on the telephone

most people have one or two best friends. most people also have really asinine conversations with their best friends late at night when topics wander. you'll be happy to know that i am no different, and neither is mary.


when it goes downhill...
mary: haven't you been reading in touch? britney spears is hanging around paris hilton and not wearing any panties. i don't know what she's thinking.
me: hanging around who? that's a good way to lose her kids.
mary: it's gross. she's making k-fed look good at this point.
me: let's all bless k-fed for a second. we're used to seeing things the other way around. we usually see the sienna millers of the world. he's changed all that.
mary: yes, he's pretty savvy. maybe he's paying paris to hang out with britney. that way she'll look bad and he'll get the kids. which is worse - paris or k-fed? it's sad when that's a hard choice.
me: both of them drive drunk. i bet he's giving her all he has left now. his weenie. his weenie in exchange for her and britney. then he can trade over to paris when it's all done.
mary: maybe he's smarter than we think.
me: oh yeah, he's just waiting it out now. then he can take her money, too. and paris has even more than britney.
mary: the last thing i need to see in life is another shot of britney's stubble-crotch. put on some panties!
me: i can't believe i'm so behind in my gossip. wait! i hope that's not the link you're posting in your blog for my birthday.


later on...
mary: tim and i are playing video games together lately to spend more time hanging out. i'm actually starting to like it.
me: is he the dungeon master?
mary: no, it's not dungeons and dragons. nobody is the dungeon master.
me: i mean that in a general sense. like being the banker.
mary: oh i see, of course. no i don't think so. i roll the dice on the computer and then cast spells. it landed on something and i told it to do magic. "now i'm casting a magic missile." then i thought, oh my gosh did i really just say that?
me: you know what? it's arbor day in the dork forest for you - and you've just planted a baby tree of your very own. you know that, don't you?
mary: we're just trying to spend time together!
me: hey, i'm just saying. happy arbor day.

and then...
mary: you know that movie where there's something about "have you seen my dad?"
me: prelude to a kiss?
mary: no! i'm talking about finding nemo. what the hell are you talking about?
me: well, they lost that old guy and then he took her body. i've never even seen finding nemo, so how would i know what's in it?
mary: are you sure? nobody lost their dad in that. they just switched places and then she started flossing all the time.
me: but the old guy escaped his family!
mary: you're so confused.

it gets better...
me: you could buy a new TT while you're at home on your visit and then drive it back to north carolina. when tim gets a new car then nick wants his mazda.
mary: they only have one ausi dealership here, and they didn't have the right ones in stock. they won't get more until spring. all that was there was the... oh what's the word for that? recycled? no that's not it. for when the top comes off.
me: sure, a recycled car. you mean a convertible?
mary: yeah that's it. they only had the roadster convertibles.
me: you were making fun of me for confusing two movies, one of which i had never seen. now you can't tell the difference between recycled and convertible?!?
mary: well that's different. my two things are related.
me: i think i should go to bed soon.

is it the weather?

some odd things that happened today:
i only hit snooze once
the bus was at least 30 minutes late for every single person i know
the heater at work was all kerfuffled
a man rode past me on a unicycle
bubba and stuart were touching while sleeping
i simply could not live without health food
the word agitator was said on tv multiple times
dizzy begged to sit next to me
my impulse control problems made me periodically burst into song... but maybe that one isn't really so odd after all. i am me. these things happen.

i'm sleepy before midnight. that's super weird.
zzzz...

the agitator in spin cycle

MORE SNOW! isssooooo pwittteeeee. there was also something approximating the tenny tiniest hail bits i've ever seen at one point this afternoon. they were like miniature hail pellets. awww how cuuuuuuute. but seriously, i hope everyone was staying safe on the way home this evening. from what i can tell people do slow down when the weather gets shitty. that's a comfort to a weenie like me.

my whining is paying off. if i can get through just two small weeks of torture my load will lighten all the way back to 9 am. guess i really was a useless blob at work on the day after thanksgiving. guess they like me enough to want me to stay for a while. guess i can get more than a few hours of sleep a night pretty soon.

i'm not sure if the terminology is correct or not, but i think i might have something like intermediate insomnia. (holly or rhiannon feel free to correct me) it's been an intermittent problem for years, but especially when i have to get up early. i can fall asleep fast enough most of the time; then i wake up a few times a night when things are turbulent in my life. if my schedule is outta whack, as in getting up way too early, then i stress about getting to bed soon enough. hence comes the laying awake and trying to force myself to sleep... and the inevitable worrying about being late that keeps me awake longer than it should. this is followed by waking up in a panic that i really am running late, only to discover that i've only been asleep for a few hours. this cycle repeats itself until i feel nauseated and icky. throw in some dragging/forgetfulness/crankiness and VOILA!

is this where the agitator comes in? latent powers are exacerbated by a body spun out of control. things get all funky. snow and ice hit seattle in november. my internal time clock is just itching to be a scapegoat in all this. truly. i had better get some rest so that life can swing back towards normality.

random related rant: feminazis can be so schlocky and annoying. is this how the good christians - and i'm not being snarky this time - feel when some butt smear like (insert jerky alleged christian here) makes the rest of them look bad? this is obviously some great lesson to teach me more about compassion for others. it's so totally working. coo-winky-dink, epiphany, eureka!


what i read yesterday: on truth
what i'm reading today: bust magazine and blogs
what i'll read tomorrow: any suggestions?

DOOM!!!

yes, it really did snow here today. not very much, not even enough to stick on anything besides some windshields. but HA! maybe my hero name should be chicken little catalyst of doom. hmmm, that's a kind of long name. how about chickatalyst? let's face it - the sky is fucking falling here. the only thing holding it up at this point is my big head and big ego. aren't you glad i'm here to save you? snuggle up and enjoy the snow.

went out to the midnight movie last night! it was pretty cool to see CLUE in the theatre, partly because it was a bunch of old farts in there (i.e. no one under 25) whooping and squealing at the best parts. and the second best parts. and just about anything else we all thought was even remotely funny. in other words, we were a rowdy bunch of old farts who made a lot of noise. yay!

as punishment for being productive, i've been given the world's worst work schedule right now. 7 AM. seven. fucking. a. m. in the morning. before the worms or the birds rise. i feel myself starting to freak out right now. there is a slow descent into madness coming along quite nicely. should i play the "but it's my birthday!" card to escape for a day, or just take my obviously karmic punishment like a grownup? whine whine whine. complain complain complain. there is a reason i've avoided these working hours for my entire adult life. i suck at them. they make me physically ill and cranky to boot. let's hope this is only a temporary thing due to the holiday retail hell rush. if i can pull through the next couple of weeks without being fired for being late, maybe i can plead for mercy. i would really hate to have to look for a new job once again. ugh. job interviews are NOT my specialty.

WAIT! I'VE GOT IT! from now on, i'll be called (insert drumroll here):
THE AGITATOR!!!

doesn't make me sound like a washing machine, does it? like a really boxy big and bulky thing. ack, does this super name make my butt look fat? fuck it. i love it.



something on the web

derek is full of shit

this is the title of today's entry because, well, derek is full of shit. i don't know who told him that he's some kind of philosphizing wizard, but he's now gone mad with pontificating power. what. the. fuck?!?!

okay fine, you say, he's just expressing himself. let him get out there and be who he is, explore the inner life, blah bitty blah bitty fucking blah. that's all fine and good for you, my peeps. YOU don't have to live with his obsessive side. YOU don't have to listen to his idiotic theories on fuck knows what. YOU get to hide away, safe in your homes and away from his "you have to sleep SOMEtime" get back at me for making fun of him rantings. aren't you the lucky ones? oh, and don't think he doesn't know i'm sitting across the living room from him and talking about what an ass hat he is. we have a living and honest relationship around here. ass hat, i tell you. one step closer to being the ass-hole he wants to be. damn if we all don't know already that he's a perfect little saint who's so wonderful and sweet that it makes me want to barf like a girl with an eating disorder.

wait - didn't i already have an eating disorder? he's a hazard to my health! stop him before i get thin again! i don't wanna buy new pants. it's too complicated dealing with the lighting in those dressing rooms and i'm not making enough money to replace my entire wardrobe. but i digress.

i suppose i should just pump up his ego by nodding and smiling. or perhaps by telling him that's he's achieved his ass-hole goal. but he's still just an ass hat like it or not. if only i could get him to shut up about quantum physics and other things he knows butt about, i could probably get the house cleaned and look like the perfect little companion to saint derek. effing dork. freak. underpant neurotic weirdo. yes dear yes dear... i'm listening.

for now i will just turn him loose to binge on educational and home-oriented television ("look! i know how to make that shelf. i saw it on HGTV!") while i babble about the stupider side of life. i'll go on making the lowbrow into highbrow and making the highbrow into lowbrow, while never waxing an eyebrow. i might even bust out with the inerrupting cow knock knock joke when you least expect it. all things flippant and goofy are my tonic. that's where the REAL philosophy is... everyone knows that.


something i saw on amazon: whatever, the 90's pop and culture box set

my superhero skill

for a long time now, my superhero name has been "catalyst of doom" to reflect an assumed ability to make everything i touch turn to shit. businesses have shut down, magazines have folded, hair colors have gone all wiggly just from my involvement. in the scheme of things, i suppose it could be viewed as a self-important point of view for me to take; the idea that i could ruin everyone else's life is goofy. right? isn't it? please?

when we moved to suckifornia, everyone talked about how beautiful the weather would be there. this was quickly followed by record breaking heat and humidity, plus an impending possibility of rolling blackouts across the city. corporations bent to my will and volunteered to turn off a few lights once in a while. crisis averted. after pissing off the weather gods there, we decided enough damage had been done and split like a banana.

welcome to the new town of seattle, where floods are creeping up due to the record breaking rainfall for november. oh and don't forget the forecast that just told me it might snow this weekend (in a city where "it doesn't snow") and the thermometer is slowly having a nervous breakdown. these might seem like they're just blips on the satellite, but we all know that my ego is gigantic. GIGANTIC, I TELL YOU! it only takes a couple of tiny incidents to set off big head expansion. soon there won't be doors big enough for me.

in honor of my complete lunacy derek has renamed me. he says that i'm ACTUALLY supposed to be "the catalyst of change" and not doom. hmph. doom was comfortable for me. i was good at doom. pffffft, change? is he talking about quarters and dimes? it makes my nose wrinkle. i'll have to think about it more to know if i like it or not.

home trip hangover

there was a crazy amount of traffic that meant we didn't get home from the airport until after midnight, and then i had to be at work by eight this morning. ugh, talk about dragging ass all day. i was a little lost after being gone for a week, and i got next to no sleep. zzzzz...

tonight is blob night in the apartment. it's time to catch up on sitting around doing nothing in preparation for the holiday weekend shopping frenzy. eek. they call it "black friday" these days. hmmm. that does not bode very well for the mood of the crowd, does it? i'm going with that whole buy nothing theme that they say (them, they, those people, etc.) it's supposed to be about. i have to be there at seven so let's just hope for the best.

what are you buying this weekend?


something i googled: amy sedaris cheeseballs

baby antics

you know that if i'm amused by a baby it's got be a good time. they all look the same to me for the most part. they have to do something really special to get my attention. otherwise i just tell parents to watch "the dog whisperer" and get tips from cesar on how to deal with the kids. (hey, i just try whatever works with the cats and it usually works on an infant just as well.) just for the crap of it, here are some fun and doody-full snippets from conversations on poop and life, courtesy of max and merritt's bakery...

one of the reasons to enjoy your friends having babies is for the comical things that they so. while out at the bakery with rhiannon this morning, the baby managed to crap on its own back. he didn't even start crying like he does when he's being evil twin finn. just a squeak and a grunt, enough to get her to pick him up out of the baby bucket.

rhiannon: what's up max? do you need me to hold you?
me: uhhhh, it's crapped on its back.
rhiannon: oh jeez. we'll have to make a pit stop by the house.
me: hehehehehehehe. he crapped on his back! hehehehe. that's some powerful shit! hehehe. look at that! hehehehe
rhiannon: yeah yeah whatever.

cut to the changing table. the air is toxic, rhiannon is turning her head away while her eyes appear to be watering from the stank. she goes to put his clothing in the washer immediately. he proceeds to lay around naked peeing on himself and anything near him.

me: i think he just peed into the air.
rhiannon: well, of course. of course! is there more where that came from, max? what are you doing? you're going to need a bath. i'm going to make your dad give you a bath. what all did he pee on?
me: it looked like the whole table. yep, there's some along the side. hehehe, max peed straight into the air, AND he crapped on his own back AND all the way down his leg! what are you feeding him? is this that appelsauce? hehehehe. i wonder if i've ever crapped on my own back.
rhiannon: probably before you were old enough to remember it.
me: i don't know. i had some drug haze moments, but i don't think i did. i'm sure i've peed so much it went on my back.
rhiannon: like in a puddle that leaked up your back? ewww, there's a puddle from where he peed all over the place!
me: hehehehe. look, he's scared the cat into the other room! i know the smell of cat poop. if it's so bad that the cat ran away, it's pretty bad.
rhiannon: i have pee on my shirt now.
me: thanks max. moments like these are the whole reason to come home and see you. you laughed, you screamed, and now you're crapped on your back and peed all over. this trip is complete now.
rhiannon: oh well. it's ed's shirt anyway.

hehehehe...


something i've googled: holy-habits nun paper dolls

goodie bag

scheduled maintenance has now been performed. i've got spanking new hormone surges rushing through my body and another filling in my crappy teeth. not only that, but i got an exciting bag full o' goodies from my visits. new toothbrushes, pocket calendars, candy, stickers, drugs... all the things that make those office visits worth it. i told you it's not worth it to switch doctors if you don't really have to make the change yet.

tomorrow is the flight back to seattle and some last minute piddling around. overall it's been a pleasant trip. thanks to derek for making me come out here in spite of my crazy person "oh i'll just sit here and cancel my flights" middle of the night attacks. this will count as one splendid early birthday present. that should take the pressure off of him to find me some perfect little doodad next week. that's okay since i have all the office supplies i need and the shoes i like are fucking expensive as hell. maybe i'll just ask him to get me a banana. just so he feels like he's getting me a present and knows it would be something i like.

this place makes me feel like a rock star. it's been a whirlwind of running around and seeing people and getting stuff done. then the requisite napping and dragging ass from forgetting to go to sleep and then getting up early. i haven't even started my proto-packing (as diana would call it) to figure out what will fit in my suitcase. how is it that i can come here with a quasi-full bag, hand out gifts, and still go home with more in the end? something in this equation is just too ethereal for me. wow i really am loopy. it must be time for bed. zzzzzzz...


something i've googled: mr. t virtual playset

postulation-ary-ish-ism-esque

"i'm only happy when it rains... i'm only happy when it's complicated..."

there is a humorous so-called theory in circulation that even when you put an ipod on the random setting, it will continue to pick certain songs it tends to like more than others. living amongst geeks could have possibly made me think of this as poppycock until today. not only did my little shuffle develop affection for the garbage version of this song, but it followed up directly each time by playing the richard cheese version of the EXACT SAME THING. creepy, huh? i also have two versions of "perhaps perhaps perhaps" loaded right now and i'm waiting anxiously to see the outcome on that end. can your ipod have a personality of its own? according the the so-called theory - hell yes. love is kinda crazy with a spooky little ipod like you.

in other scooby doo, i went to see TC's production of " the pillowman" this evening. eee! quelle non-suckage! i haven't felt this freaky since i was on medication. this is reason enough for me to keep the arts in my life. who needs meds when you have culture and shit like that? i heart theatre.

mmm, taco frikkin bueno!

to my right, yummy goodies from the local gourmet store.
in front of me, papers with people i know on the pages.
to my left, CRUNCHY POTATO WITH CHICKEN BURRITOS!

the festival of food here is in full swing and running. it ranges from organic foofoo pasta samples to nachos to beef stroganoff and beyond. i don't know about you, but i allow myself a certain amount of unbridled indulgence (although that really sounds like some oxymoronica) when on vacation. add to that the fact that everyone wants to feed me while i'm at home and now you've got a recipe for FUDFUDFUDTASTICA! not copious amounts or anything, but a constantly meal-centric frame of events.

eee! kris just called and she's on her way here form kansas. veronica is coming in from dallas. i feel like i have my own gravitational pull. hey are you calling me fat, buddy?! i'm just kinda big boned... err, large framed. squishy and squeezy, as it be. if i eat the second burrito i bet we can lure someone else into town.

more about my food:
it's just one of those things having to do with wanting what you can't have. even if we did have a taco bueno in seattle it still wouldn't be the same. how many times have you heard (or uttered) the phrase "but it's jussssst NOT the saaaaaame" when adapting to a different version of the exact same damn thing? so no matter what i have in my new home, there are still things and places in my oklahomie that are just different. the new things are terrific and all that, but i'd sooner have a myspace booty call page than try to compete with the power of sentiment. it's just not the same.

p.s. i know people in the paper here. eee!

it's a world gone mad

so when i signed on to my google page this morning it had some crazy generic "DUHHHHH HICKEY" style top headlines from cnn.com:
deadly tornado rips up trailer park
detroit gunman on run after deadly shooting spree
democrats to settle leadership feud

for some reason this made me laugh. it was like playing hey kids let's state the fucking obvious. (not bagging on detroit or anything - a shooter in any city would be on the run) is this what the news has been reduced to in our modern ultracommunicative world? are we just recycling headlines because we're too lazy to see what's going on out there? isn't it supposed to be NEWs? personally, i think we've all hopped a train car and we're riding the rails to crazytown, hobo style.

not that i have any clue what the heck is going on, but i do try with my limited resources to investigate here and there. if this is all it takes to be an editor in journalism then sign me up. the workload seems right and the lack of content hints to me that the hours are totally sweet.

do i get vacation time and dental with that???

random side notes - chapter six

derek's toiletries were taken from him at the airport because they were in the wrong container and he didn't immediately remove them from his suitcase to be inpected. he'd put them in a clear plastic zipper bag, as opposed to a ziploc one quart bag. for reasons of national security, the people at the gate threw out his toothpaste. does anyone else think the war on terror is starting to resemble the plot to tim burton's first batman movie?

this week's theme in my life has been coincidence. serendipity has taken over once again and i feel cosmically interconnected and stuff like that. cowinkydinkydoo.

we put an emerald crab named eli into the tank a few weeks ago. it was supposed to be another way to keep the algae under control and add to our little ecosystem. he spends most of his time hiding out and avoiding me. i'm not even sure where he is right now, but derek keeps spotting him (allegedly) running around and so i don't think he died. maybe eli is antisocial. or he's just crabby. hehehee

my hair's getting really long again.

shopping alerts: mmm, fresh roasted coffee! we got a pound of the swanky stuff and it smells really wonderful, not to mention being a pot of tasty goodness. who doesn't need a little more foofoo caffeine in their life, right? and who doesn't need pantsies with ruffles on the butt? i can see you agree and you're jealous of my new rumba pantsies in green plaid. just like you want the copy of the new amy sedaris book "i like you" that wandered home with me this week. you can't have it. it's mine! my consumer gene has somehow been activated and i'm going mad with buying power. stop me before we buy a sofa.

maegan in los crapeles told me how hot it was there this week. even in mid-november they had a record breaking heat wave where downtown hit 90 and the valley was about 100 degrees. it's fucking AUTUMN, people! now you see why fat girls like me can't take it there. oh, and there's that whole human being factor. let's just say that i'm glad to get use of my jacket once again.

is there some other place we could put the seams on socks? they squish into the top of my pinky toe ("...now ah got to cut ya," says nick) and make my foot uncomfortable in a shoe. they should definitely figure out some other way to put those things together. damn, i wish i had some seamless socks.

in my impulse shopping mania, i also got one of those paddle with a ball on a rubber band things. i've only hit myself in the eye once. the night is still young.

derek is about to hit himself in the eye. i'm going to laugh when that happens. i'm going to laugh so so hard that snot flies out and accidentally lands on the cat.

tim gunn and the bus

yesterday started out to be total fucking crap. moody. hungry. lonely. sleepy. not happy with other people. blech blech blech. whine whine complain complain.

remember how we all thought i wouldn't meet any more celebrities at work since we moved to seattle? well, HA! first off, the author of the darwin awards books came in to sign a bunch of copies and got to see me in the middle of my moods. and the computers were freezing. and my head was up my butt. and we couldn't find her books. things were going oh so well. really, she was full of good humor and found it all very funny. she even gave some oversized postcards with individual darwin awards printed on them to brighten my day. big ups to wendy northcutt.

right before lunch there was a surprise at work. rumor had it that "the guy from project runway... does anyone here watch that show?" was in the store. EEE! let's all say it together now - EEEEEEEE!!! trying to be cool about it, i went to hunt him down covertly and found that he was standing right in my path to the break room, so i asked if he needed any help before doing that whole "aren't you him" thing. then the gushing began, peppered with some coherent conversation. we chatted for a few minutes about the show and mary (and how she has no bravo channel in NC - he was appalled at hearing that) and his event that night. he told me to tell mary thank you for saying nice things about him and blushed accordingly. he mentioned that he loved coming to seattle and asked me how i liked the recent move and about how different it was from oklahoma. then we bagged on los crapeles together in snickering tones before i said how nice it was to meet him and excused myself to go have lunch.

the best part of it? look for another infamous celebrity-chance-meeting humdinger here. (hey, i think i've improved vastly in this department since those other... shal we say, debacles of indignity) in the middle of our chatting, we shook hands and it went something like this:

me - by the way hi, i'm george.
tg - and hello i'm tim.
me - well duh, i knew that already.
tg - oh. (giggle)

i heart tim gunn. i even stopped by macy's after work to be a part of the hubbub. though we didn't get to have another exchange, the store did have all the winning challenge pieces on display where i could see them up close and personal from about three feet away. neat-o stuff indeed.

another milestone of the week was my conquering of the bus. not the whole system, but at least the one i can take to get home. nothing crazy yet, but i do know now where the free ride zone starts. this is key when you only feel like walking halfway to downtown and you're running a few minutes late. hooray for the free ride area! i'll be working on transfers and cross town transit next. see, i told you i could do it. and i didn't even see any bloody people on the bus.

i may not be able to move any mountain, but those molehills aren't so bad.

which button did i press?

damn, i hate it when i erase something and i don't even know what i did to make it disappear. how did this happen? is there a shiny red button that i wasn't supposed to touch? because i have to be honest here, i will ALWAYS press the shiny red button. it's shiny, for fuck's sake!

howsabout i treat myself to a reposting, eh?


Friday, November 03, 2006
odd things in my house

as the unpacking continues, things keep surfacing that give me pause. they're not the weirdest things ever considering the company i keep. these things just make me wonder what else i kept across all the moves. what more surpises await me?

things found so far:
three colors of feather boas
pants with holes in the crotch
a bottle of spirit gum
four thingies of deodorant
a tiny cuisinart (from the last tenant)
the infamous "dead teddy"
expired vitamins
value pack of shoelaces
some sparkly false eyelashes
oozing melted stress ball
a scented rosary
my old cracked cellphone
fifty thousand lipsticks
box filled with bottle caps
dried up gluesticks
mystery keys
a super fancy label maker
the remains of a tivo


it's not all terribly strange; just strange as to why some of it insists on following me all this way. look around... what's the oddest thing you've seen in your house lately?

posted by georgeious @ 11:55 PM

date night times two

ahhh, romance. love... exciting and new. come aboarrrrrd, we're expecting yoooooouuuu.

first comes gelato, then comes dinner, then comes us walking to the movies.

it's been a long time since i've seen a line outside of a movie. it's been even longer since i've seen shows sold out ahead of time. such was the case with "borat" on friday night. the place was absolutely packed! normally i'm used to going out for my little artfag movies and being in a theatre with about a dozen other people. sitting next to strangers and hearing the roar of a crowd whilst seeing a feeeeelllm is a new thing for me. nonetheless, we had a good time being out on a date and enjoyed the crazed sascha baron cohen at his nuttiest.

by the way, riso rice gelato rules. i think i'm addicted to gelato. it's so damn hard to find some of those flavors in just an ice cream or a frozen custard. do they even have frozen custard here? must put that on my "to find" list.

as if friday night weren't enough, derek got us tickets to the theatre saturday afternoon. yes, derek went to see yet another live show without even knowing anyone in it. it's a freakin' miracle, i tell you. AND we had fun! a few months ago scott had recommended for me to read the script for "thom pain" if i got a chance. instead, we got to see a production of this one man show. rating well on the EEE! scale, it's only about 75 minutes long and full of "speaking of scooby doo" left field script bits that interweave quite well. when is theatre club going to do this one? (hint hint)

on the way home we tromped through the rain to eat at dick's drive in. as a person who is not particularly a fan of plain fries, i gotta say they have some KICK ASS FRIES. this place is some sort of seattle legend as far as eating huts go. if the translucent sacks are any kind of testament to their happy greasy goodness then i'm all for it. woohoo for shitshack food.

see? i'm getting a life.

running with the crowd

it's halloooooooowwwwweeeeeeeeen - BOO!

today i got to be part of a group. it was KISS if you want to be exact about it. there were some people at work painting their faces and they needed another member to complete the band, so i was taken hostage. or can you call it being taken hostage if you gave your consent. enough quibbling... we'll just say that my forehead was kidnapped by some face paint but i happily went along for the ride. to be honest, i'm not really that knowledgable about the ins and outs of KISS, so i had to ask someone else which one i was when we were posing for the photo. (if they know anything, then i was ace) hey, if you're not a nutty fan and other people are already paul and gene, it can make you look like a real asshole that you have to stop and wonder who you are for halloween. fuck it. i have my mask on and i'm participating, even being sociable in the face of my own inner shyness/fear of rejection/anxiety. whoop a dee doo for me!

one other good thing of the day was lunch. i went out with a girl that i barely know from work to a nearby diner. success? mais oui. not only did i get up the nerve to ask someone to have lunch with me, but i got to have hash browns, fried eggs, and a lovely chat as my reward. after lunch i went back to work and even got candy. it's funny how a day can just fall into place sometimes.

but let's get something straight here:
when i say i'm not good with people, i mean just that. there is no humble veneer or sly wit to it. being around others can be exhausting for me because i lack certain filters that make me act "appropriately" for the situation. i have to think really hard most of the time about what it is i've obviously just said or did that left you standing there with your mouth hanging open or made you glare at me like that. it's not that i'm trying to be remedial; i just really have no idea how to behave most of the time. to me, that would qualify as being not good with people. while it's not that difficult to play off my social affliction as a penchant for snappy repartee and crazy nonsequitors, it is nonetheless uncomfortable. it might be just as uncomfortable (whether it's enduring me or encountering new social situations) for other people, but very few of them are letting on to that. i'm just going to go out on a limb and guess that being around people can suckity suck for just about anyone. some of us are just lucky to be oblivious enough to not notice that everyone is aghast and/or confused by our last comment. don't mistake bravery for the lack of being scared.

speaking of running with the awkward, i am part of another group of someones. although i don't really know those someones yet, i can tell you that we all park in the same garage and we all drive a volkswagen. it's KIS-MET! (a la norville's KAR-MAAAAA in the hudsucker proxy) everyone who parks here has one model or another! how's that for freaky freak? if one were still seeing signs, they might see this as a good one that we moved into the right building. i must say, i do like my little built-in window bench.

this is definitely motivation to look for more coincidence in my life.