top three of the week

here's a brief list of some faboo happenings as of late. okay, so maybe it's not the most going-out-painting-the-town kind of stuff, but it's gripping. oh, how you'll keep on readin just to see what happens next. it's enthralling shit, man. go on and get engrossed. you know you want to. since three is the magic number, i'll make a whole theme of it for you. voila!

top three bizarro customers at work:
1. manly stanley voiced fiftyish woman looking for books "taken away by the police for being so dangerous" and her theories on osama bin laden. what an hour.
2. flashdance/fame dressed crazy girl who answered our phone and "helped" the customers. when she was kicked out, her parting words were something like "thanks for being a bloody mary... i'll see you in my pants. do you want my asshole too?"
3. soccer mom style woman who very politely made me call an 800 number and go through the motions on a computer for about fifteen minutes so she could use a coupon. but then she was grateful to a fault and even more sweet as pie afterwards. how odd.

top three new tastes:
1. queen sheba ethiopian restaurant. way better service than i've ever gotten in this type of establishment. we even got more water without having to beg. too bad they were out of the gored gored for the evening.
2. wasabi funyuns. spicy junk-fud. need i say more?
3. yak burgers on toasted pannini-like bread. i'd have to say that it was awfully similar to buffalo meat. in fact, we mused that it might even be buffalo (or even beefalo, which is a new discovery as well) and they were just bullshitting us. it was nice and juicy, though.

top three songs that i keep humming for no reason:
1. froggy went a-courtin and he did ride, uh huuuhhhhhhhh. shit, i don't even know any more to that stinking song. what the fuck?!?
2. que sera sera, which makes me want to rent the movie "heathers" and eat twizzlers. by the way, i heart shannen doherty... because she's so bitchy. not in spite of the fact. so there.
3. god only knows - and that's the name of the song, not the thing i think when i'm humming it to myself. this song is so sweet that i can't believe it's a beach boys thing. who knew i could get that on stuck in my personal radio station for days on end?
(***in fact, most of the songs i've been humming are ones that i only vaguely know some of the words to, so getting stuck in a loop is common until i realize that humming out loud and thinking about lyrics do not have to necessarily go together. i'm also on a huge tony bennett kick right now. go figure.)

top three cuteness moments:
1. not realizing i was singing (which had morphed from the humming) and totally getting caught doing it, both at work and at home. i've got the music in me this week, i suppose.
2. stuart bonding with me of his own free will. we've been hanging out since my sickness and blehhh from last weekend. he even comes by and gives me a leg nudge in the living room now. the leg nudge has gone beyond the kitchen! he likes me now!
3. derek got us pedometers from america on the move. now we can see if we're big fat fucking lazy bastards or not. he's encouraging me and being all proud of how many steps i take in a day. shut up and love it. shut. up. it's cuuuuute.

top three messages i liked from my peeps:
1. veronica's email about cheese on a stick. just ask her. travis did it and this thing is fucking funny as all hell. maybe we can get this thing published.
2. email about a thread from my brother chris. it was the story of a backyard picnic redneck bee genocide entitled "oh dear lord! bees!" google it now.
3. message from bonnie calling me THE AGITATOR because it snowed in the seattle area again last night. she has someone to blame for bizarre weather now that i live here. heehehehhehehe.

that's about as exciting as it gets for now.


tony bennett rocks:
because i adore the song "smile"