11 June 2007

that's my soul up there... or, sting is a floppy twat

another brief police note:
in honor of derek, let it be said that sting is a jazzy artfag. he is the kind of musician that takes lemons and makes a marmalade chock full of zest. during the show this week, we were ready for some rockin' when it came to some of the police's most famous songs. i'm all for improvisation and updating, but there were a few things that could've been more interesting. the most hurtful one for derek was the strangest fucking version of "roxanne" in the world, that you can probably google or youtube at your leisure. if memory serves me, derek's spleen began to cry about halfway through the neverending masturbation of sound that was the so-called update. let's all take a moment and bow our heads to derek's innards and their pain.

oh, and sting flounces around like an eight year old girl. who is high on halloween candy. and wearing a bright pink tutu for her first dance recital. just so you know. sex appeal is a very bizarre thing. really.... flounced. like, all fluffy like and stuff. that man shakes his hips like a sex trade prostitute who would suck a dick just for a bazooka joe comic.

now that your disturbing mental images are hurting you on the inside, i can tell about the absolute nuttiest formula one race that we watched today. this year's canadian grand prix! while i'm pretty sure i wouldn't be ruining anything for anyone i know, it would be rude to bore you with all the details. what i can say is that the snooze-o-rama that was monte carlo has been redeemed in spades. we're fairly giddy with anticipation to see what happens next.

on the real estate front, we had a productive fact-finding mission today. we only ran away screaming like banshees on fire about... fifty times so far. ahh yes. isn't it fun to look for a place to live that you can call your own? of course, once you find that perfect hovel, you can then commence all the worrying that goes with it about wall colors and insurance and whether or not you're in the ghetto and no one told you. how i look forward to fretting for no apparent reason about why we don't have a garden hose. (perhaps because we've been apartment living it for most of our adult lives?) and who knows how i've lived this long without obsessing over a billion mortgage details. is this fun or what? no wonder some people would rather hop couches and keep all their stuff in a storage locker.

nevertheless, there are a few front runners - mostly in figuring out what we're looking for in a home - amongst what we've seen and some parameters have most assuredly been defined. ever notice how it's sometimes easier to figure out what you DON'T want before you can figure out what you really do want? go ahead. ask me what i want. uhhhhhh... duhhhhhhhh... hmmmmm.... welll.... lemme think about it. now ask me what i don't want. doubtful you'd have time for that conversation. i wish i knew why it works that way.

if you can explain that one, maybe you can clue me in as to why my new haircut is giving me superspowers. i can cook! i'm way funnier! i can be decisive! i want to be active and eat better food! i'm a teensy bit motivated! i feel so much more like me again! let's hold off "sixth grade self" for as long as possible, shall we? she's been bumming me out with all her confusion and whining. and let's definitely not invite her the next time we have a party. le sigh. we should all be so lucky to get magic haircuts.


random fact about me:
i hate toenails. they're yucky and odd. eww.

5 comments:

lizgwiz said...

I don't care if Sting flounces around like a little girl, I still love him. Flounce away, sexy man!

You don't have a garden hose? What's WRONG with you? (Hee.)

Hey, if you get a house with a yard, you can get a DOG! The cats would love it!

Mary said...

SATO!!!!!!!! :D And yay for Lewis Hamilton! And Alex Wurtz, too! And yay for the marmot for survivng its dash across the track!

As for the real estate madness ... heh. I feel for ya, babe. I think I may have done permanent damage to my brain during that whole mess. But don't worry yet about garden hoses & stuff like that. Maybe you'll get lucky like we did & the owners will leave you all of their garden equipment! We didn't even have to buy a rake! WEE!

Tim says that you caught Real Estate Madness from me. Yes, you were certainly *interested* in real estate before, but it crossed over into MADNESS once you came over & started breathing the same air as me. To that notion, all I can say is ... well ... sorry, Derek! ;)

georgeious said...

A. don't get me wrong - i heart sting even if he is a twat.

B. if i got a dog, the cats would eat it!

C. i've had real estate madness for quite a while, so mary doesn't actually have to take the rap for it.

D. SATO!!!

Anonymous said...

New hAIRcut??? Who said you could do that -nxn

georgeious said...

eee! it looks just like my "jimmyfallon" blue hair on the postcard, except a bright red. you're just jealous, you old coot.