the healing power of cheese

so right now i'm on spring break. how's that for going back in time, eh?

last weekend was fairly pleasant, except for one small thing that almost led to my complete downfall. i hurt my hiney in the bathroom. somewhere in my travels i caught a mystery bug that left me with severe abdominal cramps for three days. i mean, i'm not saying my organic yogurt was to blame, but i am saying that was the only thing i ate around the house that derek didn't eat during said time period. let's just say that the expiration date isn't something i look at very often when i'm rooting around in the fridge, because we have a teeny tiny fridge (i got this diminutive size on purpose to keep from having too much in there at once) and i eat like a teenage boy. there's no way in hell my yogurt could have time to go bad only a few days after my trip to whole foods. and besides, it's yogurt! what the fuck happened to my butt? i wallowed on the couch making little grunty, groany noises while derek tried not to laugh.

by sunday morning i was sta-arr-arrrrrrrving for something to eat. three crackers and a cup of hot tea was not my idea of a well-balanced weekend's worth of food. after innumerable shots of hot water mixed with baking soda, i'd had just about enough of temporary home remedies for a screaming digestive system. in thinking of how i usually cure nausea, i decided to go the other way entirely by consuming as much greasy crap as i could. this would either make me vomit and uhhhh, whatever else, or it would be a signal to my body that this crap was enough. yes, of course that is a pun intended. you know me well enough to know that.

taquitos to the rescue! who would have thought that the best cure for gassy cramping was many a stick of warm cheese in a fried thing? i would, that's who. and it didn't even surprise me when the trick worked like a charm. let this be a lesson to you - baking soda can only get you so far. you have to go for the melty cheese, or whichever other fried food you prefer, by yourself after that. whatever does not kill you settles your stomach.

thank goodness i felt like a new person by monday morning. it was time to run off to david's bridal in search of a dress for jason and alicia's wedding! she is blissfully cool about the whole affair and sent us several options of what she wanted to make sure we don't spend too much on our simple, all-occasion bridesmaid dresses. i found a nice little black satin halter with a white sash. one store, one hour, one big task finished. yay! you had to feel sorry for the people working there. it's spring break and you'd have thought the lords of the shiny ruffled gowns had descended on the place. the fact that i was so nonchalant about what i needed must have been the defining factor in my extra thirty bucks discount on everything. lesson number two of the day - sympathize with the salesgirl and you shall derive the financial benefits of the hunt. thirty dollars is a lot of cat food, you know.

bonus alert! what does a girl do when she's stressed about spending money? she goes and finds something on the clearance rack to buy for herself so she can equalize the situation. buying a new black dress can be a chore sometimes, but when you follow it up with a trip to the gap where you find the perfect blue and grey plaid seven dollar skirt you feel better. in fact, you feel so good that you whip open the fitting room door to ask the employee if you can wear it out of the store, totally forgetting that you don't have on your trousers. she smiles and runs away to take off the tags in hopes that you'll cover yourself up, for crying out loud. meanwhile, you're busy rummaging through your purse wondering if that gift card for some random shop you found on the floor has any money on it. you pay for the skirt (that you are now wearing) and wander off to the shop, only to find that you have fifteen dollars of free money! lesson three - making someone else laugh can pay off in ways you hadn't thought of before. it may have just been coincidence, but i'm going more with the theory of reciprocity. by this point i was up to an extra forty five bucks and a clearance deal that rocked.

somewhere in all this digestive kerfuffle and shopping serendipity, i managed to make it to a production meeting and even auditioned for another show. it would seem that both went very well. my latest project is to put together an evening of one act plays using beginning directors and playwrights. we have five plays slated for the evening and we're all excited to see how things go for the show. we keep joking that the first one to cry has to cough up cash or snacks for everyone else. let's hope i'm not that one, like i was the first time i directed. as far as the audition, there were callbacks last night and things look good. if there's something fun to distract me before my graduation, i think i can make it through for another six weeks. it'll be just like groundhog's day, only i'm waiting for phil to see his shadow in my textbooks.

in other news, i'm wondering what kind of wedding present to get for jason and alicia. this is just one more excuse to hit target for some shopping, right? hmmm, their registry doesn't look like people have beat me to the punch on the good stuff. maybe i should give linsey a call and force her to go with me soon. i just have to see the doormat that says "well, butter my butt and call me a biscuit, look who's here!" you gotta love these people.


oddness of the week:
they say it might snow here on saturday. snow?!? in march? it's sixty degrees out right now! if there's one thing i think of for spring break in flyover country, it sure ain't a winter wonderland. i'll let you know.