren't afraid to use it. And if people are too wimpy to deal with your attitutde, then too bad. So sad.

How Sarcastic Are You?

with many thanks to cab calloway

oh joy! we went to another fluevog vip party thing and this time it was soooo much fun!!! personally, i think that when the focus shifts from dark rooms and vodka cocktails to a room filled with happy shoes, wine, and snacks it's much easier to be sociable. this time we talked to half of the people there and stayed for quite some time having fun. not only that, but i finally finally finally got those uber-expensive shoes i've been eyeing for the past two months. i was prancing - yes, literally prancing - around drinking shiraz and eating veggies while we browsed the entire collection. we convinced derek to try on a few pairs (hey there was a ton of stuff on sale!) and i bought him a new pair of shoes, too. one cannot be absolutely sure, but it looked as if he was even smiling when he tried them on.

pssst, we got a steal on shoes that were supposed to be full price. it was fate, i tell you. cheese! shoes! laughter! quelle enjoyment. derek has future angel in a chestnut and olive andrew, while i got operetta in a black/grey malibran. ain't we the hoity-toity types? gotta love those vogs.

for the weekend my wish is to ride a ferry boat and eat hostess spice cupcakes. as some of you might know, spice cake is the official cake of elopement, and you have to get a package of hostess. why? because they come in twos so you can share them with someone you love. hey, i can hear you making that gagging noise! stop it! you're just as sentimental as anyone else. it's okay to admit it. eat the spice cake and cuddle up; you'll thank me for it in the end.

mmmmm... cheeeeese... i love a place that'll give you snacks while you shop. can someone put me on the vip list for the next store we visit? this must be what it means to have a piece of the good life. that reminds me of something else. we do still need a couch. in theory, there comes a point when it's just time to pick one and go with it for a while, to stop visiting your top three choices at the furniture pound and just take one back to a loving home. now that we've been decisive on fancy footwear it is probably time to take on the issue of the couch. it'll give me a good excuse to wear my shoes out on the town.


the song i can't get outta my head:
happy feet! i've got those hap-hap-happy feet!
give them a low-down beat
and they begin dancing!
i've got those ten little tip-tap-tapping toes,
when they hear a tune
i can't control the dancing, dear,
to save my soul!

those weary blues can't get into my shoes,
because my shoes refuse
to ever grow weary.
i keep cheerful on an earful
of music sweet;
just got those hap-hap-happy feet!

just wondering...

it's almost the new year. got any resolutions? i do. maybe i'll keep a few of them this year. it's probably better to make more than one resolution so that you can keep at least one. i'm going to hedge my bets that way, at least. what the hell does that mean anyway - hedge a bet? i was never quite sure how to interpret certain colloquialisms and phrases. it sounds like something really stupid. it might be something really stupid.

maybe i should just stick to using language that i understand. that could be another resolution for me. but i'm still not going to pronounce foilage correctly, and i'm still going to use the word "broughten" in everyday conversation. as for the rest, wish me luck for the new year. good luck to you, too.


last movie i saw:
land of the dead

the complaint department of the day - or, as mary called it: merry bitchmas... with an addendum of angry jazz hands

today has a despondent edge to it, a feeling of *le sigh* hanging over. ho hum. it's not anything specific or even depressing, just some indescribable angst and lethargy. what a pair. it's as if i should be out doing stuff and being fabulous but i don't have the energy. i could stay home and do projects, but i don't have the energy. all i have the energy to do is sit around and snarl.

after walking back to the apartment from our somewhat disappointing fudmas (with an umlaut), i just sat here staring. sigh. ho hum. we have yet to find a place here that can compare to our beloved india palace in the overall experience. there have been places that have good service but so-so food and the other way around, but nothing is the total package. how i miss the comfort of that crazy pink interior. anyway, this evening's outing was just kinda blah. the group we met up with wanted to go out for drinks afterwards, so i abandoned them (and derek) to come home and stare. he also got bored with their brand of gallavanting and came home soon after to discover me chatting on the phone with mary.

ah yes, when i need a long session of mutual rambling she is always good for it. sometimes we can raise babble up to an art form. you're jealous, aren't you? tonight was no exception. i figured she might be "xmased out" after a whole weekend with the family, and i needed someone who could understand my sense of humor without me having to be polite or turn on my social filters or explain myself. i'd had a whole evening of social awkwardness with new people and needed the ability to be myself without apology. whew. now that's what i call comfort. turns out she needed the opportunity to slip into the laundry room and blow off some steam.

you know how when a person starts to rant it seems a little disjointed? then once they pick up some steam it turns into a flowing river of bitching. by the time they've reached the point where they forget to take a breath in between entire paragraphs of complaint, things are coming out so smoothly that it's almost as if the ranting is some piece of subconsciously memorized dialogue.

"oh, let me tell you all about it..."
"and thennnnnnn, by the way you won't believe this part but i have to tell you because it's driving me crazzzeeeeeee..."
"it's just so freaking stooopid. that's right! the next thing he did was even dumber and you know what it reminds me of that's even dumber than that? because i'm really getting sick of when i go out and have to deal with this brand of bullshit in the world because i am a good person damnit. oh why meeeee, oh whhhhhyyyyyyyy?!?!?!"

none of this is a direct quote of her ranting this evening (and yes i would tell if it was - you know me better than that) but more of a feeling of how the speed picks up as the ideas get formed. it usually ends with a primal grunt or grrrrr and some form of flailing appendages. there is also a snack involved somewhere in the coming down process. my personal version, which some of you may have heard in person, is akin to the scheme of:
A. so here's what
B. and furthermore
C. and that's how it is/i'm sick of it

of course i am never quite so succinct as my initial outline. i build up a lot of speed and can ramble off entire discourses with only a tiny supply of oxygen. it's probably better that i breathe less during those moments; otherwise i would have even more complaining to do. or getting done. whatever.

when i really get going i even throw in what tara once dubbed as my "angry jazz hands." wanna see it? make some jazz hands. now tense up your fingers and shake your forearms around while keeping your elbows tucked in close to your body, like you're shampooing someone else's head. it also helps to tilt your chin down just a bit and snarl. doing that? yeah i see you. you are now a qualified master of the angry jazz hands maneuver. perhaps i should have it named after me. i could be just like dr. heimlich. nahhhh... angry jazz hands sounds so much more festive.

am i picking up speed yet? i've stopped breathing and my toes have definitely started to flail. i can SO have flailing toes!!! you're just jealous again. i'll give you my spirit finger for that.

i think it's time for that snack now.


what i'm snacking on tonight:
clementine oranges
baby cinnamon roll thingies from ikea
cheese (duh)

the carnage of it all

we have had two losses this week.

galena, our firefish, has sadly passed away in the tank. she was persnickety all week long and i had noticed her going through a phase of noneating. since she's done this before we just kept an eye on her to see if she would get hungry. unfortunately, this was not to be and she is gone. sniff. but the bristle worms made short work of her as a meal afterwards, so galena did feed the tank and the ecosystem lives on. sniff sniff. i'll miss that snobby pink fish.

my ibook started going on strike a couple of days ago. the screen would shut itself off and the video card committed harey carey earlier today. most of the weekend has been spent in shutdown/reboot mode until the final blow of "i've fallen and i can't get up" went into overdrive today. sniff. the good news? my hard drive fits in the powerbook that derek was using before he bought his new laptop a few months ago. i officially apologize for nagging his ass about not selling it, as the powerbook is now my new computer. we're bonding right now.

au revoir to my two little special friends, and all the holey socks and underpants that have gone on to the next world in the past week. sniff sniff sniff.


new tools i bought this week:
embossing powder and ink!

random side notes - chapter eight

subtitle: discombobulated and quizzical excitement abound!

today we had to call 911 at work because an elderly lady passed out cold in the front of the store. no shit. this lady was something in the area of, i'm guessing, eighty-ish and she just suddenly dropped like a stone. after she was done fainting and scaring the crap out of us, she sat in a chair insisting that she was fine. sure, toots... we'll just take your word for it and send you toddling along. right. an hour later, the paramedics finally decided she would be okay to take a taxi home. before she left, she insisted on getting her gifts wrapped.

let us segue to taxis now. derek had to take a taxi to the airport on his last trip. if he'd caught it within the "downtown hotel district" it would have cost a flat 28 bucks. since he caught it near the house, which is two mini-sized blocks outside of that, it was 33 dollars. 5 dollars for two blocks? whaaaaaa..?!?!?!

he caught a limo home from the airport on the return trip for a flat rate of 35 dollars.

i lost my wallet for three days and didn't even realize it until this afternoon. luckily, it was in the house and i found it a few hours ago. i can't even imagine the drama that would've ensued had it not been there, but it made me feel good that i can get by without spending much money when i'm out. amazing how long a fiver can last you when you bring your lunch to work.

only one more day of hell until i get a three day weekend. when was the last time i had three days off in a row during december? when was the last time i even had two days off in a row during december? or more than two days off during that entire month? there are days when i still miss having my store, there are some days when i don't miss being my own boss.

wandering around the house made me realize something. we are twitchy about umpacking. it still looks about the same as it did a few weeks ago. is it possible that we just don't want to get settled in for fear of having to move again in a few months? we can't pick a couch, we've stopped hanging any more pictures, and the feng shui element is in a state of mental block. i just can't seem to think of my house as my home lately and thus try not to get too comfortable here. we even look at furniture in terms of how easy it is to get up and down stairs. it could just be multiple move aftershock. i'm still not going to plan too far ahead yet.

bubba is the most codependent cat that has ever lived with me. he's in the corner sulikng right now because i wanted my lap to myself for a while. dizzy is prowling around my chair demanding that i stare at her adoringly. stuart is presumably licking the side of the cat tent and wrestling with a blanket.

like the jews on xmas eve at the chinese restaurants, we've come up with our own holiday tradition. we'll be having indian food on xmas again this year. it's no india palace where we can run into lots of people we know, but we've invited a small group of people to join us. even better, it's a good place to hide from a holiday that i don't celebrate. mmm, samosas and chai.

i heart crappe. (two syllables of crap!) tiny cute things and neat little stationery seem to be my calling in life. it's probably because crazy tchotchke gotsa lotsa personality. funny what you can tell about a person by the magnets that make them giggle or the pens they like to use.


politically incorrect phrases i like:
playing cards with the tards
don't be such a girl
that's so gay

this meets that over there

the leg bone is definitely connected to the hip bone.

behold, i am the mighty agitator, and i specialize in coo-winky-dink. (no spark plugs required) here is a short list of topics and items in my life that have come up in completely unrelated ways this week:
psychophysics
ding fries are done!
indian food
left handed books
emotions about bread
oklahoma! the musical
audacity

how bizarre to really discover that convergence is all around us, if only you stop at the right meeting points. they say - they being the mysterious "them" - that timing is everything. occasionally they have the unlikely fortune of being correct. all of the things on my list even fit within scott's new rule that you're not allowed to be the one to bring the topic up for it to count. see now, that would be cheating, and i prefer my coo-winky-dink to be pure.

serendipity is my new middle name. or is it synchronicity? could be a bit of both, thus being named synchrodipity. this will be added to the list of words i've allegedly coined, such as the infamous epiphanetic or fauxchronistic of yesterweek. and who could forget the ever-popular yuhanukwanzochrismadan? but i digress once again, as usual.

what was i talking about?


what i'm reading lately:
mindless eating
mavericks at work
mortified

weird al says: eat it!

in celebration of trying new things, i ate some corn chowder with crab meat in it. see, i'm not on any special diets. about as special as i get in the realm of food is not liking chocolate or olives. or seafood for the most part, but i'm willing to stretch my palate on occasion. the chowder wasn't bad.

this place is full of special diets. it makes me want to laugh how many things people won't eat around here. after many years of picking on my "pansy food" friends i still love them and respect their choice not to eat this or that kind of meat, or even the ones who don't eat any meat at all. i jest because i love, but hey there, let's not let this thing devolve into the land of fruitarian bullshit.

by the way, do fruitarians really exist or is that just some urban myth? poor little murdered carrots. wait - i did have a point somewhere in there, didn't i?

my only dietary need from now on is going to be that i don't eat health food. i love to eat healthy food, as in food that is good for me, but this foofy health food crap makes me want to vomit in my own mouth. these people were obviously never subjected to the test kitchen of "first house on the block with a juicer" or the world of chalky protein shakes. if they had been then they would just back off and get some variety.

p.s. vegan bread is shitty and feels like cheap sloppy play-doh. you just can't have a lump of random stuff and decide to call it bread. it isn't bread. it's something resembling food byproduct poop. sorry to all of you out there crying a river for your special little diet but i have to defend the honor of bread. don't forsake the goodness of the goods. if i gave up smoking you wouldn't catch me running around with candy cigarettes in my mouth pretending to be a smoker just to fit in. stop pretending to be a lover of the goods. save the sanctity of the baked goods!!!

if you don't like a food, don't eat it. if you try it once in a while just to see if you do like it i'm not going to chastise you for straying from your sworn oath of fruitarianism. if you can adapt into a lifestyle that will allow you to still venture out into the world without avoiding everything that out there for fear of encountering something offensive on a plate that isn't even yours, that's fabulous. in return i promise not to offer you a cheeseburger from the grill. i might even let you pick the restaurant. otherwise, just stay home and eat your astronaut food in your john travolta bubble.


clothing on a dent and damage farewell tour:
a worn out pair of black jeans
several socks - r.i.p.
pantsies with holes

tell me who you really are

here's a great way to show off the many facets of your complex personality: a tiny meme inspired by my recent fascination with bygone television. if you're reading this then consider yourself tagged. feel free to share this cockamamie batch of whatnot with others. (p.s. - this one goes to eleven. hehehe)

which character are you from...

family guy? brian
the facts of life? natalie
star trek? sulu
king of the hill? bobby hill
the simpsons? maggie
sex and the city? mr. big
lord of the rings? gandalf
peanuts? linus van pelt
star wars? chewbacca
john hughes movies? the donger
the muppets? miss piggy

stick it!!!

this week brings a happy mailbox. assorted holiday greetings fill the box (i know i don't actually celebrate any of these holidays, except new year's, but it truly is the thought that counts in these situations) and make me squeal with joy that it's something besides junk mail and bills.

but the prize for the week goes to my eeegirl mary. not only did i get a letter - yes, an ACTUAL letter! - from her on tuesday, but i got the cutie cutie cutest package this weekend. it was so sweetly wrapped up with character-printed tape that i just held it in my lap for a bit before getting our a knife to do package surgery. once i sliced off an end, guess what fell out? stickers and tape! stickers and tape!!! it's more printed tape with a five EEEEE! factor to the cuteness.

i sure am glad now that i didn't buy the jesus tape last weekend while i was at archie mcphee's. i had reasoned that my adhesive habit had gotten out of control and i didn't need to be buying myself any more tape, glue, sticky things, etc. at the moment because i already had plenty. voila! mary delivers buckets after i gave in to my pre-buying buyers' remorse. it's a sign, i tell you, A SIGN! i've been saying how i need to get back into my habit of mailing stuff to people, and now i know it's true. between all the mailing related birthday gifts i got from people and this new package, it is definitely time to get back in the game. tankoo berry mucho, mary. xoxoxo


as predicted by the agitator:
the weather outside is sunny and bee-yooo-tee-full
(creepy, ain't it?)

my hard candy shell

after surviving the post-blackout traffic jam from hell last night, i forced derek to take me out for sushi. we went out with milana and dustin and a couple of their friends to a place in queene anne and had a good time chatting and eating. milana and i realized that, although we've known each other for some time now, we barely know one another at all.

funny to think how you can be acquainted with a person for months - even years - and hardly know a thing about them. although it might sound odd, this is how i feel about many of the people i know... and this is also how they feel about me. how often i've heard the refrain that i'm a "hard person to know" or that it takes a while to learn much of anything about me. it's a true observation, of course, as i tend to play the reality of me a bit close to the vest, even when my more shallow and gregarious side would make things seem otherwise. it's not that i'm trying to play it cool. i just take a while to sincerely warm to others. besides, no one has time to become bestest buddies with everyone they encounter. we all tend to gravitate one way or another and end up focusing on a more intimate group of comrades.

so far my group in seattle is somewhat nonexistent. i have a few people that i like to spend time with, and even one that i feel as if i've known for years. then again, i have known her for years, just not in person until recently. but i digress... the effort required in making new friends is difficult. i've heard it compared to "dating without kissing" by genevieve, and she's damn right. people who think i don't recall what it's like to be single can now rejoice in the fact that i most definitely and immediately can identify with your plight.

but then i do have my real friends to keep me company when i'm down. to you peeps that are my peeps: i like you. i really hope i know at least a little bit about you and you about me. if you do, you're probably laughing at me for that. i know i am.


"bad" movie stars i adore:
keanu reeves
greg kinnear
mark wahlberg

shoes and double dipping

tonight we went to a fancy party downtown. hooray for us, trying to get out of the house and be fabulous. the party was sponsored by fluevog. yes yes yes, these are the way too expensive shoes that i like to drool over for months on end until i break down and buy another pair. i'm up to three pairs so far, although one of them is in need of serious cpr or an early grave. maybe i should just donate that pair so that i can justify getting some new shoes.

anyhoo, the man himself was there. john fluevog was galavanting about, looking great in spite of being a bit under the weather with exhaustion. he strolled into the hoo-ha shortly after we sat down with our drinks and made a lovely entrance. then he proceeded to the table of snacks and promptly started to chow down like a fat girl. turns out the f-man had missed dinnertime after he'd been at the vog store downtown doing promo shit all afternoon and evening. (don't you just love how i get the scoop and manage to sound like i know what the hell is going on?) people shuffled in and the lounge filled up with conversation and lots of people who were vaguely staring at one another's shoes. ooh, ahh, fancy footwear.

derek and i had a prime vantage point watching the party from a corner table near the archway to the other room. i also managed a good score at the snack table. make your move when you can on good snacks, because artichoke dip with pita bread rocks. this must be what the guest of honor thought too, because i totally caught him double dipping with his very first piece of bread! it's true... john fluevog is a double dipper. i probably even have fluevog germs on me right now from the party. see how we're all connected in this world? it's nice to be reminded that even the successful people in this world are excruciatingly human. if i needed more to convince me, he clumsily said hello to me later on while biting into a huge chicken sammich and trying to chew his food. is that impeccable timing or what?

made for an enjoyable evening after all. now cross your fingers that one of us will win the vog raffle and score some spiffy new shoes. maybe a gift certificate. at least an extra shoe horn.


last thing i looked up on wikipedia:
small world phenomenon

some this v. that

so far we are enjoying our time in seattle. it's proving to be a nice departure from that last city we were "living" in this year. people i've talked to on the phone keep telling me how much better i sound now that we've left los crapeles. derek is sleeping more soundly and i'm feeling better about getting off my ass and getting a life. the other thing i'm starting to notice is some of the differences in behavior and lifestyle i'm seeing between the two. need a few examples?

on weather-
there: it's hot, gross, and smoggy
here: cloudy with some rain today

at work-
there: you're throwing off my entire day!
here: excuse me, but i'm kind of in a hurry.

on traffic-
there: a shooting and several wrecks
here: moving slowly today

out to eat-
there: pay me when you're done.
here: do you need some more coffee?

socializing-
there: are you in the industry?
here: hi, it's nice to meet you.

a few years ago, i wrote an english-to-english translation piece. maybe i'll have to revamp it to include transitional translations. while this place isn't really as "how-dee-doo, y'all" friendly as home, it's at least polite enough to give me some breathing room to be more myself and not want to snap every day. i can live with that in a city. and i am trying to get/getting a life here.


the nastiest food item that i adore:
squirty cheese in a can!

on having manners

at some point, you simply must watch the fairly remedial movie "blast from the past" with alicia silverstone and brendan fraser. why would someone make you watch this drivel? because it holds the true secrets of etiquette. it can tell you what it means to be a lady or a gentleman. it will remind you all about good manners.

darlings, do yourself a favor one day when you're snowed in, playing hookey, or just puttering around the house updating your netflix. get it and indulge. hey, if nothing else, it's got christopher walken and dave foley. does that help?


a few people i lurrrved as a kid:
joan jett
kurt vonnegut
sting
eleanor roosevelt
e.e. cummings

random side notes - chapter seven

veronica and i were talking about meg ryan tonight while babbling endlessly on the phone. snippets that brings to mind?
horses, horses, horses, horses
beautiful! scenic! wish you were here!
you people make my ass twitch.

my hair is at just the right length to go with this awesome photo of me. i could use it for a head shot. nonetheless, i'm thinking of cutting my hair off and, on top of negating all the work it took to grow out this mop, never doing theatre again. but i miss doing theatre. it's an indecisive situation. maybe i should just go have someone else wash my hair and rub my head.

now that the cooking thing is under control, i'm in search of a new tactile hobby to keep me busy. i like to fidget.

healthy food is good, but i don't like to eat actual health food. there is a difference. fruit + veggies = healthy. fiber + vegan = barforama. peanut butter + celery = nummy.

the cats are all barfy today. each one of them has managed to throw up in different parts of the house. bubba was polite enough to throw up inthe middle of a non-carpeted floor. dizzy threw up on my foot but had the good manners to look embarrassed afterwards. stuart did a projectile vomit off the side of the television stand. yuck. cat puke smells icky.

we're up to two full boxes of paper to be shredded. we also have a few other random boxes of "go away" stuff. slowly but surely we are gaining more square footage in our new home. i'm feeling a total feng shui attack coming on. is that my new tactile hobby? who wants to be a compulsive house cleaning type?!?! not me.

i feel terribly boring this week, but have a strange suspicion that something new is about to happen. i wonder what it is.

you take the good, you take the bad

you take 'em both and there you have the facts of life... on dvd! in a box set! the first two seasons! which is particularly cool, because it even has two featurettes about the show. i got it on sale (shut up, i can hear you snickering) and have been having a factsathon. snackathon, factsathon - what's next? derek should probably get back to seattle before i have a thon of a different color. it's just my obsessive side taking over. the facts of life rocks!

and yes, we can all hear you singing the song. which version are you singing? i'm guessing it's probably the latter version that's got more production value. charlotte rae is cute and all, but we all know the second version better than the first. there's a time you gotta go and show, you're growin' now, ya know about the facts of life. you're feeling it with me here, aren't you?

i refuse to be shamed by my guilty pleasure purchase. i might even cry at an episode ortwo. oh, how grand that these girls can come to their senses in the span of only twenty two minutes! oh, how nice to have a show that talks about feminism and young girls! oh boy, did you ever notice that really short shorts with gold piping were like, no big deal back then, even thought they are so totally bordering on pornographic? the facts of life has it all - sex, drugs, issues, controversy. woofrikkinhoooo!!! this dribbly crap is still cool after twenty-odd years. the people that would disagree with me are probably the same ones sitting home watching reruns of st. elsewhere or benson. not that i should make fun; derek really had a thing for missy gold.

never being a missy gold in all her eighties glory kind of girl, i had to watch the facts of life to figure out my corresponding tv personality type. now i know that i might appear to be a jo upon first meeting, but i'm really more of a natalie. there was a time when i was maybe a molly as well. (remember cindy, nancy, sue ann and molly?) mary is maybe a sue ann, but probably a mrs. garrett. but only the kind of mrs. garrett up until edna's edible burned down. after that it was all kind of crap, and clooney did nothing for me with his cheesey mullet. woo buddy, i'm cracking myself up here just thinking about this show. i heart eighties television!

i'm definitely a natalie. which one are you?


girly things i overspent on this week:
pore scrub
smelly candles
more underpants
foofoo tea

tiny dragons on my bed

the cats are officially hogging the bed. already. after only one night in it without derek. they expand in the dark until they're the size of tiny dragons. or smallish dragons. dragons that are big enough to be called bed hogs. i want my pillows back.

i'm supposed to be the only bed hog in this house. they should learn to give some 'spect to an alpha cat when they see one. yes, i am SO the alpha cat around here!

the day i ate seattle

so it's not depressing that derek left today. maybe i can just slob out while having the house to myself and then whip things into shape the day before he gets back. he'll never know that i didn't even rinse off my plate tonight. wait a second... i suppose he'll know if he reads this, won't he? in that case, i'm being a good little housey-frau and playing nice with all the cleaning supplies. yeah that's right! i'm having an affair with mr. clean in derek's absence! OOH LA LA.

did that sound convincing enough?

what i did do with my evening was have a snackathon. there was no diet soda involved - which would be my usual "pigging out" m.o. - and i had at least seven colors of food before realizing my living room looks like it was attacked by a homeless bulimic drug lord. did i really need a new spoon for each thing? how fancy of me. most people just stand in front of an open fridge with a single utensil but i went whole hog (pardon the pun) and dragged food out all over the house.

what i nibbled on tonight:
honey cashews
a cherry pop tart
spinach salad
an avocado
vanilla tea biscuits
fresh mozzerella
green onions
turkey slices
raisins
reese's pieces
woolly purple dinosaurs
a victorian sofa
the seattle phone book
my own leg
mothra


okay, so maybe i never ate my own leg. how would i walk to work tomorrow with only one leg? it's not like we have a collection of fake limbs in our closet, no matter how much i enjoy my copy of "i like you" that's under the dishes right now. uhhh, i mean, uhhhh, the book that's on the perfectly straightened coffee table in my very sanitized home. it's like we've got fairies and stepfords cleaning up around here, i tell you! our house is a very very very fine house. spotless, beautiful, immaculate at all times.

just wondering if derek was still reading.

food i used to hate that i quite strangely crave this week:
RAMEN NOODLES!!!

better working conditions

tomorrow is my last day to go to work super early. not the last day ever, but after several days in a row i will get some reprieve. i can stay up later without dragging regret and stop randomly passing out in the evenings for unintended naps. this is good because i didn't really want to look for a new job. so far i'm enjoying my job, even if it is peasant's work. it would be a shame to be run off by my alarm clock.

this leads me to wonder where my career path is going. you know what i've figured out so far? I HAVE NO IDEA. bet you feel better now. you don't know what you're going to be when you grow up either. if you do, then you su-hu-hu-hucccckkk. if you have some vague ideas about possibilities for what you might like to try along the way, then my oh my you are feeling my vibe bigtime, baby. so let's all shout it out loud together:

WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON WITH ME? WHAT IN THE FRICKETY FRACK AM I SUPPOSED TO DOOOOOOOOO WITH MY LIFE?!?!? sheesh, damn, dagnabbit. garble garble garble...

pffft - something will come along, right? until then i'll just hang out and be a goofball. i'll seek inspiration from whatever. my new "unruly" shirt (see, it says unruly on the front in english and shorthand, so it's an unruly shirt) is a prime example. we went to the crafty dorkorama festival of thingies and stuff this weekend with bonnie and kelly. among the various things that i could probably make with a little effort but don't really feel like at this very moment, i also got some ideas on what it is that i really like. or what i might like at some point. or maybe just neat-o stuff that made me smile. in any case, it was a breath of fresh air and oodles of fun. i'll have to keep my eyes peeled for more neat-o-ness.

you never know what's looking for you.

it's my burfday

yay for me. blue bell ice cream, red meat, coffee, postal happies, french movie, cute kitties, and some lovely birthday wishes. pretty relaxing with no drama. being boring can be a lot of fun sometimes.

for my big day, mary got you all some presents. click on the link for her blog to find out what fabooness awaits you...

on the telephone

most people have one or two best friends. most people also have really asinine conversations with their best friends late at night when topics wander. you'll be happy to know that i am no different, and neither is mary.


when it goes downhill...
mary: haven't you been reading in touch? britney spears is hanging around paris hilton and not wearing any panties. i don't know what she's thinking.
me: hanging around who? that's a good way to lose her kids.
mary: it's gross. she's making k-fed look good at this point.
me: let's all bless k-fed for a second. we're used to seeing things the other way around. we usually see the sienna millers of the world. he's changed all that.
mary: yes, he's pretty savvy. maybe he's paying paris to hang out with britney. that way she'll look bad and he'll get the kids. which is worse - paris or k-fed? it's sad when that's a hard choice.
me: both of them drive drunk. i bet he's giving her all he has left now. his weenie. his weenie in exchange for her and britney. then he can trade over to paris when it's all done.
mary: maybe he's smarter than we think.
me: oh yeah, he's just waiting it out now. then he can take her money, too. and paris has even more than britney.
mary: the last thing i need to see in life is another shot of britney's stubble-crotch. put on some panties!
me: i can't believe i'm so behind in my gossip. wait! i hope that's not the link you're posting in your blog for my birthday.


later on...
mary: tim and i are playing video games together lately to spend more time hanging out. i'm actually starting to like it.
me: is he the dungeon master?
mary: no, it's not dungeons and dragons. nobody is the dungeon master.
me: i mean that in a general sense. like being the banker.
mary: oh i see, of course. no i don't think so. i roll the dice on the computer and then cast spells. it landed on something and i told it to do magic. "now i'm casting a magic missile." then i thought, oh my gosh did i really just say that?
me: you know what? it's arbor day in the dork forest for you - and you've just planted a baby tree of your very own. you know that, don't you?
mary: we're just trying to spend time together!
me: hey, i'm just saying. happy arbor day.

and then...
mary: you know that movie where there's something about "have you seen my dad?"
me: prelude to a kiss?
mary: no! i'm talking about finding nemo. what the hell are you talking about?
me: well, they lost that old guy and then he took her body. i've never even seen finding nemo, so how would i know what's in it?
mary: are you sure? nobody lost their dad in that. they just switched places and then she started flossing all the time.
me: but the old guy escaped his family!
mary: you're so confused.

it gets better...
me: you could buy a new TT while you're at home on your visit and then drive it back to north carolina. when tim gets a new car then nick wants his mazda.
mary: they only have one ausi dealership here, and they didn't have the right ones in stock. they won't get more until spring. all that was there was the... oh what's the word for that? recycled? no that's not it. for when the top comes off.
me: sure, a recycled car. you mean a convertible?
mary: yeah that's it. they only had the roadster convertibles.
me: you were making fun of me for confusing two movies, one of which i had never seen. now you can't tell the difference between recycled and convertible?!?
mary: well that's different. my two things are related.
me: i think i should go to bed soon.

is it the weather?

some odd things that happened today:
i only hit snooze once
the bus was at least 30 minutes late for every single person i know
the heater at work was all kerfuffled
a man rode past me on a unicycle
bubba and stuart were touching while sleeping
i simply could not live without health food
the word agitator was said on tv multiple times
dizzy begged to sit next to me
my impulse control problems made me periodically burst into song... but maybe that one isn't really so odd after all. i am me. these things happen.

i'm sleepy before midnight. that's super weird.
zzzz...

the agitator in spin cycle

MORE SNOW! isssooooo pwittteeeee. there was also something approximating the tenny tiniest hail bits i've ever seen at one point this afternoon. they were like miniature hail pellets. awww how cuuuuuuute. but seriously, i hope everyone was staying safe on the way home this evening. from what i can tell people do slow down when the weather gets shitty. that's a comfort to a weenie like me.

my whining is paying off. if i can get through just two small weeks of torture my load will lighten all the way back to 9 am. guess i really was a useless blob at work on the day after thanksgiving. guess they like me enough to want me to stay for a while. guess i can get more than a few hours of sleep a night pretty soon.

i'm not sure if the terminology is correct or not, but i think i might have something like intermediate insomnia. (holly or rhiannon feel free to correct me) it's been an intermittent problem for years, but especially when i have to get up early. i can fall asleep fast enough most of the time; then i wake up a few times a night when things are turbulent in my life. if my schedule is outta whack, as in getting up way too early, then i stress about getting to bed soon enough. hence comes the laying awake and trying to force myself to sleep... and the inevitable worrying about being late that keeps me awake longer than it should. this is followed by waking up in a panic that i really am running late, only to discover that i've only been asleep for a few hours. this cycle repeats itself until i feel nauseated and icky. throw in some dragging/forgetfulness/crankiness and VOILA!

is this where the agitator comes in? latent powers are exacerbated by a body spun out of control. things get all funky. snow and ice hit seattle in november. my internal time clock is just itching to be a scapegoat in all this. truly. i had better get some rest so that life can swing back towards normality.

random related rant: feminazis can be so schlocky and annoying. is this how the good christians - and i'm not being snarky this time - feel when some butt smear like (insert jerky alleged christian here) makes the rest of them look bad? this is obviously some great lesson to teach me more about compassion for others. it's so totally working. coo-winky-dink, epiphany, eureka!


what i read yesterday: on truth
what i'm reading today: bust magazine and blogs
what i'll read tomorrow: any suggestions?

DOOM!!!

yes, it really did snow here today. not very much, not even enough to stick on anything besides some windshields. but HA! maybe my hero name should be chicken little catalyst of doom. hmmm, that's a kind of long name. how about chickatalyst? let's face it - the sky is fucking falling here. the only thing holding it up at this point is my big head and big ego. aren't you glad i'm here to save you? snuggle up and enjoy the snow.

went out to the midnight movie last night! it was pretty cool to see CLUE in the theatre, partly because it was a bunch of old farts in there (i.e. no one under 25) whooping and squealing at the best parts. and the second best parts. and just about anything else we all thought was even remotely funny. in other words, we were a rowdy bunch of old farts who made a lot of noise. yay!

as punishment for being productive, i've been given the world's worst work schedule right now. 7 AM. seven. fucking. a. m. in the morning. before the worms or the birds rise. i feel myself starting to freak out right now. there is a slow descent into madness coming along quite nicely. should i play the "but it's my birthday!" card to escape for a day, or just take my obviously karmic punishment like a grownup? whine whine whine. complain complain complain. there is a reason i've avoided these working hours for my entire adult life. i suck at them. they make me physically ill and cranky to boot. let's hope this is only a temporary thing due to the holiday retail hell rush. if i can pull through the next couple of weeks without being fired for being late, maybe i can plead for mercy. i would really hate to have to look for a new job once again. ugh. job interviews are NOT my specialty.

WAIT! I'VE GOT IT! from now on, i'll be called (insert drumroll here):
THE AGITATOR!!!

doesn't make me sound like a washing machine, does it? like a really boxy big and bulky thing. ack, does this super name make my butt look fat? fuck it. i love it.



something on the web

derek is full of shit

this is the title of today's entry because, well, derek is full of shit. i don't know who told him that he's some kind of philosphizing wizard, but he's now gone mad with pontificating power. what. the. fuck?!?!

okay fine, you say, he's just expressing himself. let him get out there and be who he is, explore the inner life, blah bitty blah bitty fucking blah. that's all fine and good for you, my peeps. YOU don't have to live with his obsessive side. YOU don't have to listen to his idiotic theories on fuck knows what. YOU get to hide away, safe in your homes and away from his "you have to sleep SOMEtime" get back at me for making fun of him rantings. aren't you the lucky ones? oh, and don't think he doesn't know i'm sitting across the living room from him and talking about what an ass hat he is. we have a living and honest relationship around here. ass hat, i tell you. one step closer to being the ass-hole he wants to be. damn if we all don't know already that he's a perfect little saint who's so wonderful and sweet that it makes me want to barf like a girl with an eating disorder.

wait - didn't i already have an eating disorder? he's a hazard to my health! stop him before i get thin again! i don't wanna buy new pants. it's too complicated dealing with the lighting in those dressing rooms and i'm not making enough money to replace my entire wardrobe. but i digress.

i suppose i should just pump up his ego by nodding and smiling. or perhaps by telling him that's he's achieved his ass-hole goal. but he's still just an ass hat like it or not. if only i could get him to shut up about quantum physics and other things he knows butt about, i could probably get the house cleaned and look like the perfect little companion to saint derek. effing dork. freak. underpant neurotic weirdo. yes dear yes dear... i'm listening.

for now i will just turn him loose to binge on educational and home-oriented television ("look! i know how to make that shelf. i saw it on HGTV!") while i babble about the stupider side of life. i'll go on making the lowbrow into highbrow and making the highbrow into lowbrow, while never waxing an eyebrow. i might even bust out with the inerrupting cow knock knock joke when you least expect it. all things flippant and goofy are my tonic. that's where the REAL philosophy is... everyone knows that.


something i saw on amazon: whatever, the 90's pop and culture box set

my superhero skill

for a long time now, my superhero name has been "catalyst of doom" to reflect an assumed ability to make everything i touch turn to shit. businesses have shut down, magazines have folded, hair colors have gone all wiggly just from my involvement. in the scheme of things, i suppose it could be viewed as a self-important point of view for me to take; the idea that i could ruin everyone else's life is goofy. right? isn't it? please?

when we moved to suckifornia, everyone talked about how beautiful the weather would be there. this was quickly followed by record breaking heat and humidity, plus an impending possibility of rolling blackouts across the city. corporations bent to my will and volunteered to turn off a few lights once in a while. crisis averted. after pissing off the weather gods there, we decided enough damage had been done and split like a banana.

welcome to the new town of seattle, where floods are creeping up due to the record breaking rainfall for november. oh and don't forget the forecast that just told me it might snow this weekend (in a city where "it doesn't snow") and the thermometer is slowly having a nervous breakdown. these might seem like they're just blips on the satellite, but we all know that my ego is gigantic. GIGANTIC, I TELL YOU! it only takes a couple of tiny incidents to set off big head expansion. soon there won't be doors big enough for me.

in honor of my complete lunacy derek has renamed me. he says that i'm ACTUALLY supposed to be "the catalyst of change" and not doom. hmph. doom was comfortable for me. i was good at doom. pffffft, change? is he talking about quarters and dimes? it makes my nose wrinkle. i'll have to think about it more to know if i like it or not.

home trip hangover

there was a crazy amount of traffic that meant we didn't get home from the airport until after midnight, and then i had to be at work by eight this morning. ugh, talk about dragging ass all day. i was a little lost after being gone for a week, and i got next to no sleep. zzzzz...

tonight is blob night in the apartment. it's time to catch up on sitting around doing nothing in preparation for the holiday weekend shopping frenzy. eek. they call it "black friday" these days. hmmm. that does not bode very well for the mood of the crowd, does it? i'm going with that whole buy nothing theme that they say (them, they, those people, etc.) it's supposed to be about. i have to be there at seven so let's just hope for the best.

what are you buying this weekend?


something i googled: amy sedaris cheeseballs

baby antics

you know that if i'm amused by a baby it's got be a good time. they all look the same to me for the most part. they have to do something really special to get my attention. otherwise i just tell parents to watch "the dog whisperer" and get tips from cesar on how to deal with the kids. (hey, i just try whatever works with the cats and it usually works on an infant just as well.) just for the crap of it, here are some fun and doody-full snippets from conversations on poop and life, courtesy of max and merritt's bakery...

one of the reasons to enjoy your friends having babies is for the comical things that they so. while out at the bakery with rhiannon this morning, the baby managed to crap on its own back. he didn't even start crying like he does when he's being evil twin finn. just a squeak and a grunt, enough to get her to pick him up out of the baby bucket.

rhiannon: what's up max? do you need me to hold you?
me: uhhhh, it's crapped on its back.
rhiannon: oh jeez. we'll have to make a pit stop by the house.
me: hehehehehehehe. he crapped on his back! hehehehe. that's some powerful shit! hehehe. look at that! hehehehe
rhiannon: yeah yeah whatever.

cut to the changing table. the air is toxic, rhiannon is turning her head away while her eyes appear to be watering from the stank. she goes to put his clothing in the washer immediately. he proceeds to lay around naked peeing on himself and anything near him.

me: i think he just peed into the air.
rhiannon: well, of course. of course! is there more where that came from, max? what are you doing? you're going to need a bath. i'm going to make your dad give you a bath. what all did he pee on?
me: it looked like the whole table. yep, there's some along the side. hehehe, max peed straight into the air, AND he crapped on his own back AND all the way down his leg! what are you feeding him? is this that appelsauce? hehehehe. i wonder if i've ever crapped on my own back.
rhiannon: probably before you were old enough to remember it.
me: i don't know. i had some drug haze moments, but i don't think i did. i'm sure i've peed so much it went on my back.
rhiannon: like in a puddle that leaked up your back? ewww, there's a puddle from where he peed all over the place!
me: hehehehe. look, he's scared the cat into the other room! i know the smell of cat poop. if it's so bad that the cat ran away, it's pretty bad.
rhiannon: i have pee on my shirt now.
me: thanks max. moments like these are the whole reason to come home and see you. you laughed, you screamed, and now you're crapped on your back and peed all over. this trip is complete now.
rhiannon: oh well. it's ed's shirt anyway.

hehehehe...


something i've googled: holy-habits nun paper dolls

goodie bag

scheduled maintenance has now been performed. i've got spanking new hormone surges rushing through my body and another filling in my crappy teeth. not only that, but i got an exciting bag full o' goodies from my visits. new toothbrushes, pocket calendars, candy, stickers, drugs... all the things that make those office visits worth it. i told you it's not worth it to switch doctors if you don't really have to make the change yet.

tomorrow is the flight back to seattle and some last minute piddling around. overall it's been a pleasant trip. thanks to derek for making me come out here in spite of my crazy person "oh i'll just sit here and cancel my flights" middle of the night attacks. this will count as one splendid early birthday present. that should take the pressure off of him to find me some perfect little doodad next week. that's okay since i have all the office supplies i need and the shoes i like are fucking expensive as hell. maybe i'll just ask him to get me a banana. just so he feels like he's getting me a present and knows it would be something i like.

this place makes me feel like a rock star. it's been a whirlwind of running around and seeing people and getting stuff done. then the requisite napping and dragging ass from forgetting to go to sleep and then getting up early. i haven't even started my proto-packing (as diana would call it) to figure out what will fit in my suitcase. how is it that i can come here with a quasi-full bag, hand out gifts, and still go home with more in the end? something in this equation is just too ethereal for me. wow i really am loopy. it must be time for bed. zzzzzzz...


something i've googled: mr. t virtual playset

postulation-ary-ish-ism-esque

"i'm only happy when it rains... i'm only happy when it's complicated..."

there is a humorous so-called theory in circulation that even when you put an ipod on the random setting, it will continue to pick certain songs it tends to like more than others. living amongst geeks could have possibly made me think of this as poppycock until today. not only did my little shuffle develop affection for the garbage version of this song, but it followed up directly each time by playing the richard cheese version of the EXACT SAME THING. creepy, huh? i also have two versions of "perhaps perhaps perhaps" loaded right now and i'm waiting anxiously to see the outcome on that end. can your ipod have a personality of its own? according the the so-called theory - hell yes. love is kinda crazy with a spooky little ipod like you.

in other scooby doo, i went to see TC's production of " the pillowman" this evening. eee! quelle non-suckage! i haven't felt this freaky since i was on medication. this is reason enough for me to keep the arts in my life. who needs meds when you have culture and shit like that? i heart theatre.

mmm, taco frikkin bueno!

to my right, yummy goodies from the local gourmet store.
in front of me, papers with people i know on the pages.
to my left, CRUNCHY POTATO WITH CHICKEN BURRITOS!

the festival of food here is in full swing and running. it ranges from organic foofoo pasta samples to nachos to beef stroganoff and beyond. i don't know about you, but i allow myself a certain amount of unbridled indulgence (although that really sounds like some oxymoronica) when on vacation. add to that the fact that everyone wants to feed me while i'm at home and now you've got a recipe for FUDFUDFUDTASTICA! not copious amounts or anything, but a constantly meal-centric frame of events.

eee! kris just called and she's on her way here form kansas. veronica is coming in from dallas. i feel like i have my own gravitational pull. hey are you calling me fat, buddy?! i'm just kinda big boned... err, large framed. squishy and squeezy, as it be. if i eat the second burrito i bet we can lure someone else into town.

more about my food:
it's just one of those things having to do with wanting what you can't have. even if we did have a taco bueno in seattle it still wouldn't be the same. how many times have you heard (or uttered) the phrase "but it's jussssst NOT the saaaaaame" when adapting to a different version of the exact same damn thing? so no matter what i have in my new home, there are still things and places in my oklahomie that are just different. the new things are terrific and all that, but i'd sooner have a myspace booty call page than try to compete with the power of sentiment. it's just not the same.

p.s. i know people in the paper here. eee!

it's a world gone mad

so when i signed on to my google page this morning it had some crazy generic "DUHHHHH HICKEY" style top headlines from cnn.com:
deadly tornado rips up trailer park
detroit gunman on run after deadly shooting spree
democrats to settle leadership feud

for some reason this made me laugh. it was like playing hey kids let's state the fucking obvious. (not bagging on detroit or anything - a shooter in any city would be on the run) is this what the news has been reduced to in our modern ultracommunicative world? are we just recycling headlines because we're too lazy to see what's going on out there? isn't it supposed to be NEWs? personally, i think we've all hopped a train car and we're riding the rails to crazytown, hobo style.

not that i have any clue what the heck is going on, but i do try with my limited resources to investigate here and there. if this is all it takes to be an editor in journalism then sign me up. the workload seems right and the lack of content hints to me that the hours are totally sweet.

do i get vacation time and dental with that???

random side notes - chapter six

derek's toiletries were taken from him at the airport because they were in the wrong container and he didn't immediately remove them from his suitcase to be inpected. he'd put them in a clear plastic zipper bag, as opposed to a ziploc one quart bag. for reasons of national security, the people at the gate threw out his toothpaste. does anyone else think the war on terror is starting to resemble the plot to tim burton's first batman movie?

this week's theme in my life has been coincidence. serendipity has taken over once again and i feel cosmically interconnected and stuff like that. cowinkydinkydoo.

we put an emerald crab named eli into the tank a few weeks ago. it was supposed to be another way to keep the algae under control and add to our little ecosystem. he spends most of his time hiding out and avoiding me. i'm not even sure where he is right now, but derek keeps spotting him (allegedly) running around and so i don't think he died. maybe eli is antisocial. or he's just crabby. hehehee

my hair's getting really long again.

shopping alerts: mmm, fresh roasted coffee! we got a pound of the swanky stuff and it smells really wonderful, not to mention being a pot of tasty goodness. who doesn't need a little more foofoo caffeine in their life, right? and who doesn't need pantsies with ruffles on the butt? i can see you agree and you're jealous of my new rumba pantsies in green plaid. just like you want the copy of the new amy sedaris book "i like you" that wandered home with me this week. you can't have it. it's mine! my consumer gene has somehow been activated and i'm going mad with buying power. stop me before we buy a sofa.

maegan in los crapeles told me how hot it was there this week. even in mid-november they had a record breaking heat wave where downtown hit 90 and the valley was about 100 degrees. it's fucking AUTUMN, people! now you see why fat girls like me can't take it there. oh, and there's that whole human being factor. let's just say that i'm glad to get use of my jacket once again.

is there some other place we could put the seams on socks? they squish into the top of my pinky toe ("...now ah got to cut ya," says nick) and make my foot uncomfortable in a shoe. they should definitely figure out some other way to put those things together. damn, i wish i had some seamless socks.

in my impulse shopping mania, i also got one of those paddle with a ball on a rubber band things. i've only hit myself in the eye once. the night is still young.

derek is about to hit himself in the eye. i'm going to laugh when that happens. i'm going to laugh so so hard that snot flies out and accidentally lands on the cat.

tim gunn and the bus

yesterday started out to be total fucking crap. moody. hungry. lonely. sleepy. not happy with other people. blech blech blech. whine whine complain complain.

remember how we all thought i wouldn't meet any more celebrities at work since we moved to seattle? well, HA! first off, the author of the darwin awards books came in to sign a bunch of copies and got to see me in the middle of my moods. and the computers were freezing. and my head was up my butt. and we couldn't find her books. things were going oh so well. really, she was full of good humor and found it all very funny. she even gave some oversized postcards with individual darwin awards printed on them to brighten my day. big ups to wendy northcutt.

right before lunch there was a surprise at work. rumor had it that "the guy from project runway... does anyone here watch that show?" was in the store. EEE! let's all say it together now - EEEEEEEE!!! trying to be cool about it, i went to hunt him down covertly and found that he was standing right in my path to the break room, so i asked if he needed any help before doing that whole "aren't you him" thing. then the gushing began, peppered with some coherent conversation. we chatted for a few minutes about the show and mary (and how she has no bravo channel in NC - he was appalled at hearing that) and his event that night. he told me to tell mary thank you for saying nice things about him and blushed accordingly. he mentioned that he loved coming to seattle and asked me how i liked the recent move and about how different it was from oklahoma. then we bagged on los crapeles together in snickering tones before i said how nice it was to meet him and excused myself to go have lunch.

the best part of it? look for another infamous celebrity-chance-meeting humdinger here. (hey, i think i've improved vastly in this department since those other... shal we say, debacles of indignity) in the middle of our chatting, we shook hands and it went something like this:

me - by the way hi, i'm george.
tg - and hello i'm tim.
me - well duh, i knew that already.
tg - oh. (giggle)

i heart tim gunn. i even stopped by macy's after work to be a part of the hubbub. though we didn't get to have another exchange, the store did have all the winning challenge pieces on display where i could see them up close and personal from about three feet away. neat-o stuff indeed.

another milestone of the week was my conquering of the bus. not the whole system, but at least the one i can take to get home. nothing crazy yet, but i do know now where the free ride zone starts. this is key when you only feel like walking halfway to downtown and you're running a few minutes late. hooray for the free ride area! i'll be working on transfers and cross town transit next. see, i told you i could do it. and i didn't even see any bloody people on the bus.

i may not be able to move any mountain, but those molehills aren't so bad.

which button did i press?

damn, i hate it when i erase something and i don't even know what i did to make it disappear. how did this happen? is there a shiny red button that i wasn't supposed to touch? because i have to be honest here, i will ALWAYS press the shiny red button. it's shiny, for fuck's sake!

howsabout i treat myself to a reposting, eh?


Friday, November 03, 2006
odd things in my house

as the unpacking continues, things keep surfacing that give me pause. they're not the weirdest things ever considering the company i keep. these things just make me wonder what else i kept across all the moves. what more surpises await me?

things found so far:
three colors of feather boas
pants with holes in the crotch
a bottle of spirit gum
four thingies of deodorant
a tiny cuisinart (from the last tenant)
the infamous "dead teddy"
expired vitamins
value pack of shoelaces
some sparkly false eyelashes
oozing melted stress ball
a scented rosary
my old cracked cellphone
fifty thousand lipsticks
box filled with bottle caps
dried up gluesticks
mystery keys
a super fancy label maker
the remains of a tivo


it's not all terribly strange; just strange as to why some of it insists on following me all this way. look around... what's the oddest thing you've seen in your house lately?

posted by georgeious @ 11:55 PM

date night times two

ahhh, romance. love... exciting and new. come aboarrrrrd, we're expecting yoooooouuuu.

first comes gelato, then comes dinner, then comes us walking to the movies.

it's been a long time since i've seen a line outside of a movie. it's been even longer since i've seen shows sold out ahead of time. such was the case with "borat" on friday night. the place was absolutely packed! normally i'm used to going out for my little artfag movies and being in a theatre with about a dozen other people. sitting next to strangers and hearing the roar of a crowd whilst seeing a feeeeelllm is a new thing for me. nonetheless, we had a good time being out on a date and enjoyed the crazed sascha baron cohen at his nuttiest.

by the way, riso rice gelato rules. i think i'm addicted to gelato. it's so damn hard to find some of those flavors in just an ice cream or a frozen custard. do they even have frozen custard here? must put that on my "to find" list.

as if friday night weren't enough, derek got us tickets to the theatre saturday afternoon. yes, derek went to see yet another live show without even knowing anyone in it. it's a freakin' miracle, i tell you. AND we had fun! a few months ago scott had recommended for me to read the script for "thom pain" if i got a chance. instead, we got to see a production of this one man show. rating well on the EEE! scale, it's only about 75 minutes long and full of "speaking of scooby doo" left field script bits that interweave quite well. when is theatre club going to do this one? (hint hint)

on the way home we tromped through the rain to eat at dick's drive in. as a person who is not particularly a fan of plain fries, i gotta say they have some KICK ASS FRIES. this place is some sort of seattle legend as far as eating huts go. if the translucent sacks are any kind of testament to their happy greasy goodness then i'm all for it. woohoo for shitshack food.

see? i'm getting a life.

running with the crowd

it's halloooooooowwwwweeeeeeeeen - BOO!

today i got to be part of a group. it was KISS if you want to be exact about it. there were some people at work painting their faces and they needed another member to complete the band, so i was taken hostage. or can you call it being taken hostage if you gave your consent. enough quibbling... we'll just say that my forehead was kidnapped by some face paint but i happily went along for the ride. to be honest, i'm not really that knowledgable about the ins and outs of KISS, so i had to ask someone else which one i was when we were posing for the photo. (if they know anything, then i was ace) hey, if you're not a nutty fan and other people are already paul and gene, it can make you look like a real asshole that you have to stop and wonder who you are for halloween. fuck it. i have my mask on and i'm participating, even being sociable in the face of my own inner shyness/fear of rejection/anxiety. whoop a dee doo for me!

one other good thing of the day was lunch. i went out with a girl that i barely know from work to a nearby diner. success? mais oui. not only did i get up the nerve to ask someone to have lunch with me, but i got to have hash browns, fried eggs, and a lovely chat as my reward. after lunch i went back to work and even got candy. it's funny how a day can just fall into place sometimes.

but let's get something straight here:
when i say i'm not good with people, i mean just that. there is no humble veneer or sly wit to it. being around others can be exhausting for me because i lack certain filters that make me act "appropriately" for the situation. i have to think really hard most of the time about what it is i've obviously just said or did that left you standing there with your mouth hanging open or made you glare at me like that. it's not that i'm trying to be remedial; i just really have no idea how to behave most of the time. to me, that would qualify as being not good with people. while it's not that difficult to play off my social affliction as a penchant for snappy repartee and crazy nonsequitors, it is nonetheless uncomfortable. it might be just as uncomfortable (whether it's enduring me or encountering new social situations) for other people, but very few of them are letting on to that. i'm just going to go out on a limb and guess that being around people can suckity suck for just about anyone. some of us are just lucky to be oblivious enough to not notice that everyone is aghast and/or confused by our last comment. don't mistake bravery for the lack of being scared.

speaking of running with the awkward, i am part of another group of someones. although i don't really know those someones yet, i can tell you that we all park in the same garage and we all drive a volkswagen. it's KIS-MET! (a la norville's KAR-MAAAAA in the hudsucker proxy) everyone who parks here has one model or another! how's that for freaky freak? if one were still seeing signs, they might see this as a good one that we moved into the right building. i must say, i do like my little built-in window bench.

this is definitely motivation to look for more coincidence in my life.

shiny shiny shiny

okay, i know it has been said by me numerous times already, but i have to repeat it again here - this place is like living in a fucking postcard! the shine is definitely still on, and i am lurrrrving it in seattle. EEE!

having always been the type of person to hang around the downtown area of a city, it's completely refreshing to see so many people walking around downtown at all sorts of hours. even on the weekends! just to see so many people walking all the time makes for a great atmosphere, and it encourages us to walk more ourselves. the area of town where we're living has so many things accessible by foot that we've been able to hoof it for most all of our everyday items and activities. derek feels somewhat urban or cosmopolitan being in the thick of things. there is the big hill issue, and my ability to find the most punishing of routes from time to time; every way to the house is uphill from just about anywhere else. but you know what? i can always catch the bus if i'm wimpy or tired or maybe just cold. (we'll get to that one in a second) that's right! there's a real bus system here! riding the transit is on my list of things to conquer this month as i'm exploring our new home.

the cooking is even continuing! i made an awesome fresh tomato sauce, and derek put together this meal of cherryand pepper pork loins with cayenne caulifower topped in this sauce that was all creamy cheesy cheesy creamy. nummy nums. the food situation has improved a thousand percent since the move.

on the weather - can we all say "jacket weather" together now? autumn is my favorite season and i thought i'd be stuck in los crapeles, thus having to miss out on the wonders of color and beauty. not so, peeps. it's that postcard thing again. beautiful, scenic, coniferous: wish you were here! there's a flurry of jaunty scarves and caps on people everywhere you look, and the colors from those move past the falling leaves and changing skies to make this one truly awesome mosaic. most days during my lunch break i sit on a bench outside and just watch all the people go by while i marvel at the newness of this place. that is, i marvel while i try to stay away from the nearby fancy cupcake store.

today it occurred to me that i can walk to the market from work, so i got fresh fruit when i was at lunch. then i took a stroll past a few bakery stall and sniffed like a cocaine addict on my way around the corner. while managing to find the uphill route back to work (of course) i could hear the bzzz, bzzz, business of everything going on. it made me feel... damnit, i haven't quite got the word for it just yet. could the word be giddy? am i serene?

what the fuck is happening to me?!? i guess one could say that it feels like coming back to life.

i believe that last week i described it as being allowed to breathe again after your brother holds your down on the ground and farts directly in your face. not that they would ever traumatize me like that when i was little. like just a little bitty kid. nahhhhh. if they did, i'm pleased to have such a vivid experience to look back upon so that i can accurately describe my time in suckifornia to an extent where other people can understand it with such clarity. pffft.

in honor of my epiphanetic (that's not a new word - i made it up a long time ago) state of mind, i've decided that i'm not going to hold my breath and wait for the bad things to come. fuck that "other shoe" syndrome i usually get when something is going well. i'm hoping to keep the shine on for as long as i can.

p.s. it seems like the cats love it here too! no more hiding under the bed and pouting for this nutty trio. they're in full on cuddle mode again. meow.

super happy mail friends

my mailbox is happy this week. i got new stamps and i'm using them. tankoos to jenny for the sock monkey target card. you make me smile and i'll be thinking of you when i buy more toilet paper.

i'm going to bed late again, but i was really doing stuff this time. we went to dinner out at kelly and bonnie's house. (the stew was terrific and auburn reminds me of owasso in a weird way) we went on the neverending hunt for a new sofa. we cleaned up a few things. we took out the trash. i almost have a life. we're even making plans to hang out with milana and her person. wheeee!

for those of you wondering, the weather is beee-yoo-tee-full. just being in this climate is making me better. it's a lot easier to get through the day during this move. the rest will sort itself out in a new place when you don't physically feel like shit all the time. it's so much easier to see things as transition instead of sentencing and/or penance. i've even stopped with the whole "it's a SIIIIIGNNNN" catholic creepy soothsayer thing. well, not stopped entirely, but it's back in check.

holly says me not seeing signs all the time could be a sign.
it's a good sign.

did she really cook that?

i should totally be in bed. i'm going i'm going. really, i promise. i'm not going to stay up all night again tonight. maybe tomorrow night. holly and i were discussing our internal time clocks recently and pretty much figured out that, if left to our own devices, we would stay up most of the night and then sleep until noon. (a point proven yet again this weekend when i had some time off) good thing i have a job to keep me on track here and there.

derek says i'm supposed to tell you about our trip to the theatre:
no, it was absolutely fucking nothing like theatre club's production of the underpants in tulsa. it was in the round, done as a period piece, extremely sitcomesque on the humor, and funded out the wazoo. oranges and apples, as they say. we did have a good time and laugh a lot, most likely catching many lines that others missed and at times being the only two in the audience giggling like maniacs. a few tears were shed. some from missing the theatre and richard, some from laughing really hard. the evening in general would rate well on the EEE! scale as a good date night, including all the preshow downtown time-killing trudging and snacking.

this week we went out to archie mcphee fluevog and even finally had to get a tank of gas. (this hasn't happened out here yet - woohoo!) we also took some time to stroll through the pike place market. oh, and we figured out that they do farmers' markets all the way into the winter here! it inspired me to get four thousand tons of produce and spices and things in an attempt to tackle the kitchen.

most days the cooking is left to derek if it's anything more than simple pastas and such. i am a menace to culinary society. most people will eat their own cooking even it if tastes bad, just because they cooked it themselves. in contrast, i can make food so repellant that i won't or can't even finish it... sometimes because i'm in the bathroom throwing up. wait wait wait - things have only gotten that bad a few times. very bad and icky times. on occasion, i decide that i know how to cook and thus suddenly wander into the kitchen to create in the style of an artiste. when miracles occur and the moon is in the whatever house i can pull it off with panache. when things go badly, well... remember how i mentioned the throwing up thing?

this weekend was a success, though. never mind the cream of rice. never mind the beans and sweet cornbread. never mind the sauteed cabbage and bacon stuff. people, we have achieved an edible dinner of roasted lamb chops! that's right, it was lamb in a creamy apricot sauce with a side of garlicky dill new potatoes. i fucking rock in the kitchen today. no one got sick, the meat was very tender, and derek ate the whole thing with no prodding whatsoever. no. seriously. i mean it.

could fried rice be next? i think so. with any hope, there just might be more to my mad skills than turkey sammiches or mac and cheeeeeeze.

this place could be a good influence on me.

the brief update

ugh, me tired.

check weather forecast.
walk.
work work work.
shop for produce.
walk.
empty some more boxes.
walk.
look for monitor for derek.
check weather forecast.
feed cats and fish.
walk.
clean house.
shower.
walk.
go to post office.
register to vote.
check weather forecast.
eat food.
stare at street map.
walk.

more later...

all alone in the new hood

well, as soon as we got here and got "settled in" to the new place, derek had to go to a conference in boston. hmph. imagine that, moving to a new city and leaving your girlfriend all by her lonesome. hmph. woe to me.

most of my time has been spent staring. (hey zhen, i'm turning into you!) there was a lot of staring at road signs on the drive home from the airport, a lot of staring at the mess while i contemplated shoving boxes around, more staring on my walk downtown and back, and a teensy bit of staring at the television. after a cool runnings moment this afternoon - in which i cry during a movie that you can and would make fun of me for crying at - i got up and actually opened the boxes i was shoving yesterday.

though it has been said by me quite a few times this year, i must tell you this once again: moving sucks. my back hurts. at least it was a good move this time.

the big news? i start my new job on monday! celebrations are in order! even took myself out to a movie and poured enough butter on the popcorn to make even holly the butter queen barf. as a piece of warning, i'll tell you that "the last king of scotland" is pretty fucking scary. the gruesome moments are vividly gruesome, and forest whitaker is psychotic as shit. the movie overall wasn't fantabulous, but he scared the crap outta me as idi amin. go see it just for that and then wonder how the hell he directed hilary duff in another movie... or if that was what drove him to this awesome level of insanity.

random side note: i can walk uphill BOTH WAYS around here.

derek has promised to take me to a play called "thom pain" this weekend. we're going to the theatre without even knowing anyone in the show. does this make us real live theatregoers now? how mature. dear scott and julie and craig, there is hope for the world! real live people who get off the couch and go to see art and shit like that. who'd have guessed it could happen? woohoo, three EEE cheers for culture!

not that this will take me away from battlestar galactica and PR. i'm rooting for jeffrey to kick some ass now.

how to make a home

the first thing you need to make a home is a place to rest you weary head. if you're like me, other people tend to underestimate your ability to sleep. personally, i can fall asleep just about anywhere; the list includes hardwood floors, afterhours clubs, sidewalks, butterfly chairs, and even swings in a park. rest is good for you. take it seriously. maybe you could even spring for a new fluffy pillow to cushion your inevitable collapse. in any case, just fall down and catch some zzz's here and there. insert rejuvenation here.

the next thing you'll need is a new shower curtain. if you have the unfortunate status of being stuck with stall doors, then you can improvise by decorating the bathroom mirror with clings or getting yourself some new scrubbies or extra washcloths. oh, and don't forget to bring some good toilet paper. your digestive system is always completely out of whack after a move. need i elaborate? i think not.

somewhere in between pushing all those boxes of stuff around (whose shit IS all this, anyway?!?) it'll be time to take a break. whatever you choose as your poison, a must have in this instance is your own special cup. it might be a holdover from your time as a little kid that instills the need for MINE MINE MINE in a dish. it could be that you need something you can actually locate when it's time to sit on the floor and wonder how long it'll be before you'll allow anyone to see the new place. perhaps it's just that whole thing where you just want to know that you have a personal space amidst the bedlam. whichever option you believe, get a cup and fucking stick with it for a few days. but don't forget to rinse it out.

by this point, your new house is starting to take some sort of shape. you've probably found your underpants and gotten your internet access on legs. there's a donation box started somewhere, if only you could tell the difference between that box and the one with all the old tape and other garbage in it. you're starting to figure out which key goes to what and you're at least thinking about the groceries that need to go in the fridge. soon. when you get to the store. maybe tomorrow if you remember and have time. that can of beans from the last place is still in the running for dinner if you don't get a better offer, ya know. you must have packed all those condiments for a reason, right? surely no one in this house spent good money on cream of chicken soup. i wonder if HP sauce is good on a tortilla or if it's better to dip a triscuit in peanut butter and then... hold on a second. did i digress?

so before you explore the spice cabinet any longer, step back and walk around. look at all that blank space you've got. no no no, not on the floor. the floor is a fucking mess and you're thinking about bubble wrap as your new pillow because you haven't made it out to buy another one yet. i'm talking about that blank space on the walls. yessssss! THAT space! now get out your hammer and start making some holes. not the big kind. the kind with nails and screws and picture hanger thingies. then stick some photos and posters and maps and hooks and goodness knows what else to all your brand new sticky-outies! oh, and you can even use the all the stuff left behind by the last person's whatnots. take that as i mean it - not how it sounds. just stick it.

put up all your favorite shit and give your new home some good lovin' so that when you do collapse on your bubble wrap with your cup stuck to the side of your face (you forgot to rinse it out, didn't you?) and then wake up ready for a shower and some, uhhh, toilet paper, you can pass by everything and think to yourself, "hey, i really fucking live here now. wooohooooo!" because you do, and now you know it.

just remember where you put your tools.

near death experiences

so yes, the move was a little bit eventful. is there some reason they kept playing "american pie" on every radio station the whole way up here? quite frankly, it was starting to make me kind of paranoid. i did not want it to be the day my music fucking died. after what one could call the tribulations of our trip, we arrived safely. about as broken and wilty as a bowl full of soggy cereal, but safe.

it's actually been a few days, but i just got hooked up again on wednesday (yes, i did see the project runway reunion special - oh my gawwwwd) and we've been out walking around and finding stuff for most of the week. the moving in was painful, and now the new place is (still) a complete stinking mess. i couldn't be happier right now. all of the animals are alive and well and eating lots of food, and i'm still speaking to derek in spite of wanting to beat the crap out of him. tempers run hysterically short during thousand mile moves. dunno why.

here is the shorter version of the infamous northerly drive: got no sleep, hot and humid weather for the loading up, walk through on old place went late, FOUR back tires got replaced on the truck before we even left los crapeles, cats whining and twitchy, hot and boring drive all the fucking way through suckifornia, ten billion more miles just to get out of california, headlights screwed up on mountain passes in southern oregon, running several hours late and stopped early for the night at the one place rhiannon told me to avoid, crazy ear-popping traffic to eugene, wreck on the interstate involving a semi and an overturned vehicle, another hour of waiting by the side of the road to get going again, couple of wrong turns to gas stations, arrival about twelve hours later than planned, scant parking, stairs and a pushcart, setting up fishtank and litterbox, collapse into heap of hunger/exhaustion/irritation while squinting snottily at each other. BUT WE MADE IT!

to be sure, i wouldn't let my peeps down by being a rock - i lost my fucking mind at least twice this week and broke down in a crying mess. blubber blubber blubber. the first time was about ten minutes after we arrived to our new home and the second time was when i realized how much happier i am now that we're out of suckifornia. i am nothing if not both sides of the coin.

we've already been to ikea (twice) and almost got run off the road on the way back home. did i mention that i'm getting paranoid on the road? hey, you try driving, or even trying to follow, a moving truck around downtown seattle and see if you come away without any added mental scars!

after a week filled with near hits, i'm exceedingly glad for all of those misses. without them, i never would have been able to go out to the movies last night. by the way, i would highly recommend "little miss sunshine" to all of you with dark humor and unresolved issues. this movie rocks. the last time i actually went out to a movie theatre was with nick, if that tells you anything. it's just not the same going to the movies without him. i even ate popcorn by sticking my face into the bag and grabbing the buttery pieces snowflake style. it was a good day.

what's next? i have no idea.

last minute whatnot

it's very late here and i should be asleep, but i'm agog with anticipation.

just so you all know, all three cats are nervous but undoubtedly still eating. they're starting to get jumpy and stuart is ripping through the house at light speed. bubba is hogging the couch. dizzy is extremely talkative and pushy. so far so good with them.

not much else is left to do, especially since i watched project runway and they totally cheesed out on me. fuckers. that's all i'll say for fear of being a spoiler, although you probably already know what's going on if you gossip about it at all. we all know you can't escape hype and frenzy no matter how hard you try. this reminds me - i think i'll reward myself for the move with some new trashy magazines. let's all go look at in touch on sunday night and think of each other, okay?

must. sleep. losing. mind. zzz...

moving day is coming

today is the day we pick up the truck.

i'm starting to get some odd butterflies in my tummy this week. they're still milder than the ones that appeared before the move out here, but just hovering there to remind me that a big day is approaching quickly.

there is one other thing that's making me twitchy today. this morning when i woke up, it occurred to me how self-absorbed i've been over the past few months. whine whine whine, me me me, blah blah blah. such an irritatingly icky quality has been heartily cultivated by our new social environment (i.e. oh it's just a suckifornia thing, like buying organic celery) and i'm not pleased with it. ironically, it takes self examination to realize that you're self-absorbed, a thought that makes me shudder in itself. ack! vicious cycle!

what i am hoping to rediscover with this move:
people don't completely suck all the time
there is a world beyond my own complaining
it's okay to get out of the house
learning new things is not awful
being scared can motivate you if you let it
wallowing takes lots of energy
i suck sometimes, but that's okay
sunlight is good for you


ugh, realization is gooey. all this schmaltz is making me want to barf. i'd better go back to getting something done around the house so we can load up and i can get wacky with the wood oil soap. and the bubble wrap... oh, that bubble wrap!

roller fucking coasters!

we went to magic mountain today and i almost threw up - WHEEEEE! note to all: almost throwing up constitutes having to take a sitdown and have lemonade break to avoid it, but ultimately not actually throwing up. it was more the action of having one woozy eye and one squinty eye while stumbling around like a crazy vodka monkey. then there would be a moment of recovery before we moved on, during which i hopped around like a crazy vodka monkey on crack. no wonder i don't drink often and never do crack. who needs it when you're getting all those g-forces? in short, we're pooped from the day of thrills and feel beaten all to hell. yes, it was fucking great.

after some initial jitters, i was instructed to just get on one of those bad boys, go up that big stinking hill, then let go so i could scream like a sissy and until i could get it all out. of course the first one we got on was HUGE with a drop that was steeper than falling after tripping on the sidewalk. ready, steady, now everybody... SCRREEEEEEEAAAAAAAMMMM!!! we saw photos of ourselves on the first drop as we exited the ride. guess what guess what guess what? I LET GO!

thank you. i needed that. all this junkety ass stress about moving (oh, yeah, we got the lease!) and watching over the cats and blah bitty blah senseless worrying can get a person just a wee bit wound up and twitchy. oooh ooh, and another thing cool happened at the park! derek wanted to ride the carousel with with at the end of the night so we could hold hands and be cute and happy. dare i say romantic? shut up, stop barfing; go with it people. it was quite a day.

who cares if it was hot and we paid five bucks for a lemonade? who cares if i smell like an amusement park and my hair got so tangled that my head hurt when i brushed it? who even gives a crap if there was the only very occasional annoying kid? (bonus note: only go to amusement parks in the off season. there are no lines!) the experience was peppy and cheap compared to years of therapy and/or crazy drug habits or other insert problem here type of things. peppy and cheap is good - so sayeth the word of me me me. we cuddled and laughed and even got to ride the tram back to the car when we left. THE TRAM, i tell you! derek bought me a cheeseburger on the way home. we are gleefully worn out. we are refreshed with excitement. we are dizzy and even sort of serene in our exhaustion. it would be safe to say that i think everyone should ride a rollercoaster sooner or later.

just remember to let go:
everybody... SCRRREEEEEEAAAAAAMMMMMMM!!!!!

last weekend in los crapeles

we've done a few things this week to give ourselves a big sendoff from this place, including:
playing a good game of "rich or homeless?" in beverly hills (you'd be amazed, really)
eating at roscoe's chicken & waffles
pre-shopping for the new house at ikea
cafe bonjour kosher sushi deli
buying corn on the street
taking the 405 south - on purpose
passing the hollywood bowl

things still on the list:
dinner with tara in sanny montica
a trip to the beach
magic mountain and rollercoasters

one of our neighbors got me a chick-o-stick as a parting gift. he had to go out the way out to venice beach to find them. maegan is at work on another movie, but has some spare time to goof off a little before we go. we've sent in our address change cards and gotten the new lease for seattle. only a few days until we get the truck and start loading up. i won't miss the smell of fire all around, that's for sure.

we'll be taking it easier on this trip than the last one. we're planning to meet up with our friend candace in oregon along the way and staying the night in eugene. i'm freaking out a little here and there, but it's easy to calm myself down with projects like shredding paper or cleaning the house. the packing hasn't been a trauma at all! i guess it's a good thing that we never really settled into this apartment and we still had some things packed away in the closet. that should save me from facing total chaos on moving day. can't wait for those cats and fish to get to our new place. meow meow meow glub glub.

i quit! again!

today is my last day at work here. it was a record-holding job for me, but it's time to get packing, in more ways than one. so fuck them. i'm wearing my shirt and the touchy suckifornia bastards can all just deal with it. what are they gonna do... fire me??!?! hehehhe, i'm such a pisser.

avast ye mateys - ahoy

yes yes yes i did celebrate talk like a pirate day, of course. i wore my pirate tank top and everything. the best part was running into other people who knew about it, including those wearing jolly roger and assorted other gear. eee! i mean, arrrrrr...

one more day at work until i take off to get crackin-at-a-packin for the move. i've done some good prep work and started the "protopacking" already. this shouldn't take anywhere near as long as i had expected. now i'm just hopeful that we'll be faxed a lease before my deadline for a nervous breakdown arrives. eep - i'm wigging out a little here. oh please oh please oh please let me maintain a placid front for at least one more day before going kooky.

time for another nip off the chick-o-stick and a smoke before i pretend to clean the apartment. i'll really just be pining for some new project runway. you all knew this already, but i must tell you that I HEART KAAAYYYNNNE! oh, and i'll check the scifi channel for eureka. nick just has to watch this show. it makes me think of him when i see it and i smile. eee!

shiver me timbers, mateys.

who the hell is this person?

so in the hubbub of the past week, i've totally been gathering all these thoughts to publish about the new move. also in the hubbub, i can't remember a damn one of them. short version? we're moving and i'm excited/barfy/freaky today. insert emotion here, i've been going through it! i mean this in the best possible way, even though it took some "you're being a crazy person" therapy to get centered. or off-centered. or off-kilter and spazzy. whichever it is.

we had dinner with bonnie and kelly! it took about 30 seconds after meeting them in person to calm down and not think they would hate me. we chatted an laughed all through dinner in a manner that could only be known as incessant, and then just kept on yammering the whole way down the street. how fun is that? it was a welcome relief after an entire day of go go go find a place to live and get your shit together marathon running. whew.

during my trip, it has occurred to me that some parts of me have remained untouched in suckifornia, like wondering what those people in the hills do in the wintertime. on the flip side, i've acquired a few odd habits that i can't wait to shed when we leave there. things like:
1. buying organic celery
2. using the super duper oil of olay all over and going through it in record time. holly might approve of this on the no-frownies front, but it's really because i'm all ashy from the skank and so i need face cream on my elbows.
3. being extremely indecisive.
4. using - no, NEEDING - my paper shredding time to keep from flipping out. road rage and people rage and work rage all add up to a fucking lot of rage. if you're an angry person, get yourself a massive shredder.
5. having entire days where i don't leave the house. not because i'm loafing, but because i can't think of a good reason to go anywhere and deal with people.
6. asking what kind of water they serve when dining out.

there are other things, too, but you get the idea. it's the little ways that make me feel the most disturbed; good thing i still ponder about hills in winter and give people an honest opinion when they ask for it. (oh yeah, you can just imagine how popular that forthright thing makes me.) sometimes it's difficult to tell if you've changed because time has passed or because you're stuck in a living purgatory, but i think i'll come out of this as my more familiar self. maybe i'll be just a bit more jaded and drive aggresively, but i'll still smile at strangers on the street.

shit, it's just great not to feel like crap when i wake up in the morning. then there's that whole jacket weather thing. i think i'm gonna like it here.