30 November 2007

happy soggy birthday to me

since derek had some work to get done and i wanted to be a crazy person for my birthday, we're in los angeles for the weekend. ah yes - a couple of days to enjoy the beach, take in the ambiance of it all, see some old friends. plenty of time to get some sun and walk around enjoying the sights. you know what? it's raining cats and dogs outside. every time the rain seems to let up for a minute, BAM! on comes another onslaught out of the sky. the catalyst of doom strikes again! welcome to sunny suckifornia.

he has to go and a do a thing with that guy today. my original plan was to head over to santa monica and stroll. since i have no umbrella (and i'm honestly not willing to make the meager investment for no good reason) it's a whole new plan. it's a mysterious plan. it's innovative and spontaneous. okay, so really, i have no idea what on earth the plan is anymore. all i know is we're supposed to be going out with tara and maegan later this evening. we'll just wing it from here and hopefully make it to dinner on time.

what i had for breakfast at the la quinta:
WAFFLES! of course.

05 October 2007

planes, trains, and automobiles

derek loves me so much that he's taking me on a trip with him! mais oui! he cannot live without my presence, and thus must whisk me away.

i was hoping for some crisp fall weather, but it appears that the indian summer is overtaking the entire country. boo. hiss. grrrrr. no matter. we'll be flying off to rhode island for the weekend and then catching a train to boston. derek has some work stuff for a few days and i can piddle to my heart's delight. (yes, i am quite aware that there is a fluevog store in boston. keep me away from it, please.) i'll try to keep from driving into new hampshire by accident this time, but with states that tiny out there... i just can't wrap my head around it. maybe some of you out west, where it's even more vast than here, can understand my amazement at this. how can one just drive into another state by accident? that is still so weird. just. so. weird.

we'll get to see some of our peeps while there, too! kim is coming from sacramento to show off her shoes - errr, i mean attend the conference. my friend brandon has started his senior year at harvard. jeez, i can hardly believe his time there has gone by so fast. when i met him, he was just an adorably cute and goofy kid in high school. now he's going to be a smarty pants harvard graduate. i can't wait to get a tour of the campus in cambridge from him. think you can get contact ivy-league-ness from being near too many of those students?

derek, in the meantime, has started to work out a little. he is getting just slightly addicted to DDR supernova (dance dance revolution on ps2, for those of you who didn't know) and gets his cardio in regularly now. finally! the video games are paying off for him in a healthy way! woooohoooooooo!!! the shit is funny as hell, too. i gave it a whack and was instantly reminded of the time i talked veronica into trying one out with me in an arcade. i danced and flailed. vee danced and flailed. we both ultimately fell off the damn thing in total spasms of shame, all the while having little kids who probably rocked that shit watching. would i do it again? you bet your booty i would. i've been trying to get veronica to get back on that horse ever since. we're short people. there's only so far we have to fall before we thud to the ground.

so off i go to pack for the trip. i'm not going to bring home any tacky doodads. i'm not really that sort. but maybe i'll pick up some postcards and look for some nice artwork to put on my walls at the new abode. here's to hoping i can leave john fluevog alone for a change.

derek's other new toy:
a shiny green roomba! he loves it. who knew it would be so easy to get him to vacuum the house nearly every single day? thank you, i-robot. three laws safe.

04 October 2007


there was a storm. the day commenced in the dark for me, riding along to work at the tip of sunrise. air all around hung heavy with the dewy moisture that sits before a truly wonderful thunderstorm. i drove with the windows all the way down and a wind smelling of morning and earth, the changing colors of the sky peeking at me over the side of the highway as the sun tried to hoist itself upwards.

each time i stepped outside for a break, the day seemed to become more and more sleepy with an autumn thickness as the sky filled with those moments that arrive before a storm. i was waiting. waiting. waiting. the humidity rushed in around me, caressing my neck, making me sweat just enough so that i couldn't help but want the rain to wash me clean. breezes would swing past the trees so as to make the leaves wave and giggle. it was like having an old friend hug you hello after so many months had passed.

i left work. i ran errands. i went to dinner. still, the rain refused to begin. how frustrating to spend so much time anticipating a thing you've missed. at last, on the way home, the clouds ripped open out of sheer force. great drops fell from the sky with a weight that slapped the windshield as i drove. i got home and watched from the balcony as sheets of water covered the city in a new start. suddenly, there it was - lightning! thunder! a sky creaking with great yawps and flashes as a pronouncement of the weather.

afterwards, i watched the clouds hang so low that they could have masqueraded as fog. in the dark of evening, the skyline of the city was glowing from the lights of the buildings downtown and the city looked as if it were on fire. the wind made the clouds scurry past in a rush as if they were late for some appointment, leaving behind the fresh aromas that follow the rain. random trains called out in the distance. night slowed everything down to a dreamy lull. i breathed it all in and closed my eyes with a thankful little smile. yes, this was the storm i had truly been waiting for since my arrival.

what i'm looking forward to next:
more AUTUMN! leaves! breezes! jackets!

01 October 2007

what's out there - the "here we are now" version

things i have seen lately:
wheelchairs in the drive-thru lane at taco bueno. it was pretty late and they had flashlights with them. there were two guys, and they popped wheelies as they sped off to get their food from the window. their chairs were going pretty fast.

my pants! i'm finally starting to locate some of the things that lurk in all these boxes. i also found my squeezy pig that bonnie sent me in the mail a couple of years ago. it's out in the living room where i can see the stamps on its side. that pig makes me happy.

a perfect gift for amy. if memory stands correct, the thing i bought is exactly what she asked me for before i left seattle. she's going to do a poster for my next show; all she wants in return is some thing i've picked out for her to be sent to her house. that seems like such a wonderful deal that i couldn't pass it up, though i would've gotten her this perfect gift anyway, just because. when you see something that reminds you of a person you like, you should make an effort.

travel plans for boston. soon i'll see my friend brandon, who lives cambridge. we hadn't seen one another in a couple of years. then i found out that i was working with his sister and that he was in town visiting before he went back to harvard. he's a great kid with a penchant for wailing out a simple "yaaaaayy!" at things that please him. like donuts. or hello kitty. or being around people he misses.

speaking of great kids, my brother jason was in town from south carolina, hanging out on leave before he went back to work on a nuclear reactor prototype thingy. it's funny to me, imagining him as a military sort of homer simpson. sector 7-G, anyone? he says it's not as complicated as everyone thinks, but i'm a little suspicious of that. i can barely cook chicken without killing us all in the process. nuclear whatnot is probably not the area of expertise i would be shooting for... in the interest of your safety.

the view from our new house. i must say, i do enjoy sitting on the balcony and piddling away for hours. there i am, reading microtrends or miranda july, drinking my coffee and smoking. or maybe i'm just staring, listening to the trains in the distance. most of all, it's mine. okay so maybe i share it with derek. but this part of the house belongs more to me. when we get done with the new wood floor i'm going to celebrate by buying a picket fence and some flamingos for my "yard" out there. like a sign that says i live here. a very tacky sign.

a faboo thing about my new job:
there is a bakery nearby that brings us free goodies on sundays. can we say spoiled or what? tonight i toted home some shortbread cookies, a box of granola, and challah bread. i won't even mention the frikkin awesome lavender cake that i shouldn't snack on any more or else i'll eat the whole damn thing. or maybe i will mention it - and revel in it. mmmmm... baked gooooods.

29 August 2007

mountain time zone travels

soooooo... monday night we got on our way.

yesterday we went through the rest of washington, oregon, idaho, and got a hotel in ogden. we're passing through utah into wyoming today! the cats are taking it pretty well and sniffing the hell outta each hotel room. going on the road with animals means toting lots of extra stuff into the room. they even have their own suitcase. we are once again reminded of what it must be like to have children.

i'm having waffles for breakfast every day. yes, the beloved (and often made fun of) la quinta provides you with more than just a mere "continental" piece of crap in the mornings. waffles! fruit! free internet connection! just in case you were wondering, they don't have a denny's next door to all of them.

more as we get up and get along...

what you should see:
the super cute and dorky movie on mary's blog that she made about the miracle washer she bought this year. it's proof that she uses soap every time.

27 August 2007

it's moving day again!

today we are moving to oklahoma. to be more specific, we're moving back to tulsa. if all goes to our plans we should be there sometime this weekend. no, NOT somewhere new, but like a whole new place after everything that's gone on in the past couple of years. we also bought property in honor of the occasion. oooo-weeee, a little condo to call our own! do we know how to raise a hubbub or what?

strange how it feels more like we're just moving to another city and not so much (as one might have expected) like going home. i can't wait to see what awaits us this time...

the last thing i'm going to pack:
toilet paper!

13 August 2007

the eddie izzard redemption

we went to the show tonight and had a faboo time. it was helpful for me to see someone with so much experience looking a bit uneasy. allow me to explain what i mean. see, the show is titled "work in progress" and you can tell the material is still shifting. as always with eddie izzard, you have a hard time telling when he's just stalling to remember the next thing or just milking the moment for as long as possible. maybe it's a combination of both, with some dabbling in variation throw into the mix to keep things fresh.

whatever the truth might be, it was a fun show and i'm forever happy about going and being one of the dorks who hung out at the stage door to meet him afterwards. in case you're wondering... no, i did NOT repeat the former humiliation. can you believe it?!?

as luck would have it, scott and i are working on a show right now. we've been working out some details and rehearsing over the phone for a few weeks now. (you can insert all the jokes about "phoning it in" here.) being that i'm directing scott in a one-man show, i thought it would be helpful to ask for advice about having to be all alone out there and keep people's attention for a long time. did i mention that eddie izzard's show was just over two hours with no intermission? i don't care who you are - that takes balls. i like people with balls. so we waited outside very patiently and were the very last people to talk to him before he headed off into the night with his peeps. derek got his ticket signed (if you give eddie izzard the choice of green or pink, he'll pick pink every time) while i chatted away. we exchanged some pleasantries and i got some decent reminders that you have to rehearse a lot, pump yourself up in the ego, and then just not care if people like you or not when you're in a performance. DUH. it's so simple and yet just what i had forgotten. here i thought i was just coming up with something to say that was less than asinine, and in the end it was just the thing to get him jabbering away like an idiot.

human quirkiness is a suit worn well by the best of us.

on the way to the car i did actually remark to derek out loud, "i think it was just really nice to see him look that uncomfortable on stage. that show was so fun." that's when my pal coo-winky-dink stepped in to play one more joke on me. as you can probably guess, he was walking right past us with his posse at the time. you fans will be happy to know that he had no fancy cars or hummer limos to take him away. just a walk down the block into the night. while i don't know if he heard me or not, i still looked up and did a slight double take and a hand-clamping-over-mouth giggle at realizing i was talking about the person walking right beside me. no, really. like just a few feet away. of course.

what can i say? it's a gift. at least i was paying a compliment without even knowing he was right there. (i've been less lucky on other occasions involving has-been celeb types, but that's one i'll tell you about another time.) AND we had an actual conversation this time with whole sentences instead of just a blurt followed by a staring contest. AND i got helpful advice in the process. whee!!!

what else you were wondering:
yes, we are moving again. soon. more on that later.

08 August 2007

random side notes - chapter fourteen

my computer has been acting weird lately. maybe it's just old and slow. after what happened to my ibook not so long ago, let's hope i'm not going to kill two computers in one year. my track record with technology is not that great. could i be subconsciously wounding computers because i'm a technophobe?

it's time to go to the office supply store (for the first time in a long while) and restock on some essential items. yay. happy happy place!

i am no longer allowed to watch the news. today? armed bank robbery around the corner. funny how i didn't even hear about it until tonight. watching television news is an oddity for me anyway. i gave it up after the great CNN binge of 9/11 and all the sensory overload that provided. news on tv is just too much for me. from now on i'll go back to my old ways and stick to print/web or radio news.

this evening i had a feng shui attack and started going through our stuff. derek needs to just go with it when i'm in the mood to streamline. just because i start randomly yelling about what i'm doing ("WHY do we have three tape measures?!?") doesn't mean i'm yelling at him. i just like to express myself. really. stimpy, don't take it personally. i'm only venting about tools and stuff so that i won't bitch about everything else in the world.

this week is bedlam in general. so far.

my friend quyen is moving to michigan next week. my friend laura is moving to oregon the week after that. there are so many changes in the air.

redemption! we got tickets to see eddie izzard's "work in progress" for this sunday. i'm already practicing things i can say to avoid a repeat of the last time. true, i may sound less like an idiot if more fully prepared, but i'll always cherish what has now come to be known as the "eddie izzard incident" in my life. maybe i should just go with it and dork out this time as well. here's to promising a full report to you after the show...

i feel for both milana and bonnie. it's hard to lose a cat. no, you are not crazy for crying and whimpering and caring so much about the loss of a loved one that has been such a big part of the family. just because it's a cat (or dog or whatever happens to anyone out there) doesn't make it hurt any less.

what derek won't admit:
he likes ben stiller... and brussel sprouts

06 August 2007

this is my boyfriend-type-thingy

while i was chatting with rhiannon this weekend, we were discussing some of the more interesting crime statistics and happenings from each of our areas. the fact that there were so many things that have "slipped my mind" to tell about led her to informing me that i am officially desensitized to big city crime. you know what the worst part of that is? she could actually be right. not that she spends all of her time being wrong, but the point made here was startling enough to worry me.

does it seem normal to have shootings just outside the doors of your building at work, or for the swat team to be down the block and you strangely forget to wonder what it's about? do you automatically assume that "oh, for pete's sake, it's just some fucking junkie" whenever someone is trying to get your attention on the street? are there people setting up residence in your yard while police shootouts are occurring along the next block right by the private university? does it bother you so little that all of this is going on around you that you just deal with it and still get out there with the ability to put your blinders on and ignore it all? above all... are these considered the good and fashionable neighborhoods for yuppies in your city?

yes, she might be right on this one. but i do hate to focus on the negative all the time. yes, it's true that i'm a hardcore complainer, that bitching is my cardio, but that's something completely different. on the whole i do try to maintain some stumbling sense of gracious forward momentum in my psyche.

living here is beginning to seem like a fling. there were things i loved about more than one of my old boyfriend-types. the thing is, i didn't really love them in the whole. even if they did, i knew they would never love me back. which is a fine and good thing, because it let us both go on to something else. yeah, come to think of it, i even had plenty of old boyfriend-types that didn't even end badly AT ALL. we both knew what was going on - or rather, what wasn't going on for either of us. we just let it fizzle out so we could awkwardly exit the relationship at the end without bad feelings or confrontation. and there really are other fish in the sea.

on occasions when we've run into one another afterwards, it's almost always good to see them again. i am happy if things are going well for them, and glad that we each moved on with our lives instead of trying to make a future where there wasn't one.

this is also sort of how i feel about my current residence. it's not a bad person, really, but we're not right for each other and i don't see a future together. why drag it out, right? i should just let it go on its way and find someone who loves it just the way it is. we'll see each other again, when i can smile and nod, being happy that it's gone on successfully without me. my ego can withstand the thought that i am definitely not "the one that got away" here. oh, i might have a pensive moment where i wonder how it's doing. maybe i'll sigh and laugh a little thinking of the great times we had together until it became apparent that things weren't working out the way we had planned. i'll remember why we broke up, but strive to not speak with any malice when reminiscing about our time together.

the real love of my life is derek anyway. where he goes, i will follow. am i a bad feminist for this? nahhh. fuck that noise. i'm kind of enjoying making him be the manly man in this. let him spend some time bringing home the bacon. i'll bring home the bacon bits. and goodness knows i've dragged his ass all over the country on a whim before. more than once.

mmmmmmm, bacon.

the goofiest site i visited this weekend:

29 July 2007

sidney poitier doing the grocery shopping will always be my idol, but...

when i grow up, i think i want to be michael caine. so does holly. we've decided to make him our shining beacon of light in the world. when are sidney and caine going to do us all a favor and make a super-fun buddy movie together? it could be sort of like "priscilla, queen of the desert" with someone like de niro or walken thrown in just for laughs. it's like i always say: every show needs a number. they could totally do a little song and dance together. yep yep yep, that would be heaven on feeeeelm.

this week has been spent in waiting. we are waiting for the "moment of clarity" to arrive and tell us what to do and when to do it. you know how it goes, right? you toss around in bed for several nights with no sleep trying to figure out your life. you wince through every day in exhaustion for no good reason until you collapse into an impenetrable slumber. you recover just enough stamina to go on with normal life. one morning at about 4 a.m. (or your personal equivalent of said time in the sleep cycle) you wake up with a start, talk to yourself in total clarity, and then go back to sleep. you're resting like you never have before because everything has suddenly come together for you. this is the precise moment where the big change in your life decides to begin without fear or regret. this is the obstacle you've been looking to hurdle over in order to get on with getting on with it. most importantly, this is the few essential seconds that make you feel more at ease in the coming weeks each time you think you might be doubting yourself. the only agony is in waiting for it to appear.

woe to me. all this twiddling of my brain makes me confused and whiny. oh how i hate that side of myself. whining is one of the least attractive qualities in a voice, and even worse when that voice is inside your own head. surely i'm not the only person around who bemoans the fact that they have more choices than they rightfully should and ends up getting in a tizzy over them. how spoiled of me. as some of you have heard me mutter before when i'm feeling anxious, "coffee, coffee, coffee..." that sentiment covers it for now.

speaking of scooby doo, i heart pop culture. references from bad eighties communist movies are the best, aren't they? don't ask me to explain. i might have to out even more of my extremely bad taste in late night cable. better to let me have the guise of the highbrow once in a while. besides, you can figure it out if you try hard enough. hehehehehehe.

today's random poll:
so what are YOUR top three michael caine movies?

27 July 2007

job interviews still suck

remember how much i hate to make decisions? not so much the ones that are of the ho-hum variety, or even the completely drastic ones (like moving states on a coin flip) are the ones that bother me the most. it's the things that just seem as if they could change your life completely, but are really just the transistions of life. sure, they do have the ability to change things in a radical way, but they could just as easily end up being kinda inconsequential. those are the sucky decisions to make. they irk me. they make me feel icky and depressed. they bug me when they really shouldn't cut into my day. i hate making decisions like that.

ugh ugh ugh. so i made an exception on this type of decision for once and applied for the promotion. this afternoon i even had an interview. how did it go? job interviews do not normally go all that well for me. i spend a good deal of the time feeling fake and humiliated, only to be tortured in the end by my own anxiety and leaving the interview wanting to go home and crawl into bed. most of the time i exactly that afterwards. this was a step up in that the panel (did i mention there were three of them?) already knew me and my work style, thus sparing me the judgment of an awful first impression. it also helped to know that the worst thing to happen would be that i just keep my current job, which i actually like, and go on from there knowing that i at least gave it a shot. in short, i had nothing to lose.

we'll see how the chips fall and i'll go from there. it's nice to know that - for a change - making a decision still gives me a variety of options. how odd, right? i still hate making those kinds of decisions. i still hate job interviews. i still make myself fret needlessly and end up being wiggy. blech. BUT... it's important to push yourself when you don't think you have any idea what you're doing. i know what eleanor roosevelt would tell me, and she always was a pretty hip chick.

what i watch when i need to let it all out:

20 July 2007

things i likee likee and things that make me barf-o-licious

cookies. any questions? didn't think so.
being made to take off shoes upon entering a house. WHY?!?
flipping through random books and magazines - woohoo!
sweating. blech, no fun.
buying cheap original artwork inspires me.
making decisions? BOOOOO, HISS.
sleeping in late for a change makes me smile.
harry potter = yuck.
RARE STEAK... yay!
my kitties. you know i love them, but i wish they would stop laying on me in the middle of he night when i'm already sweating like a fat girl with the vapors. get off my pillow, please. no. really. i mean it. pu-llllease. you are warm, kitties. really really warm. get off my freaking head while i'm trying to sleep.

which parts of my body are asleep right now:
my right thigh and left foot and calf. oh, the pain. they're waking up and it hurts. pins and needles! AARRRGGGHHHH!!!!

18 July 2007

attack of the waffle

move to a new place, stay here and don't pack.
go to bed early, stay up late.
keep my red hair, dye it darker again.
apply for a promotion, keep my same job.
buy a house, don't buy a house.
get motivated, sit in a lifeless puddle.
vote for someone i don't like, vote against someone i don't like.
paper, plastic.

does anyone have a coin i can borrow?

my latest dorky purchases:
the cute book!
bossy bear
liquid stitch

15 July 2007

the veronica episode, the midget brigade, and the return of the spice girls

hi there.

my name is george and this is the little spot where i spout away about all the self-indulgent "feeeeelings" and stuff like that which rule my life. no no no... that's not right. this is the place where i post photos of me with my new hair and you shout "ooh la la isn't she pretty?" in amazement and delight. wait, that isn't it either, is it? hmph. this could be the spot where i give an update about stoopid shit in my life and make a few witty observations here and there so that my peeps who live far away can say hi from time to time without having to actually commit to much more than a comment box, since you're probably reading it when i'm asleep anyway, but i know that you really did want to say hello.

yes, that one sounds good. it's hard to remember after such a long absence. really, i'm here and you're there and i'm not dangling off a bridge or anything drastic like that, but you'll probably once again browse this while i'm asleep. or perhaps while i'm at work. in any case, i am still here. so hi there back.

major events of the last month:
  • veronica and travis were here - yayayayayayayayay!!! we were cheesiness personified on our foray into touristy stuff. the gum wall inspires awe in all who see it. the ducks were divine. we looked for cheese-on-a-stick to no avail, but did manage to stuff them with lots of good F-U-D anyway. like mary, they were unimpressed with the space needle. thank goodness no one who comes here to see us wants to go up in that stupid thing.
  • people decided to blow up fireworks across the street from our house. this would have been fine for a while, but TWO HOURS? it scared the cats, and the police were no fucking help since they took over an hour to get here and rolled up about ten minutes after the jerkoffs finally went away. fuckers... all of them.
  • i had my life threatened at work. a crazy lady wanted to shank me in the eyeball with a ballpoint pen. other than the obvious shock value of it all, the whole situation was strangely uneventful. i'm considering asking for combat pay one of these days. oh, and did i mention that i still hate junkies? the potential shanker wasn't a junkie - merely totally insane - but i thought i should just reiterate that point since there are so many of them lurking in the area.
  • the little peoples' association had their national conference in the area, so there was some good midget spotting going on that week. one of my coworkers thought i was going to bust a gut with excitement at the banker-type-looking scottish midget who came in one day. midget invasion! eee!
  • there is an opportunity for me to possibly get a promotion at work. it's still undecided as to whether i'm really going to try for it or not, but it's under consideration. on the one hand, i could get paid more. on the other hand, i might have to act like a responsible person at work. like, on purpose. not just because i have good work ethic and shit. blech, quelle dilemma.
  • alice and milana and me (or is it i? for fuck's sake, i can never remember the me vs. i rules anymore. someone help me out here please.) went to see "harry and the potters" in concert this weekend. if you've never experienced this phenomenon, check and see if they're coming to a library near you. while i am not personally a harry potter person, it's a real sight to see that's worth the time and effort.
  • rumour has it the spice girls are getting back together. wheee!

as far as the rest of life, it's a blur of the everyday. did YOU see scott baio is 45... and single on vh1 yet? oh you must simply must see it. more "so bad it's good - no wait, it's fucking awesome!" programming from the channel that knows our inner demons even better than we do. life around the apartment is ho-hum and okey dokey. i think that derek's world of warcraft addiction has subsided a bit. at least he looks at me and speaks to me in full sentences again. he works, i work, the cats sleep. you know, normal stuff.

surely something will happen this week. it tends to fall that way for me. i'll give you the update if i have to do any takedowns or mow people down on the road.

21 June 2007

i might pee

under the cover of night we are about to head off to the airport to pick up our weary travellers. hmmm, wonder if andy brought them a kit-kat while they were stopped over in the san jose airport. they'll be here any minute now, any second, any millsecond. eee!

today at work we were talking about tron. the people i work with come in a wide variety of ages, and so i posed the infamouse paula question: "who is older... you or tron?" it's one of those things that created a chasm of cultural divide. being on the older-than-tron side of things (which is from 1983, in case you were wondering) also led me to remember other things that i am older than in pop culture.

hair mousse
hypercolor shirts

yes, the list could go on forever, especially from a kitsch queen such as myself. or is that liz? she ALWAYS seems to recall the random tidbits about who was what was oh my god holy shit really in what was going on. next time we're together, i'll have to challenge her and rhiannon to a useless fact marathon. fuck jeopardy. i want to enter the world series of pop culture with those two on my team. it's only fair that one day all this trivia should pay off for us.

the next phrase you should google:
99 words for boobs

20 June 2007

v+t = happiness, or andy summers is bringing up the rear

no no no, it is NOT yet another post about a concert i saw sooooooo long ago. on the other hand, how could i leave out a member of the not-holy trinity in naming my posts? besides, he was wearing an "oh my god they killed kenny!" guitar strap during the show that made him simply adorable. and yes, he still totally rocks like a hurricane.

i don't think he's from this planet.

is it wednesday yet? is it?!? that's when veronica and travis are coming to visit! i've been waiting what seems like ages for this. right after the police countdown ended, the veronica countdown began. jeez, we do have an awful lot of excitement in this house lately. what are we going to do when july comes and there's nothing to look forward to anymore? woe to me and my need for upcoming events.

i'll have to bribe someone else to come and visit. there are at least a few of you out there who like small spaces, lots of cats, and 60 degree weather in june. we already know you love me and derek. we're good people with a tiny flippy couch for you to sleep on and we always keep good lotion around the house. since getting my magic haircut i've been learning how to cook some more; promise you won't throw up or anything. how's that for tempting?

we luckily have some tickets to do free stuff and i'm so very excited about just getting to hang out and be cool. that's most of what having my peeps coming to visit is about to me. we've had a feng shui attack on the house... as if she's never seen our place in total havoc. i'm taking off the rest of the week once they get here so that pesky work thing won't get in the way. maybe we can force derek to take lots of goofy photos. there is definitely a trip to target in the works. of course you know that shopping for socks and kleenex with vee counts as sightseeing in my book.

george's tip of the day:
don't ever have just prunes and coffee for breakfast. they'll cut into your work day like nobody's business.

11 June 2007

that's my soul up there... or, sting is a floppy twat

another brief police note:
in honor of derek, let it be said that sting is a jazzy artfag. he is the kind of musician that takes lemons and makes a marmalade chock full of zest. during the show this week, we were ready for some rockin' when it came to some of the police's most famous songs. i'm all for improvisation and updating, but there were a few things that could've been more interesting. the most hurtful one for derek was the strangest fucking version of "roxanne" in the world, that you can probably google or youtube at your leisure. if memory serves me, derek's spleen began to cry about halfway through the neverending masturbation of sound that was the so-called update. let's all take a moment and bow our heads to derek's innards and their pain.

oh, and sting flounces around like an eight year old girl. who is high on halloween candy. and wearing a bright pink tutu for her first dance recital. just so you know. sex appeal is a very bizarre thing. really.... flounced. like, all fluffy like and stuff. that man shakes his hips like a sex trade prostitute who would suck a dick just for a bazooka joe comic.

now that your disturbing mental images are hurting you on the inside, i can tell about the absolute nuttiest formula one race that we watched today. this year's canadian grand prix! while i'm pretty sure i wouldn't be ruining anything for anyone i know, it would be rude to bore you with all the details. what i can say is that the snooze-o-rama that was monte carlo has been redeemed in spades. we're fairly giddy with anticipation to see what happens next.

on the real estate front, we had a productive fact-finding mission today. we only ran away screaming like banshees on fire about... fifty times so far. ahh yes. isn't it fun to look for a place to live that you can call your own? of course, once you find that perfect hovel, you can then commence all the worrying that goes with it about wall colors and insurance and whether or not you're in the ghetto and no one told you. how i look forward to fretting for no apparent reason about why we don't have a garden hose. (perhaps because we've been apartment living it for most of our adult lives?) and who knows how i've lived this long without obsessing over a billion mortgage details. is this fun or what? no wonder some people would rather hop couches and keep all their stuff in a storage locker.

nevertheless, there are a few front runners - mostly in figuring out what we're looking for in a home - amongst what we've seen and some parameters have most assuredly been defined. ever notice how it's sometimes easier to figure out what you DON'T want before you can figure out what you really do want? go ahead. ask me what i want. uhhhhhh... duhhhhhhhh... hmmmmm.... welll.... lemme think about it. now ask me what i don't want. doubtful you'd have time for that conversation. i wish i knew why it works that way.

if you can explain that one, maybe you can clue me in as to why my new haircut is giving me superspowers. i can cook! i'm way funnier! i can be decisive! i want to be active and eat better food! i'm a teensy bit motivated! i feel so much more like me again! let's hold off "sixth grade self" for as long as possible, shall we? she's been bumming me out with all her confusion and whining. and let's definitely not invite her the next time we have a party. le sigh. we should all be so lucky to get magic haircuts.

random fact about me:
i hate toenails. they're yucky and odd. eww.

09 June 2007

the week that fizzes... or, let's all welcome stewart copeland to catholic drumming mass

okay, so i know you've all been waiting for the reviews of my exciting week. between the police and laurie and deciding what to eat or wear each day, i am expectedly all kerfuffled. we're going out to do some more real estate time tomorrow as well. it's all so dizzying.

about the police:
all i can say is, i had a freaking great time. the fancy party before the show had an open bar and foofoo stuff to eat. i had salmon rolls with caviar and prime rib for dinner. and oh, the fancy cheeses! let's just say that i'm not afraid to make a pig of myself in public. the party also had a special washroom not open to anyone else, because important people need and important toilet. they gave us little doodads that were "special VIP gifts" including a leather case and big gaudy badges. yes, i have taken it off since the show without even sleeping in it, in case you were wondering.

we made our way into the arena for the show after all that food and drink. so how were the police? they've been completely de-icon-ized for me, and the tour must be very humanizing for them. hey julie, remember giving me notes like "don't warm up on stage" when you were directing me? I GET IT NOW. in spite of that, they were a hoot to watch, and stewart was the main attraction. he did a lot of sprinting between a billion percussion instruments and looked like he was having the time of his life! there was so much standing and sitting going on that i was just waiting for him to pull out kneepads and incense while doing a drive-by transubstantiation. the flubs and oddities were met with a sense of humour by the band to the point of being endearing. which is not quite as coolly hilarious as a highly anticipated fistfight involving three guys heading for hip replacements would have been, but fucking fantabulous nonetheless.

sting's son and his peeps (sting's son singing and on bass, a squinty guy on guitar, and a flailing drummer - sound familiar?) opened for the police. they actually weren't bad at all. their band is called fiction plane, but really, let's wait and see if they're just more than just "son of sting" before you get all hepped up on them, okay? a friendly bunch who DID meet fans to sign stuff (take a hint there, you old geezers) and at least they waved at us and said hi when they were leaving.

no, we did not get to meet them, but the tour bus drove past my living room this morning as i was leaving for work. it was them on that bus. never mind that there were, like, four billion tour busses out behind the arena. this one was all alone, so it HAD to be them. and that's my story on that one, because sting and andy and stewart drove down my street on the way outta town and that's the way it is. got it??!?

more about laurie:
she rocks, as you know by now. me and alice and her boy went out to lunch in the market the day after the previously mentioned hubbub. as we turned the corner with gyros, we heard a familiar voice yelling "hey there guys!" laurie popped out of the crowd like a magical party favor. in a city of millions, leave it to me to find people i already know while randomly wandering. we had a good talk about this and that before she went on her mission to the cheese shop. hey, i knew i liked this woman for a reason. she is totally one of us.

and p.s. she wasn't being trapped at a book signing or anything, so i know she wasn't just being cordial this time. she was willingly speaking to me. it's always a relief to realize that you didn't come off as a total freak upon your first meeting with a person.

what happens when i don't work:
remember my long black hair? enjoy that picture of me in your head. now think of my hair as bright red and rosemary's baby style. now get jealous because i can wash and dry my hair in about five minutes. i was walking home from lunch/fancy vog shoe shopping with linda when the "get rid of this crap" impulse overtook me. the first place i called was too busy, so i walked into another joint that just happened to have a cancellation. lucky me! new hair AND a leisurely lunch AND the police all on the same day.

it's now wonder i had to sleep in on thursday. and what a treat to be able to go and hang out with bonnie and pets. she filled me with chicken fried steak and hashbrowns until i had to flop about on her couch for hours in happiness while rearranging otter's dog pillow. liz, you would be proud of me for easily pilling her cat snippy.

i think i am officially exhausted with excitement. or from excitement. or just exhausted after going to work for an entire day today. i'm even hopeful about looking for a house. who the hell am i?!?!

what i'm going to do now:
lay on the floor and pass out with the cats

05 June 2007

the sap drips on

holy shit. fucking rose-colored glasses.

yes, i went to the book thing tonight. yes, laurie notaro is way cool. yes, i did meet her earlier in the day as well and got to chat (well, i was doing my normal meeting new people mindless babbling thing) with her for some time about random crap. yes, you must buy her new book and make other people do the same. yes, she also did something wonderful for veronica.

better than that, veronica was so happy about the whole thing, and the underpants we sent her last week after an unfortunate criminal incident involving her unmentionables, that she called me at work to spread even more glee. can't. process. happiness.

seriously, i have no idea how to just sit here and be happy. what the fuck does one do with a GOOD DAY? it is so much easier to run around putting out fires than to be on the lookout for new ones to start. at least you know where the blaze is coming from when it's already burning, as sick as that might sound. i'm not emotionally prepared for this kind of trauma. like, a really smoothly running, nobody bothering the piss out of me, no bad news to deal with or hard decisions to make kind of day. QUOI?!? as one former big floppy pants hip hop guy might put it: stop - stammer time!

you're singing it now, aren't you? i bet you're even thinking about doing that little dance and humming the sampled bass line while flinging yourself around the living room. i can see you bobbing your head around and swishing your shoulders back and forth already. don't be ashamed. be proud of your guilty pleasures and give in to the urge. i'm doing the same thing. it must be time to get up and dance.

before i forget:
two more days! (you're singing roxanne now, aren't you? you sound great!)

04 June 2007

more midget mania... and other things

holly will be jealous. we have a challenge to her perennial win on our now infamous sport of midget sightings. me and derek saw a midget fat lady gypsy pirate. damn that she moved past us too quickly to get a photo! speaking of photos, derek should be putting up some from our latest mini-trip very soon, including some parade pictures.

more parades should be during the nighttime. we went to the starlight parade in portland last night, where we saw the aforementioned midget, and greatly enjoyed seeing lots of tubas decked out in glowy string stuff. it was definitely much better than sweating and stinking through a parade held at high noon while the sun is blinding us all and the dogs in the parade (and i mean literal dogs - not like just stinky weirdos or anything) look like they're going to expire. no one wants to see that.

did you know that they sell pet insurance with a "self-mutilation" clause? people really must be screwing up their pets these days to give them so much anxiety that they hurt themselves to get attention. ugh. listen to your pets before they wig out on you.

what do i wear on wednesday? what do i wear?!?! it's coming down to the wire on the police and it's almost time to start freaking out. no no no, i won't do it. wait a second. hell yeah, i sure will. freaking out!

speaking of losing my mind... we went house hunting while we were driving around this weekend. poor derek drove endlessly while i spied for any hint of a for sale sign everywhere we went. it was like being in real estate prison. this must be what it's like to have that baby fever feeling when your biological clock is ticking, only we're not having any babies. we're just driving. and driving. and we're beat. can i just come live with you?

wow. i think my voodoo donut high is starting to wear off. mmmm, mango jelly with tang on top is just what i needed to start my day.

what i googled this week:
best alternative songs 1987
it hit me while i was listening to an old book of love album that 1987 was the year i started going out clubbing in the afterhours. am i really this old? is my music really this old? is that a dumb question considering the concert this week?

02 June 2007

random side notes - chapter thirteen

we are now on the police countdown. only five more days! am i going to start each day this way? yup. you should really google "stewart copeland review" if you want a good laugh. it's refreshing to hear someone tell you how an iconic band can suckity suck if they try hard enough.

did i mention that i got a new book? laurie notaro of idiot girl fame put out her first novel this week. drooooool.i've started on it and plan to spend some good reading time with myself and laurie this weekend. yes, veronica, i will go to the thingy she's doing on monday and get a book signed for you. of course i will.

big whoops to mary for thinking that i had real estate "baby fever" before she did. she and tim just got lucky and had excellent timing to find their wonderful place. they also didn't keep on moving all over the country, which probably put them at an advantage when it came to narrowing down a good neighborhood. it really is a terrific house. you should go and see them sometime. they have a guest room, ya know. mary will even give you a whole bathroom to yourself and your very own set of bandages in case you get a boo boo.

i can work a mean blender, but my cooking skills are still in arrested development. derek has figured out the secrets of our favorite ethiopian dish. yay! yum! wheee! by contrast, i have figured out the secrets of a peanut butter & banana health shake. it's like spackled-gooey goodness. mmmmmm...

the next countdown begins now. only 19 more days until veronica and travis arrive in seattle for a visit! life gets a little easier when i have something to look forward to and remember how to count. both of those things are helpful. we are preparing plans filled with dorky ass tourist stuff to do. wanna ride the ducks with us?

derek has on sheepy underpants. baaa. baaa.

my artistic inspiration has gone awol as of late. ka-put. gone. sayonara, lightbulbs. perhaps it's buried somewhere beneath all the crap on my table. beneath the cat butts that splay themselves across my workspace. beneath the random crap that i throw around on my crafty area. seeing how we have visitors on the way soon, i should get my space cleaned up and get off my creative booty. ugh - just sitting down to blurb is sapping me right now, but i will push through and get going again.

breakfast is the most important meal of the day. they're not kidding when they tell you that. they don't mean that it has to be the biggest meal of the day. it just has to be there for you, pushing you past that kerfuffled time before lunch when you'd like to poke someone in the eyeball. remember that the next time you're wondering why you're dizzy and about to pass out "for no reason" later on in the day. not that it happened to me or anything. duh. i don't care what the olsen twins fucking think; coffee will only take you so far. a little yogurt can let your tummy stand an extra cup or four of joe without feeling icky.

epiphanetic doodad goals of the week:
besides cleaning the desk? sketch a bit, write a haiku, send out a few postcards to my far-off, far-out peeps. if i get super motivated i might even find the time to dye my hair. hey! that counts!

31 May 2007

calling this meeting of the pissers to order

a while back, some of us online people formed an unofficial group of rabblerousing compainers called pissers. every now and then i remember why we did it.

after reading liz's WTF wednesday posting, something hit me. besides having to pull my eyes back down to their proper level because i had rolled them so much while sighing meaningfully that they finally just stuck that way, it became obvious that a stew was brewing. a stew filled with piss. no, not actual piss - just pissiness. disgruntled WTF pissiness.

then something else hit me. it was almost oddly enjoyable. see, here's the thing - i like getting pissed off. i like telling people to piss off. if they don't like it, well then piss on them. pissing and moaning is also a great hobby. maybe the word piss is the new fuck. like how i love to say "fucking fuckers" when people piss me off. i feel a certain fondness for saying "piss" on its own as an expletive. (or does it count as an interjection? maybe it's both! woohoooo!) i even feel gleeful when it's just the tamer "pee!" that i often belt out when i drop stuff at work.

so piss on this. piss on that. piss piss piss. gee, being disgruntled can be soothing and productive. who else wants to be a pisser with us? wanna join? you just gotta be pissy enough.

28 May 2007

compassion is soooooo unfair

how can i spend my time hating everyone when people are suddenly doing things that are kinda... well, a little bit, sort of... nice? what a fucking bitch that is for someone like me who has almost totally lost faith in other people. how the hell does one deal with the rekindling of common decency?!?

good things that have happened this week:
1. veronica bought plane tickets - she and her maaaaan are coming to see us (very soon) out here at the end of the world!
2. bacon sent me a postcard - this is a really big deal because, not only is she deathly afraid of the post office, but the postie was from overseas. wow. she went to a FOREIGN post office for us.
3. a "real change hobo" (the homeless people that sell the newspapers so they're actually doing some work and not just shaking cups at people) helped me carry groceries to the car. yes, of course i bought a paper and gave her a tip. she was working. on top of that, she honestly looked surprised and explained that no she had not helped me just so i would do that. how could i even begin to resist, though?
4. got a package from julie with a 25th anniversary heller shirt. just when i thought i had become but a mere memory in the arts, i feel like i still exist. yay.
5. one of derek's home-school friends, dorothy, went to brunch with us today. she was so overwhelmed by some good advice that she decided to buy all of our meals.
6. i'm getting a three day weekend. no, seriously. three whole days in a row that i don't have to go to work or deal with anybody's crap or be nice just to get paid. it's hard to remember the last time i had a job that gave me three whole days off in a row without begging for it. AND i'm even getting paid for not working on memorial day! this may sound dumb to some people, but it's a total first for me.
7. alice offered to give us exactly the new bed frame that we had considered buying a few months ago. for free!
8. linda let me cook her dinner and she ate all of it. not just to be polite. she liked it. it was edible, even if i hadn't given her wine. really. i even flipped stuff around in the pan without any major injuries.
9. mary just listened to me whine for, like, oh, an hour.

it's amazing how a person can get so used to people being abusive, negligent, entitled, oblivious, or just plain rude. the even more amazing part is how shocking a week filled with simple compassion can bring you to your knees. i must admit, the chain of events going on this week has certainly made it easier for me to be more... positive is defitinitely not the right word here. i am, after all, me. grumbling is a sport in my world. perhaps hopeful? ewwww. that's still kind of a lie, too. maybe it's just sort of easier to see possibilities. i like possibilities.

that's probably why i try foods that i know i don't like. if you'd asked me about sushi a few short years ago, you'd have seen a skrinkled up face and hear someone saying "no no no!!!" these days i get cravings for it. even derek has conquered his fears of both spinach and tomatoes, if only on a limited basis. hey, he's willing - i can't fault him for still being picky at this point. maybe i'll eat chocolate with joy someday. there is always a possibility.

but i still don't think i'm going to stop my grumbling and disgruntledness. what would i do for my cardio if i weren't constantly bitching?

media consumptions of the week:
movie - keeping up with the steins
book - weird ideas that work
music - pink martini
web - craigslist overload, idiotgirls.com
magazines - f1 racing, ok!

24 May 2007

it's not that i don't want to talk to you...

each time i mean to call someone lately - because i DO mean to call people on occasion -
there seems to be an impediment. most days i come home from work and keep meaning to call friends. then it happens: a quick stop in the living room to relax for a minute followed by a super bubba sleeper hold. next thing i know, hours have passed and i've been drooling on the mini sofa with the cats. my nap time is totally interfering with my social life.

besides that, there is the time zone thing. it's two or three hours later in the cities i want to call,
so by the time i get back up and remember who i was supposed to be on the phone with, it's way too late there. sheesh, i'm a shitty friend. and an insomniac the rest of the time. that's probably because i sleep when i'm not supposed to and don't sleep when i'm supposed to be sleeping.

nap. stay up late. go to work early. get tired. nap.

it's a vicious circle that should clear itself up on the weekends. it should, right? you'd think so, wouldn't you? beh, i know i should just "go to bed early" once in a while to try and get everything back in order. that would seem to be the solution, if only my body would cooperate. damn weird body.

so, since i've missed calling the people i was going to call, let me say congratulations to mary and tim on their new house. let me say that i'm excited about veronica's upcoming visit. let me say hello to everyone else who i haven't been calling because i'm asleep at odd times. and let me say that i'm grateful for holly's corresponding insomnia. without it i would surely never to talk any of my people.

i'll call you later. really, i will. zzzzzz.....

the best thing we did this week:
cut off a ferrari in traffic because he was was going too slow and yapping away on his ferrari-logo-emblazened cell phone (i kid you not) and trying to look cool. but we were way cooler in the bug. go bug go!!!

22 May 2007

short little note

did you know that this place has an entire weekend festival devoted to cheese? holy crap! it's all about the cheese!!! we went for a very brief drive by, only to be overwhelmed by the massive crowds in the market. beh, we don't need no stinking festical weekend. we already know of one or two different places around to get the good stuff. don't you worry about me and my cheese supply.

there is one thing i must say: i love the tv show heroes. it frikkin' makes me cry. yes yes, we know how many things - most things, really - make me cry; let's not go to that special cool runnings spot this evening. (and let's not talk about that next top model finale, either.) heroes is different. we just watched the finale of the season and wow. wow wow wow! that's all i can say.

what i'm looking forward to:
the police!
laurie notaro's new book
hogging the bed

19 May 2007

shoe meditations

oh goodness, help me help me
for i am becoming a (fancy) shoe whore
temptation smirks at me
shoe demons be gone!

let me just say one thing in my own defense. we found two spiffy pairs of shoes for derek, both on sale, including a pair of boots for when his toesies get cold. it's all about him. yeah that's right, he is dah maaaaan. AND we got a really good deal. like, no, really, i mean it. like it would make you scream if you knew. i already did. seriously.

maybe i shouldn't have gone to the fluevog party. you know what? i'm a VIP - i can't help myself! as ugly betty might say, "i've never even been an IP before." so there we were, having a great time just innocently socializing and browsing. they had a spread of veggies and meats and cheeses that gave me an entire meal! they fed me cookies and gave me sodie pop. our friend milana met us there and we all felt extra posh as stevenson and roland waited on us like we were movie stars. hey, so what if i know them by name?!? i'll tell you one thing about those vog stores: they make you feel super fancy without ever being snotty in the least.

next thing i knew, someone named sandra stared me down with those little pink eyes and that cappucino body. she wouldn't relent until i caressed her and walked all over her. she cooed and cuddled. she slinked around with a certain prancing effervescence. she begged me call her my own, threatening to stalk me until the end of days. there was simply no way to shake that sweet gaze and alluring figure without having massive regrets. she called to me just one last time, beckoning to me, "take me with you and i'll put the whole world at your feet."

what's a girl to do, eh? she's with me this very second, massaging my toes and telling me how i'm the pretty pretty princess of the world. purrrrrrrr. she is the butter on my potato, baby. me and my fresh new vogs are going to be very happy together.

seredipitous themes this week:
the go-go's

17 May 2007

has it really been that long?

so i took a break. not a "woe to me, i am soooooooo depressed" break this time, but just a break from my rambling. it just so happened that i didn't have much to say. work, eat, sleep, blah blah bitty blah. to and fro, to and fro. like grover says: now i am near... and now i am far. it was grover, wasn't it?

since i've been so neglectful in posting anything cool, mary has been holding the GIRLFEST '07 photos hostage. are ya happy now mary? are you?!?! HUH?!? ARE YOU?!?! (fine fine, i know she's actually just busy as hell with the moving thing) my camera wasn't charged before i left seattle and i then got too lazy to take any pictures when i stopped off in tulsa. ah, but the memories. if you haven't sat around watching something like "sisterhood of the travelling pants" with some good friends while snacking with a vengeance, you haven't properly lived.

let's see, has anything else special happened? oh yeah, there is that one little thing. derek and i spent the weekend in celebration of our fifteenth anniversary together. yes, you did read that right. and what, you ask, could one do for such a fantabulous occasion? why, they dig out their long lost entertainment book and go coupon happy! we had so much buy one get one free action going on that i think we've finally become one person. adding nerdiness to frugality, we whipped out our aaa card at the drop of a hat. "excuse me, but does THIS make any difference in the total?" we are the cheapest bastards in the universe. last year we did free stuff, the year before that we used it as a tax deduction for business, and next year you can probably bet that we're headed straight for the early bird special. or maybe just happy hour.

free or cheap stuff we did this weekend:
seattle storm basketball game
wa state history museum
nachos! nachos! nachos!
stared at hamsters at the pet store
played pool with friends
sci-fi museum
experience music project
dick's drive-in

fif-frikkin-teen. yep, the sci-fi museum was definitely the place to go for that. i saw captain kirk's old chair!!!

in other news, we're cruising for a bigger place come september. our window-ridden apartment is cute and cozy, but we could both use some extra room to spread our wings. i would like to have just a bit more square footage at a decent price. it's that second part of the equation that gets tricky. rent around here is a doozy. not so bad as it was in crapifornia, but still quite a chunk. i'm keeping my eyes (and my options) open to see what's out there for us. oh holy fuck, i just don't even want to ponder on moving that fishtank again! if you thought the file cabinets were bad, try hauling around wet sand and random fish stuff until your arms get longer. glub glub glub. anyone got new ideas for us?

my latest musical purchases:
nat king cole - a must have
the new BJORK - it's simply faboo!!!

23 April 2007

travel tips of the week

if you are like me, which you are and you know it, because i'm totally way cool, and so you want to be like me, that's the obvious answer, then you will appreciate my ability to make even a run on sentence seem correct, mostly because you know how to put enough commas in it to make people forget that you have yet to use a period, and who wants to have a period anyway, right, since those things are just wretched, so instead you divert people's attention to trying to remember what the hell this was supposed to be about, and oh yeah, it's a travel entry.

at least that's my story. maybe the trip is twisting my little brain. since my latest alter ego has surfaced, i feel that rock rolling all over the place. bonnie will be glad to know that "the agitator" is in some sort of slumber for the moment. yay! no tornados for seattle this year! perhaps i'm just learning how to harness mt powers correctly. or better and stuff, ya know.

any-hoooos, i have a few handy tips for travelling all the way across the country. people who travel just love to get travel tips from those of us on a budget. and i'm talking about an actualy budet - not that fake"on a budget" shitty magazine fakeness. fuck those people. they think it's budget to stay in a three star hotel for two hundred a night. WHAAAA...?!?!?! instead, i've got tips from the trashy end of life. not very trashy tips, but real life experience. like to hear 'em? here it goes!

1. if you book an overnight flight, expect to sit next to a baby. expect a whiny toddler to be sitting in the row behind the baby. expect to feel like crying yourself, because you're wondering what you did to deserve this, and if the airlines are thinking about instituting child-free flights at any point. oh please oh please oh please.
2. don't expect any brotherly love OR flight information when you get to philadelphia. you will ask at least five people what the hell is going on. they will, in turn, act like it's all your fault that they didn't post your flight or gate on any info board in the entire airport. be happy that you got to walk at least two full miles over the course of an hour (with all your baggage in tow) and get that cardio going.
3. you will wait about eleven hours to have a cigarette and people at the airport will wonder why you're testy. you will be dying for coffee but only get a thimblefull. you will realize that you forgot your comb and your hair looks nappy. you will stop giving money to people to cure cancer, because you've decided that it's waaaayyy more important for them to get on that whole teleporter thing.
4. you will think that the hardest part of the trip is over, only to realize the next day that you can freak out under even the happiest of circumstances. you will then beg like a crazy ass hobo twat for someone to get you a chili dog. you will cry about shopping for a new bra when you're supposed to be on vacation (but all your bras broke) and then suddenly a chili dog shop will appear and you'll feel like an asshole for wigging over something so stoooopid. you will scarf the chili dog anyway, though.
5. you will actually ask someone to put the cats on the phone. you will wonder if you've lost your mind for a moment, then remember that these are your version of children. you will tell anyone who makes fun of you to stick it.
6. don't expect not to have a nervous breakdown. it's inevitable. don't expect to have a less than stellar time. stellar is just as inevitable as breakdowns.
7. figure out what souvenir and goodie doodads you can mail back to yourself so that you don't have to worry about toting back more than you brought with you on the trip. going through airport security blows anyway, but it's easy to remember that it sucks for the people who work there as well.
8. drink plenty of water. bring headache pills. don't forget your comb.

that's all i have for you so far. i can only hope that the next flight is boring and sleepy. at least i bought a comb. if i can reach the computer after eating like a fat girl, you'll hear more about north carolina and oklahoma in the next few days. if not, i'm in a cheese coma and they've taken me to the emergency room to be cut out of my pants. and i hate shopping for new pants. let's hope i can keep it in check. locopops, here i come!

what i got out of the art-o-mat:

20 April 2007

what liz wants to know... or, welcome to my interview

our virtual interview today comes to you courtesy of liz (of the infamous lizland - see lizgwiz), who recently accepted the challenge from stefanie (from stefanie says) to be emailed 5 questions to answer. my question is, who will be ready for a similar challenge after i get done? hmmmmmmmm???

1. I don't recall ever hearing the story--how did you and Derek first meet?

well, uh, it's kinda fuzzy, really. from the age of 13, i was a club kid. yes, i used to be the cool type who would dance all night and then finish off with biscuits and gravy before hitting the sack at about 9 am. a few years later, derek and i were both hitting the same social reject circles at the max, which was a gay afterhours club at the time. not so long after our initial "hi, i think we know the same people and maybe we drank together" casual meeting, he showed up at my house one day with my roommate. (of course she turned out to be psycho, but i can always thank her for getting me and derek talking.) i took one look at his huge glasses, chicken ankles, and goofy clothes and i knew: that's the one. we didn't start dating for some time after that, but i really did have a crush on him for months until he finally came around and gave in to my ultimate charm. fifteen years later and he's still got chicken ankles. yep. he's the one.

2. A multi--pronged question: What was your favorite show ever to act in? What was your favorite show to direct? And what show is first on your list of shows you MUST do some day? (Mine, of course, is Betty's Summer Vacation.) What was your favorite show in which you threw on a sheet and dashed on and off stage as a ghost?

i heart seventy scenes of halloween! being a ghostie who literally couldn't see a fucking thing while wandering about on the stage? and the raw meat? woohooo! i also enjoy receiving compliments about my "performance" in the vagina monologues... considering i was never in it. my favorite so far? any time where people say, "it was so good that i forgot it was YOU out there."

this will sound like a crap answer, but i've already gotten to direct some seriously way cool plays. i lead a very lucky directing life; nearly everything has been fan-frikkin-tabulous. i must admit that i have a weak spot for parallel lives and book of liz because of one thing - we laughed so hard at rehearsals even when we had trauma and bad days and mishaps. the oddities of those shows somehow made perfect sense all the time. what do i want to do now? grrr, i have to think on that. perhaps something with a great male role i won't get to play.

3. The old stand-by: what person, living or dead, would you choose as a dinner companion if you could? (It's not your last meal or anything, so don't factor in saying goodbye or finally telling some asshole how you really felt. Hee.)

if it's not the obvious derek (or other close peep) answer... sidney poitier or KV or eleanor roosevelt. this list could really go on and on. i'm not good at making choices today, am i? let's flip a three-sided coin on this and say sidney. for today.

4. If you could only read one book/watch one movie/listen to one CD/eat one type of food for the rest of your life, what would they be?

you're doing a whole bunch of making me pick one thing at a time. i'm feeling some major pressure here! you know how great i am at vacillating, and yet you squeeze my little brain like this. okay then, i'll try to just go for it without thinking too hard this time. short and sweet, like a tiny cookie.
book: i love everyone (and other atrocious lies). hardy har har!
movie: moulin rouge. weep, sing, weep, gush.
cd: the joshua tree. oooh, le sigh.
food: loaded chicken nachos... got a bit of everything!

5. You've been offered a really great job--but you're required to wear nothing but navy blue suits, neutral hose and navy blue pumps. Oh, and you can only wear one pair of small stud earrings (total) and muted lipstick. How quickly do you tell them to shove it up their ass?

i'm sorry. you didn't even get to the end of the question before i started spouting obscenities and moving on to another imaginary job offer. but i do own a tube of muted lipstick, believe it or not, for those days when i'm feeling... well, muted.

Bonus question: do you think you'll ever move back to Tulsa? Maybe when we're all old and gray, so we can form our own wacky version of 'Round the Bend and Over the Cutting Edge Players? ;)

wouldn't you like to know? hehehe. lately i have no idea where i'll be next. i think it's good to get out there and adventure, but i do miss home. and your dazzling wit, dah-link. let's call our old grey group the hip replacements or the spare parts, shall we?

whew! long-winded is one thing i do well, but i must kiss you all goodnight for now. anyone who is up for the challenge of a virtual interview, shoot me the breeze and i'll think up some humdingers for you. you know you want to...

up next:
sisyphus goes on a vacay! (must finish packing...)

19 April 2007

check tomorrow instead

the minutiae of my life is not that exciting.

this evening's installment is chock full o' nothing. it's too late in the evening to give my interview for liz. (check out the link to lizland to understand this one) i have no witty stories of the day to tell about seattle. this blog is not cool enough to give pop culture internet links. if you want interesting stuff about stuff, try back later on. for tonight i'm just gonna finish reading my email and run off to bed.

gotta pack for the trip, too. eee!

the best google queries that lead to my blog:
looking for freaky bitches
turned me into a midget

17 April 2007

your shameful colon and jael

derek is torturing me. we're watching penn and teller. is it a sign that you're running out of ideas when you do a "bullshit" about colon cleansing?

do you REALLY want to know what's in your colon? do you really want to walk through an oversized model that lets you analyze the walls of a colon? okay, so maybe that part sounds kind of cool and all, but i sooooo soooo soooooo did not need to see that photo of penn's colonostomy on the screen. did i mention that the DVR is set to autorecord this show?

this is to say (to liz) that we all have shameful television habits. i admit it! though no longer a wednesday night slave to the bravo channel, i do watch complete trash. my latest endeavor involves hosting a potluck dinner while making fun of america's next top model. you're all invited. we hit the 5-second-back replay button in moments that merit particular jest. i.e. whenever they fall down, cry, say something even dumber than you thought they could, or anytime we're trying to understand jael. seriously, that girl has some speech impediments from hell. "yaaaaa, i rallee wannna bee muurricuzzz nixt top maulll." she had better be way high on drugs. or have plenty of paralyzed facial muscles.

but i am cool for watching ugly betty. i don't just watch it for salma hayek. never mind that she's not even on it anymore. never mind that salma is the sexiest fucking woman on earth. the show is cool. not, it's better than that. it is KEWL BEANS, DUDE. i want to take justin to the park and let him burst into song. think he's available to perform at my next birthday party? child stars should take work where they can get it, lest they turn out to be blathering junkie types, like jael.

let's just get one thing straight right here: king of the hill never gets old. bobby hill is my hero and he will make me laugh until the end of time. i don't know you! THAT'S MY PURSE! sorry. just had to get that one in before i actually said it out loud. now you're saying it out loud. i can hear you.

let's not even go into my past tv watching habits. although i will defend some of my poorer sitcom choices of youth to the death, i have no damn excuse for small wonder. maybe i was on drugs then. maybe i was under house arrest and had no cable. maybe i was jael at the time.

the best thing holly said on the phone:
i'm flying chiquita airlines to greensboro
(you mean chataqua, right??!? CHIQUITA? wha...?!??!)

i love you, holly.

16 April 2007

random side notes - chapter twelve

nothing in particular has been happening as of late, so i'm back to the faithful old RSN postings for now. well, when i say nothing in particular, that is to say that everything is all over the place for me... as usual. weird news, good news, i-don't-know news. we keep all sorts of crazy in stock around here.

we're shopping around for cell service. i hate my current phone with a passion. it likes to shut itself off for no reason, lose calls in the middle of places that i should be getting reception, and generally be an unruly phone. choosing a cellphone service is something akin to choosing which way you want your arms broken, but i'm looking around nonetheless. i'm quite sure there are nightmare stories out there for each company, so in the end it'll probably be a coin flip. it will mostly depend on extraneous fees and which phone will be the easiest for me to use. if i'm going to upgrade to something fancy, i want a whole keyboard for text and a camera. if i'm going to stay ghetto, i'll just find something with good reception that's tiny and cute.

veronica's personal television show has been dubbed "kind of hysterical" by my friend maegan. maegan, in turn, will have her own show called "my normal ridiculous" at my command. we haven't named mine just yet. if your life were a television show, what would it be called?

i took the day off work today so that i could lay about and snot everywhere. yes, i realize that my vacation is only a few short days away, but this morning i was in no mood. the day rolled on with phone calls from everyone. how did you people know i took the day off? is it really that hard to get me to answer the phone on a normal day? (YES, it is. even i know that.) in between my naps and snotting i got a bit of news and updates from one coast to the other. literally. thanks for checking in, peeps.

stuart has become a lovey kitty. the reasons behind this are not completely clear, but it may be his fear of the new windup toys i've been bringing into the house. we have a small army of toys that run/spin/roll through the living room making noise and chasing the animals. hence, stuart scampers around the corner to then stick his head out of the bedroom and watch the windups whir and shake. all three of the kitties are now bordering on codependence. dizzy lays on derek's desk all day while he works. she sleeps and squirms and stares at him lovingly while going for the household's daily cute award. bubba? well, you know he is already. no provocation is necessary to get some bubba lovin' at any given time. meow.

tanya is a new aunt! her baby sister melissa had a little boy last week. damn, i guess she has a good excuse to miss the north carolina slumber party. good news, though, and tanya: you give melissa a hug from me.

only a few more days until i see mary!

i'm hungry even though i can't taste much of anything. i'm sleepy even though i've been napping enough to be a kitty cat. maybe i will kick derek out of the bed tonight and replace him with a plate of nachos. i could be lazy enough to just roll over and chew. nachos could make me feel really tough. they're a bad ass food... especially if they have guacamole. the mighty avocado must come to my rescue!

what i'm reading this week:
between the bridge and the river by craig ferguson. yes, the craig ferguson who has his own late night show. and it isn't bad.

12 April 2007


i will miss you, mr. vonnegut.

you got me through a lot. you didn't even have to be perfect to be one of my heroes. thanks for being such a curmudgeon with a sense of humor.

09 April 2007

the old grey mare ain't what she used to be

it's not quite clear what's happened to me over the past several months, but it is very clear that i'm falling apart. in a normal year i rarey get sick or dilapidated. there are always those days here and there that i "don't feel good" and whine around the house, but actual pathetic behavior is reserved for those times when i really need sympathy to tide me over. whether it's all the moves or climate changes or whatever in the past year, my body has decided that it's not going to take my normal abuse anymore. it is officially time for me to slow down. or speed up and get fit. or be nicer to myself. something like that.

my work schedule leaves me tired most of the time during the week. there is that lucky day when i don't have to be there until ten, but it's mostly getting to work early. EARLY. like before 8 am. people keep telling me that i'll get used to it, that my body will get adjusted, but six months later i'm still hurting. i can't sleep at night very well because i'm paranoid about being late to work. mornings are shot because i can't wake up mentally for several hours since i didn't rest properly. i spend most of the afternoon in a daze because i'm exhausted. after i get home i fight to stay awake, or at least not nap too long and end up all night again. and so it goes, with me spending the whole time wondering why it hurts more and more now. aren't i supposed to be "used to it" by now? why do i feel worse after so many months of getting adapted to my schedule? whine whine whine.

not to be predictable, but i think i'm allergic to sunlight. i woke up this morning and my eyes were all red and scratchy. thye stayed that way until... well, they're still red and scratchy right now. once we got outside i started sneezing. and sneezing. about a dozen times in a row. literally. each time i went outside today it just got worse. is it the sun or the cats or spring or what? i've never had allergies before (an amazing feat when you come from okie dokie), so i can't really pinpoint the source of my pain here. i could be allergic to my job, or the schedule, or just everything around me. i'm a mess.

my back is rebelling in the form of spasms. something got pulled the wrong way over the weekend and i'm now sitting, sprawling, nay - lolling on the new sofa with a heating pad on my lumbar area. (yes, i use terms like lumbar area now.) derek rolled out a box of doan's pills yesterday while i was squrgling in pain on the floor. excuse me? doan's? don't ask me why it's in the house. those are his pills. he's an old lady. the best part of the doan's/heating pad/spasm thing is the side effects. doan's seems to upset my stomach, so that i need to eat something with it, but whatever i eat feels like it's churning in my belly after i take the pills. and since i feel all yucky, my teeth are clenched and my head hurts. in the end, i've resorted to the lay-around-the-living-room school of health. if anyone out there has some percocet or lortab that they're not using, i could take them off of your hands. maybe it's time to call one of my doctors back home and beg for drugs.

speaking of home, i'll be in for a visit right after i see mary. i got plane tickets! so now i run off to north carolina on the 21st, then i'll spend the next weekend at home. of course i'm excited as all hell to go on vacation with tim and mary and holly, but getting to go to taco bueno as a topper to the week will totally rock. okay okay, i'm coming home to see people. maybe even the dentist. maybe i'll get good drugs while i'm there. for now i should just go back to sleep so that i can start waking up in the middle of the night in a shock because i think i'm running late.

whine whine, complain complain.

things to do on vacation:
renew my car tags
smoke indoors while sitting down
look at real estate with mary
get my teeth cleaned
eat FUD - lots and lots of FUD
be leisurely

06 April 2007

crazy ass hobo twat

during my lunch hour, i like to get out and take a short walk. sometimes i go to the market and get bananas or run errands. other times i just stroll around looking at the world, maybe stopping in to say hello to some of the people i know that work near me. the biggest benefit of my walk, in my view, is to leave the building and get some fresh air. i don't even care if it's windy or raining; it's just nice to get out for a bit. i often call mary or rhiannon and chat randomly for a few moments or leave voicemail for my peeps that are at still work. these lunchtime walks are usually a pleasant addition to the rest of my day. they give me time to think and observe, time to breathe in new things. it's relaxing... most of the time.

yesterday i left the building after having some noodles. i thought i would wander over to the benches across the street and call mary to check in on her real estate madness. so i crossed the street and headed towards what looked like a nice hobo-free spot that wasn't completely surrounded by pigeons. there i was, toodling along, smoking and reaching for my phone. that's when i saw a skanky looking chick coming towards me. my first instinct rightly told me to just walk away and forget about the bench, which should have taken care of it, but she kept on coming after me. "excuse me, ma'am... MA'AAAAAAAM. hey! MA'AAMMMM! can i buy a cigarette from you?"

mary taught me well that i should try to be polite in rejecting these people. it does no good to be nasty to the hobos when you're turning them down. "no thank you!" i said in my best chirpy little mary voice. it was fucking perky, i tell you. according to her theory, it freaks people out when they're asking you for money/food/smokes/etc. and they get confused, thereby just leaving you alone. does this usually work? yes. i highly recommend this method. you can't be accused of ignoring people, but you still look sweet. would i recommend trying it on yesterday's stupid ass bitch twat? hell no. i did it, and this is when the beggar from hell turned on me.

"what? what the fuck kind of response is that?!?!? WHAT?!?! you fucking bitch! FUCK YOU!!! FUCK OFF!!!" somewhere during her screaming at me, i saw something that looked like chunks of bread, or maybe a handful of cashews, flying past my left shoulder at high speed. the idiot was throwing food at me! my polite rejection drove her to throwing things at me! i turned at looked at her, then made a slightly "whaaa...?" kind of body gesture, the kind where you cock your head and turn your palms up while squinting your eyes and shaking your head in confusion. i think i let out a tiny PFFT noise and walked away. (still proudly smoking and clearly holding on to my pack of smokes, thank you very much.) that was the extent of my retaliation. honestly. i didn't even say "whatever" or anything like that. it felt good to know that my initial reaction was NOT to kick her ass, but simply to get away from this crazy hobo.

but truly... really... i mean, COME ON! what the fuck was that shit? i don't give her my stuff and she gets to scream and throw stuff at me? i'm not sure when that became common practice on the street. it's not as if i'm going to magically change my mind and give you anything after you get psycho and pitch a fit. on a more practical note: if she's a drug addict transient, shouldn't she be hoarding her food? she could at least trade it for some booze or meth, or gee, maybe for that cigarette she was trying to get from me. it's no good wasting it on me. i'm a moving target who isn't afraid to make a scene.

i kept on walking, deciding that a cozy bench and chatty phone call was not in the cards for me on this particular day. as i rounded the corner, though, i began to get really irritated. no - more like steamed. i was totally irate. there were visions going through my head of beating this woman into the sidewalk. what right do people have to act like that and then try to ask for anything in return? i left a voicemail with veronica, called mary to bitch, and finally just went back inside to contemplate my next move. and when i say move, i mean it in a literal sense. if this is the way people act around here, then fuck this. i have better things to do than get food pelted at my head while i'm on my break. this is worse than the greenpeace clipboard people that hunt you down (repeatedly) to harass you on the street. "do you care about the environment?" "do YOU care that i'm only on a short break and you're totally fucking pissing me off right now?!?!" hobos, clipboard people, protestors, scientologists. it's a zoo filled with the straw that broke the camel's back.

maybe it's MY fault. maybe i should just get used to it. maybe it's my problem for living here, for working where i do. maybe those girls who wear short red dresses are ASKING FOR IT and they should just keep their mouths shut and take it when you bend them over the hood of a car without their consent. right? well piss on that. i'm not taking the rap for their behavior. i've got a bad case of road rage from just walking down the street. we'll call it sidewalk rage.

i didn't go out for a nice walk today. i just paced up and down the sidewalk (smoking, of course) out in front of work and glaring at anyone who even remotely made eye contact with me. if i can't get people around here to behave, at least i can get them to leave me alone. fuck off, greenpeace. you make me wanna buy a huge SUV and drive it over a dolphin. don't even get me started on the succession of other camel back straw types we encountered last night, even after leaving downtown. that's right, you pussy bitches. just keep on walking and don't even consider talking to me.

so much for making new friends, huh?

the best news of the day:
veronica's latest show opened tonight, and she is having a riot of a time! fun (PAID!) theatre things for vee! yay!

03 April 2007

random side notes - chapter ELEVEN!

it's always funny to say "this one goes to eleven" when you get to eleven. if you don't get that, i'm not going to tell you. have someone else explain it.

we are theeeeeesss close to wrangling tanya into our north carolina slumber party. who could resist eating f-u-d with holly and mary, right? maybe if we're lucky we can convince her to bring along some of her splendid baked goods for the weekend. i will personally volunteer to sleep on the sofa while she's in town with us. what i won't do for a cookie.

hearing about zhen spending some time alone makes me reflect. how was i different while living without derek? right away i can remember using fewer dishes; just washing things up and using the same bowl over and over. shoes got left in a glorious smattering all about. let's not forget the joys of being a complete bed hog. i got to be very particular about my little piles of stuff. other than that, it wasn't so odd as i would have expected. we talked each day, and i was so busy with a show and packing and cleaning and bonding with people that the time whizzed past pretty quickly. hmmm, maybe he doesn't bug me that much after all.

speaking of wondering... i'm just wondering how things are with liz's show. i really should call jenny, too. i'm terrible on the phone. it's easier for me to write a scribble than to be on the phone for very long. after about ten minutes my ear feels funky and i can't concentrate on the conversation. blah blah blah, that's the best i can do.

is it just my house, or do people just find it fashionable to park in someone's fucking driveway like it's okay? what. the. fuck??! i have only lived in three homes in the past ten years, and they've all had one thing in common - people like to park sideways across the drive to block me in when i need to get to work. fucking fuckers. who has time to stop and get someone towed when they're on their way to work? next time i'll just whip out a baseball bat. it's much more immediate and leaves and impression they won't soon forget. if they get freaky, i'll just blame the violence on my woman parts.

what did i do with those stamps i bought on friday? damn. i'm disorganized. when did my desk start looking like that?!? where IS my desk??!? oh. it's under the cats.

not feeling like going to work is my new hobby. once i get there it's okay, until people start pissing me off. that doesn't take long. i was considering getting fired just for fun, but i don't know what i would do with myself afterwards. nesting at home isn't so much my thing, so i usually keep a job just to get out of the house and keep myself busy. if i can get paid for having a bad attitude and being snarky, all while doing piddly shit, then i guess i can take it until i come up with something better to do.

yes, i do have faboooooooo tickets to see the police. yes, i am gloating here. yes, i also have tickets to the VIP party before the show. yes, you hate me like a bitch right now. yes, i'm going to keep on nailing it in ever after i go to the show. wheeeee!!!

no, i will not have another eddie izzard experience. should i bring flash cards for myself just in case i start going all drooly with confusion from getting to attend this event? d'oh! just had another reliving of the infamous eddie izzard meeting in my head. "i just wanted to say... something stupid, apparently." yeesh, now it's on a loop. AARRGGGHH!!!

and since we're on famous people right now... sidney poitier does the grocery shopping in his house. that's what he told oprah, and oprah told mary, and mary called me and told me. is that the coolest or what? just try to imagine our dear old sidney picking out a honeydew. go ahead. do the voice and everything. thump the melon. squeeze the melon. yep yep i heart my sidney.

dizzy woke me up this morning by stepping on my trachea. this was a feat, because i sleep on my belly with my head turned to the side. she somehow managed to make biscuits in just the right spot to cut off the air and wake me up in suffocation. she was so totally diqualified from winning the cute award today.

what you must look up on youtube:
alanis my humps (eee!)

01 April 2007


how it's cool not to be cool:
just about any movie can make me cry. liv tyler. in an unnamed action film with bruce willis and billy bob. i am appropriately ashamed of myself, which is less than you think. i cry at everything because i'm a total ninny. so there.

where i've been this past month:
depressed, working, cleaning, depressed, walking, sleeping late, pining over everything, not cleaning, chain-smoking, crying, watching bad tv, san jose, hanging out with andy, eating like a fat girl, less depressed, portland, moping, drinking coffee, listening to sad music, eating, feeling sorry for myself, shopping for a new phone, smoking again.

why i'm happier this week:
i have things to look forward to now. veronica is coming to visit us in seattle sometime in june with travis. it'll give them a chance to get away from the texas heat for a few days and dork out with us doing goofy shit. eee! rhiannon is almost done with her last class. kris is almost done with her last class. soon they'll both have fancy new degrees and you can deliver many happy congratulations unto them.

when i'm going on vacation:
my time off at work got approved and i'm going to meet holly in north carolina later this month! we're going to have a triple girly slumber party at mary's house and run around all weekend in pajamas! it'll be a bonanza of looking for real estate for the east coast posse duo! mary can cook like nobody's bid-ness! we'll be bringing presents for each other! shiny shiny freaky freaky girly madeness!!! oh, but how i do do do feel sorry for tim about this upcoming invasion.

what else is going on:
that just about brings us up to date for now. really it's been pretty much the normal grind, unless you count the odd bits of ultra-super-existential angst. (thank you for listening to me whine; you know if you're one of the people who had to put up with it on the phone.) the only eventful thing at work lately was meeting a buddhist monk who was just about the most adorably cute thing i've ever seen. he was better than a midget! i suppose he stopped in as a serendipitous reminder to me that i should just chill out and stop being such a bummer all the time. besides, i wouldn't want to become too predictable. that would spoil all the fun for you. and me. and you. and you. and you!

i heart exclamation points today!

who is the bestest boyfriend in the world:
derek is - and he's mine all mine. that's right. i said it. somehow i'm the winner and nabbed the perfect man for me. yes, i'm gushing here. he rates tops on the EEE scale of happiness. wanna know why? huh? do ya? huh? he got me a sweet ass soo-prize. i got it in the mail this week. it's the super coolest freaking thing ever. should i tell you now? are you ready? really? sitting down?


yes, i am still alive

the dark clouds are dissipating a bit, and i'm okay. (see, mary, it's gonna be okey dokey and you can stop worrying now.) it was a bad spot and i'm back now. news at 11, as they used to say in the old days. oh yes. i do have news. good news. really. i'm just too scattered this evening to focus very much. i'll get back to you later with the update.

what i haven't been doing lately:
writing (DUH)

14 March 2007

it's fine

work today was fine. picking up around the house was fine. going to dinner was fine. laying on the couch later on was fine. this whole day has been fine. nothing awful, nothing great... kinda ho hum. that's not all that bad or anything. just make me stop eating cookies. i've been bewitched by squishy cookies; the fluffy soft kind with the toxic frosting that makes you all wired from sugar.

and that's the biggest story of the day for me. except that teeny tiny midget from downtown. i swear he was carrying half of his own body weight in the largest messenger bag on earth. can YOU carry something half the size of you and tote it all around downtown? me neither.

my last email:
complaining to craft because my magazine is missing. grrr.

13 March 2007

i am this many now

while i was reading liz's blog, it occurred to me that i've been fidgeting with this thing for a whole year now. how on earth did that happen? guess i missed my "happy one year blogiversary!" whoops. oh well.

since one of my special talents is going out and ordering food, i organized another girl-fud night this week with some random chicks i know. it's a vain attempt to rekindle my feeling of being a social connector; has the added bonus of involving dinner. there is a little vietnamese place just down the street from our house that we're going to meet up at and pig out like teenage boys. what? never seen chicks going out for food without the guys around? we EAT like there is no tomorrow and yap yap yap for hours. not being a big drinker (and really not liking bars that much), this is fine with me. it counts as actual socializing.

everything else feels... in flux. life is not exactly full of change, but firm footing isn't the theme of the day. it's just kinda wobbly and full of waiting. i'll let you know later how the wobble is coming along as i figure it out myself. as the animaniacs might say, "wheel of morality, turn turn turn...."

this week's very disappointing film:
fast food nation
(i had really wanted to see it, damnit, and then it blew!)