my hard candy shell

after surviving the post-blackout traffic jam from hell last night, i forced derek to take me out for sushi. we went out with milana and dustin and a couple of their friends to a place in queene anne and had a good time chatting and eating. milana and i realized that, although we've known each other for some time now, we barely know one another at all.

funny to think how you can be acquainted with a person for months - even years - and hardly know a thing about them. although it might sound odd, this is how i feel about many of the people i know... and this is also how they feel about me. how often i've heard the refrain that i'm a "hard person to know" or that it takes a while to learn much of anything about me. it's a true observation, of course, as i tend to play the reality of me a bit close to the vest, even when my more shallow and gregarious side would make things seem otherwise. it's not that i'm trying to play it cool. i just take a while to sincerely warm to others. besides, no one has time to become bestest buddies with everyone they encounter. we all tend to gravitate one way or another and end up focusing on a more intimate group of comrades.

so far my group in seattle is somewhat nonexistent. i have a few people that i like to spend time with, and even one that i feel as if i've known for years. then again, i have known her for years, just not in person until recently. but i digress... the effort required in making new friends is difficult. i've heard it compared to "dating without kissing" by genevieve, and she's damn right. people who think i don't recall what it's like to be single can now rejoice in the fact that i most definitely and immediately can identify with your plight.

but then i do have my real friends to keep me company when i'm down. to you peeps that are my peeps: i like you. i really hope i know at least a little bit about you and you about me. if you do, you're probably laughing at me for that. i know i am.


"bad" movie stars i adore:
keanu reeves
greg kinnear
mark wahlberg