03 March 2010

excited and boring

in case you were wondering, i have officially gone two weeks without any sodie-pop or candy. only a few more weeks to go until i get to try out that heritage dr. pepper. me and my lent buddy are hanging in there pretty well, and it's actually gotten easier as the days have passed. let's just hope i don't go hog wild at the end of this. i don't think i've lost any weight, but my pants keep telling me i have. my skin looks nice, so i'll go with it.

quite by accident, i have discovered my trigger food for dr. pepper cravings. i thought it might just be junk food in general, but it turns out to be one very specific thing. i was at the theatre over this past weekend and we had a pizza day after painting. almost as if by magic, my hand started to reach out for a can. ding ding ding! not yet, i said to myself. this means i have to avoid pizza for the next few weeks, too. well, i was already trying to eat a bit healthier, so i guess this helps by eliminating lumps of yummy melty cheeses and greases. it's a good thing i have quesadillas to fall back on, and i can easily incorporate more veggies that way.

school still sucks.

i'm starting on a new theatre project this month, this time at the helm of teenage writers and directors. reading through the scripts so far is getting me hepped up to see what the directors are going to do. julie and i wanted a chance to help develop some of the younger artists. plus, it's an effortlessly foruitous sense of revenge knowing that they'll figure out what it takes to put together a show. i keep joking that my part in this is to point and laugh when disaster strikes and they start to cry, but mostly i can't wait to see how they navigate the project and how we can help them get it done.

can i say something unpatriotic here? i'm getting tired of hearing about the woeful economy. not that i think we should all go out and just spend spend spend willy nilly, but it's time to stop freaking out a la chicken little. the hour of fretting needs to pass - it isn't helping to solve anything and it's only leaving this country in a state of panic. we all hear stories about setting goals and positive thinking and all that, right? so how come people only seem to apply this to losing weight and practicing sports? maybe if the attitude shifted to more of a "fuck it all! let's get to it!" mood, we could move on and get things going again.

it's kinda like when there's a house fire. you can just sit there and whine, or you can pool your resources until your house is back in some sort of order. i mean, you can only lament the losses for so long before you have to realize that you're also getting a fresh start. after all, flames are the least painful way to get rid of terrible birthday presents that you haven't re-gifted yet, and you know you wanted a new sofa anyway. i've often heard that the most dangerous person is the one with nothing to lose. it's also been said that by declaring a goal out loud to other people, you're more likely to achieve it. by combining these two theories in a good way, maybe everyone could just chill out and pull up those bootstraps. even if it just gets us out of wallowing and worrying, it might just be helpful. there's a certain sense of freedom that comes from being pissed off and hungry for a better life.

i've been reading classic american documents lately, what with that whole political ideology class i'm taking. in looking it over, the recurring theme isn't entitlement, but rather a sense of being pragmatic and progressive. it's more about possibility than about permanence. this is one of my favorite concepts. to allow for the chance of something else, to look for the exception to the rule, to see what isn't there - these are things that excite and inspire me. i am, as the old saying would go, in the pursuit of happiness. i am not yearning for some kind of changeless happy plateau, for that would rule out possibility. yuck, how lacking in genius would that be? but i digress... as usual.

for now i'll just plod on with whatever, hoping to get some government cheese and finish out the next two months of school. i'll keep myself busy and enjoy diversions like cute internet animals and selling off my cd collection. it's funny to realize that all the money we've spent on the house since we moved in here has been covered and more just by shipping away my music. it's a good thing i'm done buying furniture, because i'm running out of things to sell. oh! and i finally got my hair done, too! it looks awesome, take my word for it even though i never seem to post any photos. at least i went out and spent some money, right?


things i should be doing right now:
reading journal articles
cleaning my desk
making lunch
finishing an improv list

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