11 March 2006

three times a lady

unexpected expenses are a pain. there will be a shopping trip in my near future, but it's unfortunately not going to be for socks. not that i won't get any socks. in fact, i'm wearing some farewell socks as we speak. they're one of those pairs that matches with mary's. it's a good thing she bought new scarves for me and her and megan last weekend. i'd hate to have to bring her with me and force her to get a new bra that matches mine.

it's odd how they say that things happen in threes. this week has seen the passing of my underwire on three - count 'em, folks - three different bras. they were the only really good ones that i love because of their cottony softness. it was like a political revolt or something. each day i would put on a different bra and, within the hour, i would hear a slight "ping!" as the damn wire snapped in half. and on the same side each time, no less! i really have to have a talk with my left boobie before my clothing life gets out of control. down girl! behave yourself! so now it's off to ye olde house of underwear to find replacements. if one can count on anything, it's life's ability to smack you around in humiliating ways. ugh.

last night mary decided we should have a girl night with jenny and tanya. it was margaritas, queso, and desserts on the veranda (i.e. the patio at chimi's on cherry street) as we swapped ridiculous statements and stories of how retarded the situations in our lives could be. there was a discussion of the most painful pimples ever, with the winners being an inside-the-nostril-yet-under-the-skin jobbie or else something involving the septum and squeezing. ye-owch! books which we assumed that everyone but us had read were thrown into the mix. turns out no one has read these, or at least not all of them. and yes, i admitted to actually watching a reality show.

"daniel franco, where did you go - whoa, oh... daniel franco, where did you go?" gee mary, thanks for getting that shit stuck in my head for days. aarrrrggghhhh!! make it stop!!!

it was then that i told the girlies about el blog. they were duly informed that no names would be changed to protect the innocent because i know better than that anyway. tanya was reminded of my former penchant for carrying around a tape recorder and sticking it at friends whenever they spoke. now i slyly arm myself with a pen instead, but it's difficult to discreetly write down a quote from your friend when they're watching you scribble on your hand. maybe i should learn how to lie better and say i'm making a grocery list. whatever, like they'd believe a lame ass story like that. besides, it's only fair for jenny to give an informative warning about one of her ex boyfriends. or are we now calling him that guy that jenny used to fuck sometimes when she felt like it and he thought he was her boyfriend because she would actually be seen in public with him at times? i get so confused about modern relationships, you know. i will have the grace to leave him unnamed, but if you should ever run into him just know that his review from her goes as such:

his only outstanding feature is his capacity to be mediocre.

the thing is, he doesn't really need a name. we've all met this guy, or some permutation of him, along the way. needless to say, she's much happier with tony. i would certainly hope so since she married him. awwww, isn't that too sweet? i think i just made myself gag a little bit. gotta go vomit now.

No comments: