the day in california that didn't totally suck

before you go thinking i'm all whoop-a-dee-doo happy and shit, let me just hold your horses right there, buddy. it didn't totally suck. that's all. there was some air of normalcy; it could be the reason for my less-than-negative attitude.

after realizing that i didn't have to get up and deal with workbaby (the little kid asshole twentysomething girl at my job - but that's a whole other story) or put on respectable looking clothing, i drank a pot of coffee while reading my latest library loan. yes, that's right, the entire fucking pot! the book is a nonfiction called "the average american" and i would recommend it highly as food for thought. it got me to thinking about the connotations of words like normal, average, stereotypical, archetype, and so on. especially interesting in the book were some of the ways in which i found myself relating to being average. some items were a bit surprising, but i always knew that creamy peanut butter was the bomb. go and read it for yourself, even if you're not an american or don't live in the states. it will totally enlighten you on the pop bits of life here.

NOTE: los angeles was thrown out almost immediately from the search! EEE!

but i digress.

yesterday was good because i made money from rating condoms. not just anone can say shit like that, right? as you might know, derek and i have been in a focus group for some new kind of condom, because we thought the study would be neat-o and it gives new meaning to word focus. we went to our final study appointment and collected a big fat check for doing the horizontal mambo with protection and telling someone in a little office about it. after a quick jaunt to the bank (snicker snicker) and our plethora of mailboxes, it was off to the beach for lunch.

let me state here that i keep being under the mistaken impression that SOMETHING in los angeles will turn out to be really fancy. wrong wrong wrong! it's all just a shitpile or a strip mall to me. while some parts of the area have "character" to them, there is nothing glamourous about this place. if you've been through one "oh look at all the shops and restaurants" kind of area in your life, you've already been through los angeles a dozen times over. having said that, we now take you to the foo foo neighborhood of santa monica... or as i keep oafishly pronouncing it: sanny montica.

we ate lunch along the promenade where we spotted celebrities! okay, so there were no celebrities, but if in touch magazine is any indication, you should be able to find a few of them shopping there on occasion. there was some commercial or indie film shooting about ten feet away from our table, but we lost interest after maybe ten seconds. a quick stop into the united colors of benetton (fuck you very much, tankoo. don't make fun) confirmed a few looks of "what are YOU doing in HERE with these little bitty clothes?" how odd. i fit into the ones at the store up in san francisco. does LA preshrink their shit that much? we strolled along the sidewalks near the beach and headed for the sanny montica pier to gawk like tourists. then came the good part - fresh hot churros and standing in one place just listening to the birds and the water and all that was around us.

those of you that have any semblance of who i am know that i'm not a nature nut, but this was the coolest part of the day. not only was there actually a breeze out by the ocean, you could hear distinct sounds in the air. so much of the time hear it's all just blurred into one same noise, but in this spot i could separate the cars from the people from the water from the roller coaster from the everything else. it was much more melodic to hear things as a symphony in cooperation rather than a din of noise.

taking the extremely scenic route back to our 'hood, we stopped at a borders in the evening to browse magazines and have coffee. maegan, a girl i know here, called and invited us out to karaoke at a bowling alley in shitville with some of her work friends. i was in shock. could this be true? is someone calling us to go and do stuff AND meet new people? holy shit! i would probably have driven to vegas just to experience the averageness being invited out for karaoke and drinks. did i sing? hell yes i did. when you're in front of all strangers and you'll probably never see most of them again, you have nothing to lose.

by the way, i advise anyone out there to go and karaoke when out of your normal environment. you can be as absolutely terrible as you want and it DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER! practice being an idiot in front of people you'll never see again and you'll lose all sense of shame that you ever had instilled in you.

there is still a nagging thought that keeps bouncing around in my brain, and it is this: i might be able to make friends out here, but they won't be MY friends.

that is no diss to maegan and her bunch or to anyone else. i'm tired of whining all the time about how i hate it here. believe me, it sucks with a capital ucks, but i'm not wasting any more time on the suckage. i just miss some really good parts of my life that i can't, don't, and won't have out here. being seen as adventurous and extraordinary is one thing, but there can be some great happiness in the average parts of your life, too. maybe i'm just craving a little status quo to use as a jumping point - perhaps even a grounding point - for the adventure. it can be good to know that when you fall down, at least the ground will be there to stop your fall.

so it wasn't that i had the best time ever, or that anything out of the ordinary happened. in fact, the day was so comfortably normal that it became fabulous in a very strange way. that book is doing weird things to my noggin, i tell you. what's going to happen to me when i read the next one? ack.

here's to less whining, less suckage; more calm, more ire. more coffee!!!