late night blather rinse and repeat

tonight's installment of insomnia gives me the feeling of being a sassy little tike. the kind of child that has a secret but won't let anything go past that impish giggle except for a few silly singsong taunts to drive people bonkers.

i know something you don't know. nannee nannee boo boo. stick your head in doo doo.

no, i am NOT getting any freakish plastic surgery or a sports car. alas, i am also not moving away from los suckeles... yet. no one has give me a psychic transmission of the winning lottery numbers, either. sigh - woe to me. i do, however, have information. snicker-inducing information. no, not snickers! not the pokin' atcha pokin' atcha variety. snickers, like when you're going to flip the bird to the fuckers that really earned it. teehee, i feel good now baby!

nannee nannee boo boo. takes me back a ways to a kinder simpler day, to simpler ways of abusing others with verbal jabs. when life was good - or least there wasn't a warning label required by law on every single damn thing in the universe - and people still thought some things were "kinda gay" and told you so without there being a lawsuit involved. hooray for the days of the greasy grimy gopher guts song! you know what other saying i think is pretty fucking funny?

milk milk lemonade, around the corner fudge is made.

these days that would count as sexual harassment if you said it at school. it would still probably garner a small uproar even if you didn't use the strategic body part pointing hand gestures that go along with the chant. oh, and speaking of harassment in general, i must relate how really gay it is that i got reprimanded at work this week for it. i was told that it's offensive to verbally note that other people get pissy with me because i speak english at my fleetingly crappy job. not that i'm talking about tourists in for a short visit when i say it, and not that the residents who don't/can't/refuse to speak english could get offended anyway. see, the point is that they don't speak english! then they glare at me and get pissed off because i do! they're overly sensitive about their alleged culture and whatnot here, so i'm somehow the idiot in this situation. it is also apparently offensive to say in jest to a person who already understands that you're kidding, "hey fattie come on let's go and pick up lunch." even if they laugh at it because you're joking around between buddies, if someone else can hear it being said and the word "fattie" makes the eavesdropper uncomfortable, you can be warned! you can be shown the employee handbook and have it shoved in front of your nose, told to reread that second paragraph on harassment again! you too could be a scumbag pariah in the workplace!

i swear, we have never lived in a city this conservative before. people are sensitive about every damn thing. and yet, they fail to say please and thank you. how ironic is that shit?!?!

piss on all of this. i'm so totally quitting the squaresville harassment job. what i'm trying to decide at this point is whether to quit with no notice or just go all out and get fired. i got a new job anyway. who needs those other stiffs when i can insult a whole new group of coworkers with my charm, right? "i know you are, but what am i" is in full effect from now on.

...french fried eyeballs rolling up and down the street, and i forgot my spoon.
but i gotta STRAAAAAAWWWWWW!