21 October 2010

random side notes - chapter twenty seven

i'm sitting with the fuzzbabies and listening to marilyn monroe tunes. they seem to like her, as they're presently in a bizarre trance of snoring with their eyes open. are they asleep? are they contemplating the possibility of suffocating me in my sleep? it's like how i've seen animals react to the cheesy flash gordon movie from the seventies - creepy and reassuring all at the same time.

my lady guts are playing tricks on me, or the aliens have been abducting me and doing experiments. i've had the urge to cry for the last week. okay, so i've cried more than normal in the past week. sure sure sure, you twisted my arm. i cried at five minutes worth of television last night. after looking at the lunar calendar, i'm going to blame it on the impending full moon, like the water in my body is reacting to some tidal shift.... here in the middle of the country, of course. it all makes sense to me. if i'm going to get all choked up about rhiannon's kid starting school and getting homework, then i need some good excuse for being fucked up in the head. i mean, besides that whole crazy thing, ya know.

somehow, everyone wants to donate alottashit to my work lately, just by talking to me. well, some shit by some peeps, but it's good shit from good peeps. we all know i'm a silver-tongued devil, but this can't just be the product of my charms. i'm thinking that the full moon is adding to the population's universal sense of guilt and we're getting the spoils. that would keep my giant ego in check and hopefully keep my serendipity run going without my waiting for the other shoe to drop tendencies to kick in and make me cry again.

mmm.... getting the urge for sweet potato pancakes now, thanks to mary.

but seriously, is there some reason that i should see two live chickens whipping down the sidewalk in my very urban neighborhood?!? what kinda operation are we running here, folks? i had to drive down the street twice just to make sure i wasn't seeing things. one white, one red, both chunky and fast-moving. no shit. chicken or otherwise.

i've gone all day without answering the phone! i hate checking voice mail anyway. as of this evening, i've only responded to three text messages, and since i'll be at work all weekend i decided to get stuff done from home today, which also meant a trip to the movies with julie and her family. i'm pretty sure the women in the next row were trashed in the middle of the afternoon, because one of them felt the need to stretch out and lay down across four seats while giggling. or did she just miss her mommy and need a wooby blanket to watch "the social media" before announcing to us during the credits that she had just been signed up to facebook by her friend this morning? people freak me out.

leftover alert!
chinese food in the fridge is calling to me...

01 October 2010

with apologies to my peeps

you know how when you have a lot to do, and you're totally getting a lot done, when you skip a task because you're so damn busy - you feel like you're not getting anything at all done? uhhh, but maybe that's just me. i'm fascinated by a paradox like that. so now i'm in that thing where one of my bajillion juggling balls drop and i screech in a panic until i get some cheese to calm me down.

somewhere in all this i've managed to let my friendships wither to rather slim amounts of communication. i wanna scream out "I'M SORRY!" to all of my peeps at once. i know that in reality they will forgive me for going into my hole and being all mysterious and shit. i'm not mad at anyone, i'm not depressed, i don't have any major breakdowns scheduled for the present moment, so i don't want anyone to worry about me. i think i just have a touch of information overload that makes me retreat to my own little world the second i hit the door at night.

there is an interesting phenomenon that happens to me when i get really busy. sure i'm out there and talking to people and getting messages and hearing my phone beep all the time and... and... and... i feel disappointing and isolated somehow. it's funny how being so jacked in to so much stuff can put you in such a solitary haze. i think i even wrote a paper on this not so long ago when i was still in college. ironic how i've fallen victim to the very thing i've warned myself about in the past. you would think i would see it coming.

this leads to a whole other discussion about ironic isolation induced by living in a techno-glutted world, but i'll leave that one for another time. scott and i have had an ongoing thing about this for years. it's like a whole dissertation that should be saved for the possibility of further tortured times of education.

for now, i'll just apologize for for being a hermit to my actual life and admit that i need to keep up with people and stop making excuses for why i would rather crash on the sofa, forcing stuart copeland and mr. bubbas to watch endless amounts of bad television with me in the middle of the night while i get other work done. the cats would be happy to see me having a life as long as it doesn't interfere with their shedding and eating schedules. but you peeps still like me, right? i swear i haven't been eaten by a black hole or a giant octopus. and besides, it's opening night for one of the shows i'm directing (yes, i am on two different projects right now outside of work, because i'm an idiot) and i fell the three o'clock jitters lurking in the background. love me, i beg of you!

other things to catch up on:
the recycling is getting restless
thank you notes are polite
cats need a nail clipping