23 April 2010

if i don't graduate, i might get a gun permit

of course, my brothers would be very happy if i finally decided to purchase a gun. on the other hand, it seems like stabbing people would be more gratifying anyway. in either case, a massive meltdown like no other would be on the schedule if i found out that i couldn't be finished in a few weeks. for crying out loud, i already paid all my fees and bought the stupid cap and gown!

whew! has it really been a week since posting? since beginning this new writing class, i've stuck to my goal nearly every single day. and even on those days when i flounder, i'm learning how to chill out and get over myself. i make up for it in other ways, like writing more the next time or getting a sketch in to speak for me. this week i'm keeping up with it quite well. five minutes of writing turns into ten or twenty for me, so it's been way easier than i thought it would be, not even counting the boring academic stuff i'm doing for school.

okay, so i'm letting the cool powerpoint i did count for something, but only because it's not a total snoozefest. the research papers? blech. how will i ever learn to be boring enough to please any kind of professor and convince them i'm not an idiot? cite this, school! most of them know me well enough to overlook my penchant for injecting humor into academics, so i think i'll do fine with everyone except my capstone coordinator. the two mentors i've been using are into the fact that i just wanna be finished, so they get the way i'm thinking. so long as i keep my audience in mind (it's aimed at the public, not at academia types) while composing, they think i'm great and can't wait to see it. i did a practice run in class this week and got some helpful feedback on my peer evaluations. the instructor? let's just say that the two of us communicate in completely different ways... like parallel lines, unable to get in touch, and who will never understand one another. can it be true that she's as lenient in grading as i've heard tell from other students? here's to crossing all fingers and toes in hopes of success.

my week is fun:
a whirlwind of rehearsing with six different directors! how's that for a transition from merely inspired to actually creative, eh? it's a marathon and i'm loving it.

15 April 2010

bon jovi took my parking space

since i've had very little sleep this week, this almost feels like drunken posting. see, i was supposed to be studying and finishing more schoolwork, and i spent the other night just staring and doing more editing until finally wandering off for a nap at about 6am. but that's another story. or maybe it's the really short and boring story i just told in one sentence. in any case, my meds are just now kicking in and i feel kinda woozy today overall. you lost yet? me too.

on tuesday we had tickets for rioult, but derek didn't feel like going so i took miss gwyn (who has some regal quality that makes me call her that, as opposed to simply saying gwyn) instead and we had a fabulous time. my nervy side has been inadvertently activated this week, so i asked the producer to give me a discount on next year's season tickets, or else i would think about just canceling the order and do the student walk-up fee. no idea what came over me there, because i really don't mind paying for tickets to see stuff when i can afford it. in the end he wanted to give me a reduced rate on the season tickets because i am a repeat customer. hey, what can i say? sometimes all you have to do is ask. i was thrilled and told others to buy the damn tickets so that he keeps on bringing cool stuff to town. you see, there is such a thing as positive word of mouth for business. i'm one of those people that will not only tell ten people when i get pissed off at a company, but also blab to high heaven when they do something awesome.

that was also the night of the bon jovi show here, so parking was definitely interesting. thank goodness the cops around here have better things to do on most evenings that hand out parking tickets downtown to those of us with tiny cars that fit into illegal spaces. if it inches forward just right and nobody else around me leaves their car in a jacked up fashion, the bug can get past just about anything and still leave a clear path to the fire hydrant. if there's a blaze and my car gets scratched... well then, i only got what i deserved for squeezing in there when it wasn't really supposed to be a parking space. that's my story and i'm sticking to it.

this morning someone called me "the person with ideas" while we were at coffee together. i think i like that description. it made me feel smart and creative after a long week of wondering if i was merely inspired but clueless.

we've gone through two auditions with the kids this week. just so you know, my little directors are very professional. they were all nervous as hell, but organized enough to overcome their jitters. the casting session was absolutely fucking hilarious! any time you hold mass auditions and have to split up so many actors between five directors, it's going to be complete chaos in the negotiation process. me and frank just wandered around trying to be the voice of reason for them when it got a bit heated. surprisingly enough, it only took about an hour to sort this person to that director, make calls to get a few more people in for extra roles, and get all the paperwork back into a pile. if my prediction is correct, every week is going to be some exciting chunk of this production. next we move on to scheduling and preliminary readings on each play. if you would have told me a few years ago that i could work this well with kids and still keep them on track, i may have laughed in your face. not so much because i didn't like them, but rather on an intimidation factor. they used to scare the crap outta me in groups. now it's beginning to get more comfortable. still not sure what that says about me, but listening to them is an easy way to keep up on the latest pop culture.

now that graduation is getting close enough to taste, there is some small hope that my professors are just sick enough of dealing with me and all my surliness that it's going to be easy to pass those last few credits. if they're super annoyed with all of my bitching, they'll wanna just get it over with, too. it's never quite clear if the things they call me - different, interesting, paradoxical, spunky - are a compliment or an insult. maybe they're those left-handed compliments. being left-handed, that term in itself is a sort of left-handed compliment. is that as hilarious as i think it is right now or do i just really need to get more sleep?

ironic thought of the week:
one of my neighbors owns an official indy pace car. and yet, i've never seen that car in motion. yes, these are the things i think about in the middle of the night.

12 April 2010

words i like today - chapter three

in an effort to keep up on my five minutes per day of mental exercise, i offer you yet another brief glimpse into the things i think about in the middle of the night. this list includes words that are fun to say, words that make me contemplate their meanings, and new words i either make up or learn along the way. as always, it will also have words that sound like what they really are, which is my favorite type of word in general.

  • stubborn - this makes me crinkle up my face when i say it, leading me to the belief that it's very emotionally charged in some sense.
  • cup - because that's what is holding my coffee
  • calculator - am i going on a hard sound hullabaloo this week? i've always liked words that force me to use the muscles in my face to say them. it makes me feel more engaged when i'm speaking out loud.
  • hagiography - a biography idealizing its subject. this is a new word i learned just yesterday and i'm still trying to "pronounciate" it right.
  • illuminating - more fun to say inside your head than with your face. maybe. let's all try it together, shall we? ill-looooooo-min-ayyyting. hmmm, i think the delight factor might depend on when i took my medication on that particular day.
  • wabaaaaaaam! - sound effects are always fun for me. being that i have a number of brothers, i grew up learning how to speak in sounds effects as a way of really getting my point across to someone. onomatopoeic speaking is even more useful that precise vocabulary sometimes. and yes, i did have to look up that word to make sure it was correct, so don't feel so dumb.
  • woof - also its accompanying noise, ruff. or any animal sound, really.
  • jello - can you think about jello without going right to the word wiggle? and then you gotta head over to jiggle to make it complete. and then you shake your booty in a great jello impersonation just for emphasis. again, it gets you engaged in what you're saying. wow, i seem to have a thing for talking in ways that get my whole body moving lately.

my perpetual need for puns is always lurking, so anytime i can work these into a conversation in some ridiculous way is an extra treat. whenever i can't, i simply hum the first part of elton john's "your song" with punny inserted for funny. it's a way to get my mind jumping without the whap whap whap noise taking over. send me your favorite puns and i promise to laugh until i snort.

more school updates:
today i have a computer clep test. this whole proficiency thing the state requires is a complete racket. anyone who tells you that education isn't a business just like any other industry is only fooling themselves. the learning part is fine... the finishing part is costly.

06 April 2010

random side notes - chapter twenty five

my desk is developing tiny mountains again. it's time to tame my paper demon and throw more stuff into the recycling before stuart copeland causes an avalanche. he likes to wedge himself into a corner and lay against the piles while he squirms around until they spread out into a big pillow for him. cats are messy people.

it would seem that most everyone i know that used to blog has abandoned that practice in favor of the more ubiquitous facebook. all is quiet on the blogging front, for the most part. (kris, i haven't forgotten about you.) i heard a story on the radio about how burger king offered people free burgers last year for participating in the "whopper sacrifice" on facebook. all you had to do was delete ten friends from your page and wha-bam! free food! you might be surprised how many free whoppers they gave away... or maybe you wouldn't. talk about making choices, huh?

my latest writing project involves something very simple. pull out chair, insert butt. i've been assigned to an easy five minutes a day of writing. easy? only when you don't think too hard about that five minutes. it's part of a new class i'm doing about creative journals. if people can get buddies to work out with them, then having a group to motivate you into writing a bit every day makes just as much sense. after already missing a day, i've decided that it is just like exercise and i'll make it up by adding on an extra five minutes today. seems as if i can catch up on my correspondence this way. alice and amy haven't heard from me lately, and bonnie is always on my mailing list. mostly i am trying to encourage the habit of just sitting down and making the effort to write something. so it might be crap, or it just might be a starting point. it's better than nothing but a blank space. my only aversion is to the whiny, because it's an easy wallow trap to fall into on the page.

derek just gave the "this is my gun, there are many like it" chant inserting the word cat wherever you normally say gun. he's currently cooing away with his little princess dizzy. she's much more cuddly than she used to be.

the cheese experiment has certainly gotten people's attention. chris was in town this past week for jason and alicia's wedding. when he heard about the whole process he asked me, "where is my sister and what have you done with her?" in case you've been wanting to ask, yes i do think it's a great activity for the kids. the mess is minimal, the skill level is easy, and the time commitment is short enough to keep their attention. he's going to use it with alex and her classmates as a way to teach them some more about nutrition and science. chris teaching a group of kids how to make mozzarella string cheese? i want a photo of that one.

noise is an important part of my creative endeavors. the clacking sound of the keyboard, the tapping of a bracelet against a hard surface, the sound of my feet on the floor as i pace - these are all parts of the process to me. when i'm taking notes while directing a show, i've heard more than one actor comment about how they heard my pencil scratching away in the dark. this is possibly why it's so difficult for me to concentrate in a library. the quiet of the room is almost disturbing, making me work very hard to focus on the hum of the lights or the shuffling of pages.

my dr. pepper binge was bizarre. i had a sip of this kind, a sip of that kind, and then put all the bottles back into the fridge for later. the one big glass of it i had at brunch on sunday was like a crazy caffeine potion. as predicted by shawn, my taste buds were confused and i've opted for more water and juice in the past few days even though i have a choice now.

thanks to my ipod, i've become a podcast junkie. no longer do i just hope to catch my favorite shows when they're playing live. no longer do i have to turn on the stereo at home or come up with an excuse to drive around aimlessly just to listen to the radio. i can't be hemmed in by scheduling! if i thought tivo was great, then i also heart my podcasts. everyone knows there's nothing good on the radio when you're actually listening to it anyway. it's like a timing law of nature. you either get the best driveway moments when you're in a real hurry or you worry about getting in a wreck from being so busy flipping the station away from the annoying crap that sends you into a road rage. now i have the holy trinity of my car, my ipod, and me.

i really like double stick tape.

my latest art acquisitions make me so happy! one was an impulse buy and i don't even care that i probably can't afford it. i've become enamored with the paintings of audrey eclectic and i can't stop staring at them. i even got one as a gift for the wedding. the odd thing is that they're so different from the normally ultra-pop stuff i like to buy. there's something vaguely victorian and yet still very modern about them. if you have a chance, go to her site and take a gander. oh, and she herself is a fun lady, so buying her pieces made me extra joyful. she was really excited when i gave her a couple of my line sketches. does no one give art to an artist? it really isn't as intimidating as i thought, and she seemed to enjoy the juxtaposition. sheesh, even holly has some of my work. she recently did a portrait of me in oil paints and it looks totally cool. now i just have to decide where to put it in the living room and get some more of my sketches to her in return. that resolution i made is beginning to pay off in my favor. i was so in need of making a transition from simply being inspired to making myself be more creative. i swear, there are so many people running around in my head that i really have to have some way to let them out of here. every time i hear that flat tire whap-whap-whapping in my head i know it's time to get something done.

auditions on my project are coming up this week! my little directors are ready and i myself am terribly excited. i'll let you know how it goes. they've been pretty professional overall so far, and this looks to be a great show. it's interesting to watch them begin to take charge of the project on their own. at our first production meeting they all looked like they were on spontaneous vomit alerts. now that they have some idea of where to go with the individual plays, they're starting to sound more confident about what they're doing. let's see what happens after they get a cast.

recent everyday triumphs:
getting out of bed
leaving the house
brushing my hair... sometimes

03 April 2010

hippity hoppity - a weekend of fun

jesus is coming and he's going to bring me dr. pepper and candy! i've been texting with emma for the past half hour about exactly what kind of soda and candy we'll be having at the stroke of midnight, thus ending our lent-icular challenge! wooohoooooooo!!!

honestly, i didn't think i was going to make it through this one without cracking. i'm actually feeling some pride here. you know? veronica and emma are advising me as to which kind of dr. pepper i should drink. i have a chick-o-stick waiting for me in the cabinet. this will probably end in a bellyache and some rolling around on the couch, but i don't care. and you know what else? it hasn't even been as difficult as i thought it was going to be. it even made me give up fast food, for the most part. we've started eating healthier in general. overall, i would recommend the experience to everyone, but that doesn't mean i'm not gonna stick some sugar in my face in a few minutes.

oh, and the wedding was really fun. jason and alicia were completely adorable, not to mention the most sedate bride and groom newlyweds ever. this wedding was even more void of stress than the zoo extravaganza thrown by ed and rhiannon. my bridesmaid dress is totally wearable for other occasions. the rehearsal dinner was a laid back event where i got to eat queso with two little girls and watch the happy couple doing the macarena with a live mariachi band in the background, cause my family rolls all cheesefest like that. my new necklace from alicia is stunning. the special red lipstick i bought for the hoo-ha turned out to be the perfect color. i didn't even fall down or get food in my boobs at the reception. and everybody got to eat and drink and have a good time, including the two of them. not bad for a wedding, huh? they were so gracious that i didn't even run away to the bathroom when the wedding party was forced into doing the electric slide out the on the dance floor. nick and chris were there for the occasion, sitting with derek as the nerd patrol. chris says he's posting all kinds of photos online later, so you can see my whoop-de-doo dress. we already sent vee a photo and she almost cried because she said i looked so pretty. i just hope nick didn't get too much video of that whole electric slide incident. let's just say choreography isn't my strong suit.

and here's a fun fact for you - have you ever been to a wedding without men on the front row of the audience? i have. okay, so there was a tiny little ring bearer rolling around, but he was the only one. just imagine the benches filled with flower girls, mothers, and grandmas. that was the scene today, which i thought was pretty interesting. so we all stood up there looking posh through the ceremony, and some little baby was kind enough to make a giant raspberry farting noise right at the end of it, just when everything got quiet. ah yes, perfect ending to a wedding, one that even made the minister have to hold in laughter while the rest of us in the wedding party stood up there trying not to bust loose into giggles... unsuccessfully, i might add. it's a good thing the ladies had little bouquets to bury our faces in at the time. men, you're on your own.

oh wow. the bells are starting to ring outside. it must be time for me to make that quiktrip run and get my sodie pops. eee!

what my siblings seem to have in common:
we all enjoy, or rather, are completely and inexplicably fascinated by taking pictures of our feet... of other people's feet... of all kinds of shoes... of groups of people, only from the ankle down. what i wanna know is, just who gave this habit to whom in this family?