it's time once again for george's random moonlight ramble. this evening's edition will give you answers to burning issues, such as:
fat girls are just as mean as skinny girls
the best bad movies
how hard it is to get a haircut
i keep getting the oddest food cravings lately. it's not pregnancy, trust me on this one. right now i'm drinking pomegranate juice and thinking about getting sushi for lunch tomorrow. i don't even like most seafood. blackberries would be nice, too. and maybe a bratwurst and some cole slaw. what the fuck?!? wonder if i have any creamed corn in the cabinet.
here's to being hopeful that bonnie found a cool salon. she seems pretty happy about her hair appointment and goodness knows i need a trim. where is my little tanya when i need her? if i can't find a decent person who will take good money to wash my hair for me soon i'm going to go to the car wash and just stroll on through with the high pressure jets turned on.
every day brings a little more comfort... with being abrasive. yeah sure, so some of you out there think i'm nicer than that. pffft. i like sorting out the wimps. as i may have said before, my friendships are "darwinian" in nature. cream rises to the top and all that. only the best mutations will survive. i heart mutants.
let's admit something. i'm a size 12, or maybe a 14. (being a 14 can actually be an advantage over a 12 on the clearance rack.) it's fine with me and i really don't care anymore, but there is one tiny detail that irks the shit outta me. when i go into a "regular" store to shop for clothes, i feel funny looks upon me when i browse anything fashionable. when i go into a "fat girl" store, i feel the same exact thing. can we just make an in-between store for chicks that are kinda squishy and end all this glaring?
i am addicted to ugly betty. hot chicks eating food. yay.
speaking of hot chicks eating food, i have now been off of my diet for quite a while. i'm in celebration of keeping an old resolution once made to stop dieting. at some point shortly after my thirtieth birthday, i came to the realization that i had been on a diet of some kind or another for twenty years. TWENTY FUCKING YEARS! ahhh, the "magical thirty wand" knocked me over the head until i came to my senses for the better. now i eat healthier and get off my ass once in a while, but i will do my absolute best to never diet again. i have better shit to think about.
like this: how long will it take me to get through these boxes that i have stacked into a nice feng shui pile in my living room? how much longer will it be before i can't stand life without a razor cut and just go chop off all this hair? and where ARE the rest of my rubber stamps and safety pins? they're not in those boxes. i know. i looked.
every so often i get a nervous twitch. for real, like where i have to stand up and jump around to loosen up. for a while i thought it might be something neurological and wondered if i should be examined. then i caught derek twitching one day. anyways, if it is some deep-seated medical problem, it's not impeding anything, and it's apparently contagious and i've given it to derek. maybe we were both poisoned by acid rain and have to flop about for relief now. maybe i just consume too much caffeine. maybe i'm just twitchy.
some of you have joined in on my bad movie festival. good for you. there is no shame in liking keanu reeves or wondering of the world really will turn out like the movie demolition man. is taco bell going to take over the world? in any case, i salute you all for getting behind me on that whole cool runnings thing. you rock for admitting your weaknesses. and just for the record, derek could not live in a world without michael keaton and multiplicity. just so you know.
one last random fact:
there is a lot of nude art in our house. none of the works are of me or derek, but i'm starting to wonder if we have a subconscious fascination with nekkid paintings in rainbow colors.
5 comments:
See, sometimes it's good to have OCD. When I move I have everything unpacked in 2-3 days, because I can't have boxes sitting in the house. Just can't. I will go without food or sleep until they're unpacked and everything is put away. I couldn't sleep anyway, knowing there are UNPACKED BOXES IN MY HOUSE!
Yes, I embrace the crazy whenever I can.
For me ... the movie thing ... " 50 First Dates " is a guilty pleasure. " What About Bob " makes me laugh EVERY TIME ( So do Mrs Doubtfire and Uncle Buck ) ERASERHEAD is for those nights when only the bizarre will do.
www.vain.com is my new favorite (If I'm wrong, and you don't love it, George, I will banish myself from ever calling again on a Saturday morning ...)
Unpacked boxes are really treasure chests, you know ...and you are a pirate ~
liz, you're invited over when i get my next feng shui attack. you're the woman that can keep me motivated until all of the cardboard is out of my house.
bonnie, i need the name of your new stylist. oh how i want someone to wash my hair for me!
I have found the answer to not having awesome tanya around to give you a good shampoo.
Find ye a black girl who does hair.
Seriously, those girls know how to scrub.
Being the token white girl at the salon I'm at now, I have a gaggle of black girls whom I can ask to wash my hair, and they do a fantastic job. And really, every time I've had a black girl wash my hair, they get right in there, and I'm in hairwashing bliss.
I think the reason is that relaxed hair is quite difficult to shampoo, as well as the fact that many black women don't wash their hair every day. Or, really, every week, because they don't have to, so when they do it is shampooed, they need it scrubbed good, and because its most likely relaxed, more pressure and strength is needed to get to the scalp. Sometimes, they even use fingernails. Oooooh, so awesome.
Okay, I didn't mean to turn this into a lesson on shampooing black hair, but there ya go.
I hope you find someone to scrub you good. You certainly deserve it.
oh tanya, thank you for the tip. i didn't even think about that one, which is kind of odd, because i already knew what you're telling me. wow, my peeps have really come to my hair rescue!
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