turns out there was an old shower head lurking around in the new apartment. after some brilliant engineering and epoxy, we can now take an actual shower! i actually had a dream last week that i'd gone to visit home and showed up on rebecca's doorstep begging to take a shower. clearly, something had to be done. the water composition is still strange so i'll never have it as good as i did before, but at least i can stop using the scrub brush in a brutal way just to feel like i got all the soap off. let's not even talk about getting shampoo out of my hair. i'm clean! i'm clean!
it's good to be clean when you're looking for a new job. it's good to actually get out there and look for a job when you're looking for a new job as well, i suppose. last week was going to be the ground zero of job hunting, right? going to be. it would seem that i've been on sabbatical from my old self in more ways than one. i'm a lazy fucker as of late and i still have on my pajamas right now. this is so bizarre - the last time i went this long without a job (or two or three) was when a totally different george bush was in office. can i just say something here? i hate hate hate looking for a job. i love having one, love going to work and doing a good job, no matter what it is i'm doing. it's important to take pride in what you do regardless of the way the rest of the world might see it. i really love to dig in and work hard and feel like i'm getting something done. it's only the humiliation of the job hunt that sends me into a tailspin. the more time i spend looking at job listings, the more i despise the job hunt. barf, retch, vomit, hwarf, blech.
am i qualified to do anything? people always say stuff like "oh you could just do anything" to me. when vee and i were talking about it this weekend and we decided that irks the shit out of us when we get told that. we have so much varied experience that it just means we our choice of things, right? if only that's how a potential employer would see things. instead it's looked at as the inability to follow through on things and a history of instability. not that i'm denying either accusation, but it should also be seen as adaptable and curious. oh, if only. we try new things, we move on and try more new things. we have the personality to pick up new skills and use them. we have the guts to change and go do something else. then reality hits. being able to "do anything" usually translates into being qualified to do nothing. it means a lot of begging and proving ourselves as lackeys until someone realizes we're not big dipshits.
work won't be my life out here. it will be something where i can get out of the house and make some money. if that means getting some crap job at a store selling widgets then so be it. i'd just like to do something where i can once again go in and do a good job, hang out, and get something done. if holly is going to call me an artistic genius, then maybe i should just devote more time to the rest of my life and let derek be happy making more money that i do. who cares if he's the man in my life and bringing home the bacon? i fucking love bacon! politics, schmolitics. (or should i say, in my case, polichicks.) schmorggedy borggedy norggedy, said the insulting girl.
speaking of bacon, i got a postcard from megan! there is something about me that says whooping monks on a rollercoaster. this is now the third time i've gotten that card. it's superb each time i see it. there's something to be said for knowing me well enough to get me something i love that someone else has already picked out for me. eee! when it came in mail yesterday i was having a really crap time of it. the job thing almost made me cry and i was getting lonely for my peeps to go out and have cheese fries with me. excellent timing there, toots. we'll get you over your fear of the post office one of these days. in the meantime, just keep on making your family send you extra stamps.
this leads me to the subject of crap. not literal crap, though you shouldn't put it past me. you never know when i'm going to talk about some epiphany i had while sitting on the toilet. do they always happen there? what's with that? are there certain muscles involved in crapping that activate the brain on mysterious ways? shut up. i'm not the only one to think about things like this. but i digress...
we went for lunch yesterday at a joint called eat at joe's. it was rumored that they not only had hash browns, but also white gravy and chicken fried steak. on a day when you're bummed about leaving home, you'd like a reminder of some good things about home, so we stopped in to try it out. ever been on the school lunch program as a kid? this was the cafeteria food version of CFS and eggs, and not even the luby's version. the eggs were fine. the toast was not burnt. that's the best i can say for the meal. the sliced potatoes were like scalloped burnt chips with no cheese, and even i have made better gravy in my kitchen trials. when i'm hungry my taste buds fly out the window and i just eat. i passed my on to derek, king of gravy stuff. he took a few bites and pushed the plate away. it's obvious that the food out here will take some getting used to, and that their idea of home cooking is to leave the secrets of cooking at home.
i was a pirate all day after the festival! arrrrr....
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