so, in an effort to assure myself that i'm not really grad school material, i've been investigating grad schools this week. you know what i've figured out so far? there are a lot of forms and rules and all that whatnot in most of the programs. it doesn't sound like much fun. in fact, there aren't even many programs that even caught my attention for more than a click through moment on the internet.
click. click. click. close window. new google search. "the cheap and shitty graduate degree program that doesn't care if you hate grades but love education and will take you even if you suck at following the rules" hmmm, no relevant results, but a terrific link i'm going to bookmark with some snarky one liners that make me giggle. maybe i should just enter quickie degree mill and hope for the best? click. click. how about a banner ad school? perhaps a game of darts with the back pages of psychology today would yield better research results than actually trying. it'll prolly take me at least a year to even decide if i want to go on with my schooling anyway. i'm obviously in no rush to pick out another degree program.
there is a professor who entertained me immensely during my degree process. when he told me that i would be a good candidate for graduate school, my reply was simple and to the point. "HAVE YOU MET ME?!?" he laughed and explained that my penchant for being a pain in the butt about the rules was what made me such a good student. i didn't care about being on the honor roll or impressing anyone with my marks, but i was there to learn something and teach it to others. here i was, publicly declaring that as long as i passed i didn't care what else happened, all the while tutoring other people and asking provocative questions in class just to get a decent discussion going.
quite surprisingly, my advisor gave me the same to do in the last weeks of the semester. this made me suspicious, as if they had conspired to recruit more people into academia. he told me that i would be great in education and should consider getting a higher certification so that i could go into teaching on a university level. what? who ever heard of a teacher that hates school? these people must be seeing something in me that i can't begin to fathom. the whole "dance, monkey, dance" thing about academics makes me nutty. if can teach after just getting my BS in BS (really, that's what it is - no kidding) by the skin of my teeth, that should be good enough for me. if there's a loophole out there that will let me put this to use in an educational way and make enough money to buy the cat food, damn straight i can find it and use it to my advantage. that's what college really taught me. loopholes and negotiations are my two best friends on the bureaucratic front. oh, and my sweet smile.
but of course, my curiosity always gets the better of me. click. click. click. no, i don't want to get a degree that came from a link in my spam box. that's going too far for even a cheeky dolt like myself. you know, i could hide out in school for a really long time and not have to worry about getting a real life until well into my forties if i played my cards right. hello, i'm a college student in middle age and still worried about purchasing highlighters and exam booklets. let's all practice that statement together, shall we? doesn't exactly have a great ring to it, but i bet i could polish it up if i went into the right program.
new google search. "grad schools for hiding out from the real world while still being able to pay the mortgage and have a life" at least my searches are yielding some laughs. is there some kind of information school that will give me credit for making funky internet searches? i could totally hang with that. it could even be supplemented with a class researching 800 numbers dialed randomly using seven letter words. not that nick and i do that when we get bored or anything. hell no, we would never be that stooopid just to make ourselves laugh until we pee. we never used mix-a-lot as the seven letter word, either. nope. not us. me and my brother aren't that ginormously silly and you can't prove it.
gotta run:
it's target day with sam and linsey!
No comments:
Post a Comment