embrace the suckage and let it go

the show is cast! and if i do say so myself, i have gotten some truly faboo peeps. we were lucky enough to have gotten in some people with chops and strong opinions. since i have a penchant for collaboration, this work to my advantage in making my job easier. i'm sure i'll be slapping my forehead when la revolucion begins, but it'll be worth it.

"speak up! move left! move right! pick up your cues! enunciate! stay in the lights!" that's my job as a director. i don't do pre-blocking unless there is a part in the script that calls for it or i just have one little teensy thing here and there that i have worked out in my head. i do not give line readings. i do not have simple answers regarding "my motivation" in a show. my task is to bring out the best in other people, not to squish them into a box or let them hide out.

if they cry and hate me, well.... they'll get over it, right? tough love, that's what i say. i'm not the kind of person who was ever known for her tactfulness skills anyway. i'm direct (no pun intended) and i know what i like. nothing makes me happier in a show than when people surprise me with something better than what i had in mind before. looking like a fool is a daily ritual for me. reckless abandon in odd behavior is my friend. i'm kind of an asshole without realizing it and don't mind people calling me a bitch. i hate hurting people's feelings - in fact, i cry often about it - but i know sometimes you have to be blunt to get through to people.

embrace the suckage and let it go.

that has become my personal motto. if at first you fuck up completely, laugh about it and move along. it's useful when trying to balance out your perfectionist side. even if everything could be all goldilocks, i would still be rearranging a dead chicken on stage until i got it jusssssst riiight. uh, that's perhaps not the most cohesive reference, but just trust me this time.

so when i call mary or veronica in the coming weeks and complain that the cast hates me and i had a bad night at rehearsal, they should remind me to embrace the suckage. and then remind me to let it go. not that i can be obsessive or anything. who 's talking about obsessive? me? never. i didn't just rearrange the post-its on my desk. you can't prove anything.


what i hate about looking for a job:
being looked over like meat
taking out my nosering
having to look at my own resume
brushing my hair
not saying "fuckers!" in an interview