30 January 2007

let's blame it on mary's batteries being poopoo because i dont want to admit that i'm not sophisticated enough to figure out how to work this thing...

...and anyway, even though i know you don't need batteries to put photos into a computer, i'm going to just play it off like we can't get it done without them. yeah! that's the way it is! no batteries = no postings of pics onto mary's blog until she gets back to NC and sorts out all the wonderful shots into a flickr album and we can gaze uopn them with awe and wonder. oooooh. ahhhhh.

other than that, here's the big update. ever hear of a game back in the 80's called "run yourself ragged" that was this weird conglomeration of board game and obstacle course and mousetrap-esque oddness? that's what is going on around here. it's crazy. it's freaky. it's super duper fun! we haven't even written this week because we're having so much fun getting sauced up like crack whores. oh wait. i mean... because we're out getting souvenirs. okay fine. so the truth is that we're dorking out and eating like teenage boys on a weight gain plan while pointing "oooh, loookeee!" just about everywhere we go. in between outings we veg out in pajamas and watch bad tv. yep, it's a great vacation.

25 January 2007

sweetmeat, you look vuurry vurryyy pritty toonaight


you know what today is, don't you? today is the day that mary comes to seattle! this could be the reason why i'm having a hard time getting sleepy; as if i need another excuse to stay up late, since i do that anyway. derek is going to pick her up this morning. then he can show off our new house and entertain her until i get off work and burst forth with tears of joy.

mary is bringing her digital camera and a big suitcase. now we can load her up with fluevogs and take lots of pictures. of course, i have no idea how to get the fucking photos to appear on the computer, so you'll have to depend on her for the visuals. i embrace my suckage to the fullest... but i will watch and try to figure out how to work these fancy newfangled type things and make note for future use.

in preparation for mary's visit, we have done some cleaning/rearranging. there was a slight feng shui attack, induced by the new sofa, and i've been itching to put the kitchen table up and get some more space going on in here. at some point after we moved in here, it would be safe to say that we simply gave up on unpacking. although we kept on cleaning up after ourselves and making the space we were using tidy, we were neglecting to even look in any more boxes. "making a dent" has been our theme for the week. yes i do know that mary loves me no matter what. i also know that we're getting sick of just having shit all over the place. thus, in the wake of converging factors, we were inspired to at least consolidate the mass. at least four boxes left the house. yay!

in honor of cleaning, i got new stuff. or derek got me new stuff. but it's just a little thing - it's only one dvd! seems that they've finally put "the kathy and mo show" out on dvd (with parallel lives and the dark side!) and he surprised me with it last night. eee! let the obsessive behaviour begin! i've already watched a ton of the two-disc set and i'm sure mary will want to veg out on some hank and karen sure with me. on our new sofa. in our less cluttered house. while being goofy. with mary. EEEEE!!!

chick lit i'm enjoying this week:
polly by amy bryant

22 January 2007

get off thy butt, huh?

a few things i did this weekend that i did not do at all last weekend:
get dressed each morning
read a book
leave the house
socialize with people, in person
feed my creative urges
brush my hair

it was kind of a lowly week. in spite of getting the news that mary is coming to seattle, i was still inexplicably being a bit of a bummer. it did hit me that i should try doing something besides my mute staring at the wall, so we got out to see sights and be fabulous. i'm almost cheerful today. yes, i know. it really is a scary thought.

most of the time that i feel pathetic is becuse i'm hell bent on feeling pathetic and getting stuck in it until i'm all mucky with blechiness. though that might sound so very obvious, it's an elusive mystery when i'm in the middle of staring. (and i don't mean the good kind of staring, zhen. i mean the pitifully ho hum, breathe a heavy sigh now and then while slouching painfully sort.) even when i don't want to leave the house, i should peel myself from the floor and get out. even for a minute or two. even just to take out the trash. if nothing else, i can be adding steps to my new pedometer.

anyhooo, the scupture park downtown had a big to-do this weekend for its opening. we walked around the park with some of derek's "home school" people for a couple of hours and had a nice brunch afterwards. it was pretty clear and sunny so we decided it would be a good idea to enjoy the weather. there was a nice balance between the sun on my back and the cold breezes coming off the water. while the sculptures were a bit of hit and miss, the walk turned out to be enjoyable.

bonnie and kelly took us out to breakfast this morning at a great place with real chicken fried steak. who knew a plate full of grease and flour could turn out to be such a delicacy? the morning was also nice just because we got around to a different part of town and found a few new things. we haven't been as keen on exploring new parts of seattle as we should be lately. hopefully i can explore even more once mary gets here.

and ooooooh, you'll be so proud of me. i made plans with a girl from work - this involved having a new person in my new house, which scares the shit out of me these days - and then actually followed up on them without turning chicken. she came over and we watched some foamy the squirrel cartoons. we had coffee and even sat around gluing things together. we made posties and stuff! she had a great appreciation for my adhesive collection and almost purred when i showed off my many colors of sharpies. this could be someone who will actually come over again. and i can't wait to see how those bottle cap creations turn out over the next day or two.

maybe i'm just trying to gear up for being around mary again. it's been so long since i've been able to just hang out with one of my long-lost peeps. yes, there is derek, but i swear he needs a break from being the only one to get me. it'll be nice to be around someone who makes me feel completely at ease, someone who needs no explanation or apology for my shoddy behaviour. (mary, i will still apologize anyway whne i'm being a total loser. really. i promise. no, i mean it!) i have a couple of people here who don't make me feel self-conscious, but she's had a lot more time to understand and be totally unfazed. she also makes the same squeaky noise when we spot something cute at the same time. EEE!

things i did not do this weekend that i was supposed to do:
go to target
mail a certain long letter
clean the bathroom
practice playing my keyboard

hey, sorry. there is only so much a girl can get done and still make time to do the good kind of staring. what the hell did you expect? a total reform? pffft.

songs that choke me up every time:
here comes the sun
don't dream it's over
the other end of the telescope
every time we say goodbye

18 January 2007

shameless ad for tanya

want some of tanya's treats for vd? (or any old time) click on the blog of the forgotten wonder triplet at the left and go mad with goodies.

trust me, i've had her faboo cookies - she added the no choco stuffs just for people like me! - and other assorted candies plenty of times. she's a formally trained pastry chef with a penchant for feeding people neat stuff. oooh la la, nummy.

stages of homesickness - part one

there are some days where it's difficult for me to leave the house. it's much easier to sit here and feel sorry for myself while shuffling about in pajamas and aimlessly wallowing. i'm relieved about the move away from suckifornia. i'm pleased about the way things are going for me at work. this city is an okay place and all, but... but... well...

so what's a girl to do when feeling so very ho hum?

viewer warning:
the following is an actual train of thought that comes upon me when i'm in this sadsack state of mind. i am a trained expert. do not try this at home.

"ugh, i'm in a new place again and nobody likes me. i wish i could just call someone to come over and keep me company while i do the dishes. if i were around my people i would just drag one of them out to go look at stuff and we could have a good time just making fun of people. maybe i should try that with people now, but it just takes so much energy to make friends and be sociable. it's so hard just to be around people and feel like i'm not alienating them. oh hell. i really am alienating them. how will i know unless i call them up and invite them out? i don't want to have anyone over to the house because i haven't finished unpacking. i don't even want to finish unpacking. waht do i need friends here for anyway? i can just call one of the friends i already have and talk to them while i clean the house. but i don't really feel like cleaning the house either. oooh, look at that. my belt can go in another notch. guess that means i can eat some cookies now. how about i get out the cheese and the remote control and just stare into space for a while? i really should get out of the house more and make an effort. other people should be making the effort with me because i'm funny. i'm damn funny. people have a great time when they're around me... unless i'm being a bummer. am i a bummer? is that why i have no friends? wait a minute, i have some people i could call and they would want to get out and do something. ugh, then i have to think of something to do. it's so much easier to just not do it. i like being in my pajamas. if i go out then i would have to pick out clothes and brush my hair. i'll just clean the house. maybe someone will call while i'm cleaning and entertain me. why do i even bother trying to meet new people when it takes so much effort? you know, i'd rather just spend some time alone anyway. unless someone calls me... but i hate being on the phone, so i can only talk for so long. then i'll be all alone again except for derek being in the house. is he getting sick of me yet? he's always in the house. i wish he would leave for a while so i could be alone. i'm never alone anymore, but i hate talking to people. maybe he'll leave so i can shuffle around without any guilt. i hate it when he catches me just staring into space and thinking really hard about nothing. it beats getting out there and bring frustrated with everything. things are so frustrating. fuck fuck fuck. maybe i'll just sit here and feel sorry for myself because no one likes me. that's why they don't call. don't they know i don't want to go out anyway? i hate going to bars and that's all people want to do. ick. let's go do something else once i get dressed. i have some jeans that are clean and i can always wear a hat so that i don't have to mess with my hair. how is it that people spend their time? i think i'll just sit here and then take out the trash later on. oh jeez, i'm probably just going to take a nap. then i'll be up late again and all sleepy tomorrow. i don't have plans for tomorrow anyway so who cares if i'm napping. maybe i'll check my email again. maybe i'll go see what's in the kitchen and make some coffee. oh i'm so unmotivated right now. no wonder i don't have any friends, but people really do like me, you know. of forget it. fuck."

and so on and so on. it gets way more pathetic as the day goes on, but you get the general idea of it. see, you're not the only one who thinks like that. speaking of scooby doo, that whole ramble reminds me of more napping. or sleeping. or something like where i'm not up all night.

the funniest snippet of this week's phone calls:
me - a real character, huh?
maegan - and i've known a few good ones in my life. some really crazy ones. i've even been taught how to douche by another woman in spanglish.
me - did you say in spanglish? what?!?

16 January 2007

EEEEEEEE!!! my girl!

mary is coming to seattle! we'll finally get to have one of our people in our new city to hang out and be goofy. ooooweeeee, i am ever so counting the days. then we can plan my trip to north carolina for her birthday, too. wheeze, squeal, eee!

11 January 2007

top three of the week

here's a brief list of some faboo happenings as of late. okay, so maybe it's not the most going-out-painting-the-town kind of stuff, but it's gripping. oh, how you'll keep on readin just to see what happens next. it's enthralling shit, man. go on and get engrossed. you know you want to. since three is the magic number, i'll make a whole theme of it for you. voila!

top three bizarro customers at work:
1. manly stanley voiced fiftyish woman looking for books "taken away by the police for being so dangerous" and her theories on osama bin laden. what an hour.
2. flashdance/fame dressed crazy girl who answered our phone and "helped" the customers. when she was kicked out, her parting words were something like "thanks for being a bloody mary... i'll see you in my pants. do you want my asshole too?"
3. soccer mom style woman who very politely made me call an 800 number and go through the motions on a computer for about fifteen minutes so she could use a coupon. but then she was grateful to a fault and even more sweet as pie afterwards. how odd.

top three new tastes:
1. queen sheba ethiopian restaurant. way better service than i've ever gotten in this type of establishment. we even got more water without having to beg. too bad they were out of the gored gored for the evening.
2. wasabi funyuns. spicy junk-fud. need i say more?
3. yak burgers on toasted pannini-like bread. i'd have to say that it was awfully similar to buffalo meat. in fact, we mused that it might even be buffalo (or even beefalo, which is a new discovery as well) and they were just bullshitting us. it was nice and juicy, though.

top three songs that i keep humming for no reason:
1. froggy went a-courtin and he did ride, uh huuuhhhhhhhh. shit, i don't even know any more to that stinking song. what the fuck?!?
2. que sera sera, which makes me want to rent the movie "heathers" and eat twizzlers. by the way, i heart shannen doherty... because she's so bitchy. not in spite of the fact. so there.
3. god only knows - and that's the name of the song, not the thing i think when i'm humming it to myself. this song is so sweet that i can't believe it's a beach boys thing. who knew i could get that on stuck in my personal radio station for days on end?
(***in fact, most of the songs i've been humming are ones that i only vaguely know some of the words to, so getting stuck in a loop is common until i realize that humming out loud and thinking about lyrics do not have to necessarily go together. i'm also on a huge tony bennett kick right now. go figure.)

top three cuteness moments:
1. not realizing i was singing (which had morphed from the humming) and totally getting caught doing it, both at work and at home. i've got the music in me this week, i suppose.
2. stuart bonding with me of his own free will. we've been hanging out since my sickness and blehhh from last weekend. he even comes by and gives me a leg nudge in the living room now. the leg nudge has gone beyond the kitchen! he likes me now!
3. derek got us pedometers from america on the move. now we can see if we're big fat fucking lazy bastards or not. he's encouraging me and being all proud of how many steps i take in a day. shut up and love it. shut. up. it's cuuuuute.

top three messages i liked from my peeps:
1. veronica's email about cheese on a stick. just ask her. travis did it and this thing is fucking funny as all hell. maybe we can get this thing published.
2. email about a thread from my brother chris. it was the story of a backyard picnic redneck bee genocide entitled "oh dear lord! bees!" google it now.
3. message from bonnie calling me THE AGITATOR because it snowed in the seattle area again last night. she has someone to blame for bizarre weather now that i live here. heehehehhehehe.

that's about as exciting as it gets for now.

tony bennett rocks:
because i adore the song "smile"

a bit pretty

i am not the beautiful one in the family. never have been. and for many years i was the type of girl that men would cross the room to speak with so that they could ask me if the friend standing next to me was single. there have also been a few incidences of lasting effect involving practical jokes being played by the cool kids back in my school days.

not that i let this stop me from becoming the slutty, always got a new boyfriend kind of girl as a reached an age where boys no longer had cooties. in fact, i was quite the flirtatious little trollop for some time. it's amazing how little one has to do to cultivate a bad reputation. it never bothered me, though. just one more way it made things easier when it came to getting a date.

these days i think i'm somewhere in between. though no longer the ho-bag that i proudly wore the badge of in the past, i am still a flirt. though not the prettiest one on my block, i would have to say that my looks could easily be considered quite striking. yep, i'm appealing. i'm in balance as to my squeezy bits. i have a look of my own, one that is definitely not u-g-l-y and you ain't got no alibi. i have my yucky days, but i am learning to live with how i look and who i am on the outside. and if i feel like a bump on a log, there's always the fashion thing. i have great taste in socks.

cutey patootie me.

last thing i looked up on wikipedia:
peanut butter jelly time

08 January 2007

lost and found downtown

the funniest thing i've seen all week:
as is my usual practice these days, i was out for a walk during lunch. it's nice to get some fresh air and stretch my legs, do a little people watching in the downtown area. on my way back to work i passed two people on their cellphones. they both seemed to be looking for someone, and each of them was on the exact same street corner. as they spoke, my grand skills of celldropping (beware to those of you that speak loudly in public places) told me that they were actually speaking to each other.

"hey where are you? i thought we were meeting up."
"i'm right on the corner. where are you? i can't find you."
"I'M on the corner. which corner? wait a minute. i think i can hear you."
"where ARE you?"

each of them was spinning around with the precision timing that assured they would not see the other one. as one would turn and crane a neck in this direction, the other would crane in that direction with backs towards each other in the most hilarious ballet of missed connections. they kept on doing this until they realized, by some chance, that they were indeed only about ten feet away from one another.

once they found each other, the both of them gave a sheepish glance around to see if anyone had noticed their complete idiocy. i managed to cross the street without blatantly giggling in their faces. i only wonder now if they had the smarts to make it back to where they came from without getting lost. now THAT is some comedy.

who we went out with tonight:
milana... to go and eat ethiopian food!

blehhhhh-sicky girl says CHEEEEEEESE!

excuse me for my extended stepping out. i had been getting in the habit of writing a little something every day or two until i found myself face fist in the living room floor for a few days. really, i like to sleep on the floor. it makes me feel better when i'm a pathetic little sicky baby. if only i had vacuumed up some of that cat hair before i fell asleep in it. by the time i woke up on saturday morning (on the floor of the only room in the house with carpeting) i looked like a human hairball. where do they get all this hair?!? shouldn't they be bald by now?

if not for the package i got this weekend, it may have been a festival of "oh, i'm a big wussy but i really don't feel good and could you make me a fried egg because i'm hungry and you love me" in the house. after getting home on friday i passed out and didn't leave, or even get dressed again, until this evening. i'm telling you, when i'm not feeling well all sense of personal appearance goes away and all thoughts go right to gnawing on some red meat and cheese. this brings me to my point, as i got a whopping box filled with cheese-o-rama happiness from julie. seriously. it had like four pounds of cheese, including a spready thing with horseradish that is super good. did i mention that someone has obviously been paying attention?

mmm, cheese and avocado sammich sounds really good right now. julie rocks like the way hot chick at a heavy metal arena concert judas priest tailgate party. woohooo!!!

i'd better lay off a little before my gift starts cutting into my social life via my digestive system. not that i'm intolerant or anything, but some pretense of moderation would probably be better for me than a wild rampage of dairy. besides - it CHEESE. it's not like the mighty but somewhat fussy avocado that goes bad faster than it should. i'll be the first to defend the honor of the avocado, but holy bejeezus that is one touchy fruit of the earth. it is a fruit. i think.

did i ever tell you about the time i had a dream about being lactose intolerant? it was not pretty. it involved many tears, some continuing even after i awoke and had to think about a life without cheese. ::: shudder :::

what film i saw after leaving the house:
children of men (brace yourself for this one)

01 January 2007

happy happy happy happy happy anniversary

you saw "so i married an axe murderer" and now you're singing along, aren't you? yes you are. you know it. stop lying. now go into a "happy happy joy joy" medley with the end of it. you are totally rockin' out now. thanks. for a second there, we almost thought you had forgotten.

question: if you get married at the nightingale at the stroke of midnight during a new year's eve party, when exactly should you celebrate by eating cake? we couldn't decide either, so we started yesterday and then threw in a little barfy loving sweetness and gazing looks this evening... just to cover our bases, ya know.

yes, i do still like him. as far as i know, he is still willing to put up with me. hooray for us. awwww, ain't that cuuuuute?

cheep cheep cheep - inspired by yet another documentary on wal-mart in taking over the world and how i feel bad when i get what i want for myself

when i stopped to think about it earlier today, i realized that i have finally learned how to spend some money on myself. not the kind of spending that equals a few stickers and a nice meal, either, but not any outrageously irresponsible consumerism.

the thing is, there aren't a lot of things that i need. as of late, there seem to be fewer things that i even want, but i do try to make it count when i buy. there were some dvd purchases that i made with a half off coupon. we got those fancy shoes that will last until the end of time, but the guy was nice and gave us a deal; it was sort of a bonus since i was prepared to pay full price to get the exact shoes i wanted. the calendar on the wall was clearanced out... as luck would have it, this calendar is the same one i thought about getting last year.

it's great to save money when you can, but it's nice to be able to spend a bit on yourself when you really like something. i really enjoyed my trip home and even managed not to stress about the cash i spent. maybe i could put off some media purchases, and maybe i shouldn't go out for lunch once a week.

so fucking what. so. fucking. what.

and furthermore, there is more to life than being cheap. (no, i'm not even going to call it frugal here. frugal has flair. i'm talking about being cheap with yourself.) i don't want to become the human version of a wal-mart supercenter. no one ever lived a happy life by confining themselves to an existence that equals a 9 cent can of creamed corn.

yes, i will continue to "chintz out" and be frugal on things. i'll still shop mostly on the endcaps at target and look for things that are a decent bargain. i have no qualms whatsoever about getting my jeans from the clearance rack. reuse will continue to be a major staple in my vocabulary. will i cry when i get a new pair of socks and the buyer's remorse starts to tug at me before i even pay? NO. well, not much. well, i'll try to leave the store before i cry. so.fucking.what. right? i can afford to splurge on some nice things, some fun things, some shit that i like.

besides, i have a raging case of charity and gifting that evens out the couch i'm eventually going to buy. yes i am! i'm getting a couch one of these days! we have it narrowed down and we're almost ready to commit. WE WILL HAVE A COUCH!

what i did at work today:
stared at merchandising lists