fresh out

it should be possible to put an expiration date on levels of compassion. like to have a certain amount of it spoil before it gets used. probably because someone took a drink straight from the bottle and then left it on the counter to rot, but no one noticed until it was too late. i'm pretty sure my bottle was left on the counter this weekend. i'm a raging irrational bitch without any back stock of compassion. maybe i had some and it got spilled on the rug. all i know is, now it's starting to smell. in any case, it's probably not a good sign that i'm out of compassion for the week, with nary a penny to buy more, and it's only slightly an hour after the beginning of the week for me. get back to me next week to find a sweeter and gentler version of this bitchy self.

oh, and it looks like we do get to keep the new apartment. another false alarm. supposedly. allegedly. for now.

in the record breaking spiral downwards last night (thanks rhiannon for naming me the all time winner) i turned into my own evil twin. you should never think about calling homeland security/immigration just to get someone else out so you'll have a place to live. on the other hand, it would be nice to have george bush on my side for a change. on the third hand, i'm not sure what kind of silver lining thinking that would make for, even in a depressive state of mind. in a blindingly obvious and still somewhat subconscious fashion, i punished myself for taking it out on derek via cell phone. i ate chocolate, got nauseated as all hell, stayed home pouting, and managed to miss some valuable cheese soup and sidney poiter time with my friends. i should have stopped being a big baby. i should have gone to ed and rhiannon's for movie night. i should have hung up the phone before derek got frustrated. ah yes, but by the end, you'll be happy to know that i lolled on the sofa in a giant tummyache puddle. justice was served to me. blech, chocolate, blech.

i was rewarded for my self flagellation by getting the opportunity to scream at two lame asses in the parking lot of borders today. "well, it must be nice to be so fucking perfect, because it's not so easy to be one of the rest of us - HUMAN!" i have to admit, i took a certain amount of perverse pleasure in pointing them out to scott once we were inside. quite loudly, i might add. with an actual arm extension and all out pointing finger, a la village of the damned. did they really feel superior by hacking a loogy on my car window? after all, it's been raining for two days and the window was clean by the time i got home. so there! ha! in your fucking faces, you idiots in the explorer! obviously there is no way they could have a better life than i do. they were in a gas guzzling ford. and let's not even talk about their bad posture. kick my ass? yeah, right, whatever. of course you weren't going to kick my ass, so why even bring it into the conversation? sheesh.

i can be awfully scary when i wanna be. not that i'd ever kick an ass. i'm a weenie. bark bark bark! and oh what a bark it can be when i need it. like a rabid chihuahua mafia crack dealer. hmmmm, should probably tone down my mouth a bit before getting to los angeles, huh? oh well, i won't have any friends there, so i won't be going out so much. breaking in new people is such an exhausting task. who wants to make friends in southern california anyway? i have enough friends and a lot of stamps.

screw the compassion. i gotta go put my newest supply of humor back in the freezer. i wouldn't want it to all thaw out at once.