31 May 2007

calling this meeting of the pissers to order

a while back, some of us online people formed an unofficial group of rabblerousing compainers called pissers. every now and then i remember why we did it.

after reading liz's WTF wednesday posting, something hit me. besides having to pull my eyes back down to their proper level because i had rolled them so much while sighing meaningfully that they finally just stuck that way, it became obvious that a stew was brewing. a stew filled with piss. no, not actual piss - just pissiness. disgruntled WTF pissiness.

then something else hit me. it was almost oddly enjoyable. see, here's the thing - i like getting pissed off. i like telling people to piss off. if they don't like it, well then piss on them. pissing and moaning is also a great hobby. maybe the word piss is the new fuck. like how i love to say "fucking fuckers" when people piss me off. i feel a certain fondness for saying "piss" on its own as an expletive. (or does it count as an interjection? maybe it's both! woohoooo!) i even feel gleeful when it's just the tamer "pee!" that i often belt out when i drop stuff at work.

so piss on this. piss on that. piss piss piss. gee, being disgruntled can be soothing and productive. who else wants to be a pisser with us? wanna join? you just gotta be pissy enough.

28 May 2007

compassion is soooooo unfair

how can i spend my time hating everyone when people are suddenly doing things that are kinda... well, a little bit, sort of... nice? what a fucking bitch that is for someone like me who has almost totally lost faith in other people. how the hell does one deal with the rekindling of common decency?!?

good things that have happened this week:
1. veronica bought plane tickets - she and her maaaaan are coming to see us (very soon) out here at the end of the world!
2. bacon sent me a postcard - this is a really big deal because, not only is she deathly afraid of the post office, but the postie was from overseas. wow. she went to a FOREIGN post office for us.
3. a "real change hobo" (the homeless people that sell the newspapers so they're actually doing some work and not just shaking cups at people) helped me carry groceries to the car. yes, of course i bought a paper and gave her a tip. she was working. on top of that, she honestly looked surprised and explained that no she had not helped me just so i would do that. how could i even begin to resist, though?
4. got a package from julie with a 25th anniversary heller shirt. just when i thought i had become but a mere memory in the arts, i feel like i still exist. yay.
5. one of derek's home-school friends, dorothy, went to brunch with us today. she was so overwhelmed by some good advice that she decided to buy all of our meals.
6. i'm getting a three day weekend. no, seriously. three whole days in a row that i don't have to go to work or deal with anybody's crap or be nice just to get paid. it's hard to remember the last time i had a job that gave me three whole days off in a row without begging for it. AND i'm even getting paid for not working on memorial day! this may sound dumb to some people, but it's a total first for me.
7. alice offered to give us exactly the new bed frame that we had considered buying a few months ago. for free!
8. linda let me cook her dinner and she ate all of it. not just to be polite. she liked it. it was edible, even if i hadn't given her wine. really. i even flipped stuff around in the pan without any major injuries.
9. mary just listened to me whine for, like, oh, an hour.

it's amazing how a person can get so used to people being abusive, negligent, entitled, oblivious, or just plain rude. the even more amazing part is how shocking a week filled with simple compassion can bring you to your knees. i must admit, the chain of events going on this week has certainly made it easier for me to be more... positive is defitinitely not the right word here. i am, after all, me. grumbling is a sport in my world. perhaps hopeful? ewwww. that's still kind of a lie, too. maybe it's just sort of easier to see possibilities. i like possibilities.

that's probably why i try foods that i know i don't like. if you'd asked me about sushi a few short years ago, you'd have seen a skrinkled up face and hear someone saying "no no no!!!" these days i get cravings for it. even derek has conquered his fears of both spinach and tomatoes, if only on a limited basis. hey, he's willing - i can't fault him for still being picky at this point. maybe i'll eat chocolate with joy someday. there is always a possibility.

but i still don't think i'm going to stop my grumbling and disgruntledness. what would i do for my cardio if i weren't constantly bitching?

media consumptions of the week:
movie - keeping up with the steins
book - weird ideas that work
music - pink martini
web - craigslist overload, idiotgirls.com
magazines - f1 racing, ok!

24 May 2007

it's not that i don't want to talk to you...

each time i mean to call someone lately - because i DO mean to call people on occasion -
there seems to be an impediment. most days i come home from work and keep meaning to call friends. then it happens: a quick stop in the living room to relax for a minute followed by a super bubba sleeper hold. next thing i know, hours have passed and i've been drooling on the mini sofa with the cats. my nap time is totally interfering with my social life.

besides that, there is the time zone thing. it's two or three hours later in the cities i want to call,
so by the time i get back up and remember who i was supposed to be on the phone with, it's way too late there. sheesh, i'm a shitty friend. and an insomniac the rest of the time. that's probably because i sleep when i'm not supposed to and don't sleep when i'm supposed to be sleeping.

nap. stay up late. go to work early. get tired. nap.

it's a vicious circle that should clear itself up on the weekends. it should, right? you'd think so, wouldn't you? beh, i know i should just "go to bed early" once in a while to try and get everything back in order. that would seem to be the solution, if only my body would cooperate. damn weird body.

so, since i've missed calling the people i was going to call, let me say congratulations to mary and tim on their new house. let me say that i'm excited about veronica's upcoming visit. let me say hello to everyone else who i haven't been calling because i'm asleep at odd times. and let me say that i'm grateful for holly's corresponding insomnia. without it i would surely never to talk any of my people.

i'll call you later. really, i will. zzzzzz.....

the best thing we did this week:
cut off a ferrari in traffic because he was was going too slow and yapping away on his ferrari-logo-emblazened cell phone (i kid you not) and trying to look cool. but we were way cooler in the bug. go bug go!!!

22 May 2007

short little note

did you know that this place has an entire weekend festival devoted to cheese? holy crap! it's all about the cheese!!! we went for a very brief drive by, only to be overwhelmed by the massive crowds in the market. beh, we don't need no stinking festical weekend. we already know of one or two different places around to get the good stuff. don't you worry about me and my cheese supply.

there is one thing i must say: i love the tv show heroes. it frikkin' makes me cry. yes yes, we know how many things - most things, really - make me cry; let's not go to that special cool runnings spot this evening. (and let's not talk about that next top model finale, either.) heroes is different. we just watched the finale of the season and wow. wow wow wow! that's all i can say.

what i'm looking forward to:
the police!
laurie notaro's new book
hogging the bed

19 May 2007

shoe meditations

oh goodness, help me help me
for i am becoming a (fancy) shoe whore
temptation smirks at me
shoe demons be gone!

let me just say one thing in my own defense. we found two spiffy pairs of shoes for derek, both on sale, including a pair of boots for when his toesies get cold. it's all about him. yeah that's right, he is dah maaaaan. AND we got a really good deal. like, no, really, i mean it. like it would make you scream if you knew. i already did. seriously.

maybe i shouldn't have gone to the fluevog party. you know what? i'm a VIP - i can't help myself! as ugly betty might say, "i've never even been an IP before." so there we were, having a great time just innocently socializing and browsing. they had a spread of veggies and meats and cheeses that gave me an entire meal! they fed me cookies and gave me sodie pop. our friend milana met us there and we all felt extra posh as stevenson and roland waited on us like we were movie stars. hey, so what if i know them by name?!? i'll tell you one thing about those vog stores: they make you feel super fancy without ever being snotty in the least.

next thing i knew, someone named sandra stared me down with those little pink eyes and that cappucino body. she wouldn't relent until i caressed her and walked all over her. she cooed and cuddled. she slinked around with a certain prancing effervescence. she begged me call her my own, threatening to stalk me until the end of days. there was simply no way to shake that sweet gaze and alluring figure without having massive regrets. she called to me just one last time, beckoning to me, "take me with you and i'll put the whole world at your feet."

what's a girl to do, eh? she's with me this very second, massaging my toes and telling me how i'm the pretty pretty princess of the world. purrrrrrrr. she is the butter on my potato, baby. me and my fresh new vogs are going to be very happy together.

seredipitous themes this week:
the go-go's

17 May 2007

has it really been that long?

so i took a break. not a "woe to me, i am soooooooo depressed" break this time, but just a break from my rambling. it just so happened that i didn't have much to say. work, eat, sleep, blah blah bitty blah. to and fro, to and fro. like grover says: now i am near... and now i am far. it was grover, wasn't it?

since i've been so neglectful in posting anything cool, mary has been holding the GIRLFEST '07 photos hostage. are ya happy now mary? are you?!?! HUH?!? ARE YOU?!?! (fine fine, i know she's actually just busy as hell with the moving thing) my camera wasn't charged before i left seattle and i then got too lazy to take any pictures when i stopped off in tulsa. ah, but the memories. if you haven't sat around watching something like "sisterhood of the travelling pants" with some good friends while snacking with a vengeance, you haven't properly lived.

let's see, has anything else special happened? oh yeah, there is that one little thing. derek and i spent the weekend in celebration of our fifteenth anniversary together. yes, you did read that right. and what, you ask, could one do for such a fantabulous occasion? why, they dig out their long lost entertainment book and go coupon happy! we had so much buy one get one free action going on that i think we've finally become one person. adding nerdiness to frugality, we whipped out our aaa card at the drop of a hat. "excuse me, but does THIS make any difference in the total?" we are the cheapest bastards in the universe. last year we did free stuff, the year before that we used it as a tax deduction for business, and next year you can probably bet that we're headed straight for the early bird special. or maybe just happy hour.

free or cheap stuff we did this weekend:
seattle storm basketball game
wa state history museum
nachos! nachos! nachos!
stared at hamsters at the pet store
played pool with friends
sci-fi museum
experience music project
dick's drive-in

fif-frikkin-teen. yep, the sci-fi museum was definitely the place to go for that. i saw captain kirk's old chair!!!

in other news, we're cruising for a bigger place come september. our window-ridden apartment is cute and cozy, but we could both use some extra room to spread our wings. i would like to have just a bit more square footage at a decent price. it's that second part of the equation that gets tricky. rent around here is a doozy. not so bad as it was in crapifornia, but still quite a chunk. i'm keeping my eyes (and my options) open to see what's out there for us. oh holy fuck, i just don't even want to ponder on moving that fishtank again! if you thought the file cabinets were bad, try hauling around wet sand and random fish stuff until your arms get longer. glub glub glub. anyone got new ideas for us?

my latest musical purchases:
nat king cole - a must have
the new BJORK - it's simply faboo!!!