29 August 2006
tourist attractions
we're going to the ripley's odditorium tomorrow. derek figures we should do a few of the cheesier things before moving away. who could disagree with that? i've got rollercoasters planned for my future. that's big city life for you. it might not be the big blue whale, but it's something.
27 August 2006
party over here - whoop whoop
another drunken posting alert.
does that make two in two weekends? sheesh, i am totally ashamed of myself. i swear to you i must've had more to drink in the last six months than i've had in the last six years. now i've stumbled home from mae-maegan's house to watch a documentary on the police. meaning the band, not the organization. did i ever mention how much i love the police? (shut up, nick. yes i know you had to live through childhood with me.)
went to my very first los crapeles par-tay this evening, and it wasn't the worst thing ever. of course, i'm still leaving this fucking place in a few months. it was just nice to be able to socialize with/terrorize the masses for a change. we even dragged tara out to the valley to meet some new people over here. it was mostly full of fellow strugglers like us, which would be why it was kinda fun.
wow, i had a lot of vodka. a lot. not as much as the time i threw up on the lawn, but a lot nonetheless. but i'm not gonna throw up tonight, don't worry.
spin.
spin. spin.
hehehehehehe.....
like a good girl, i had some dinner earlier and i'm downing a ton of water now to avoid the most gruesome of consequences.
and i still love the police. wooooooohoo. the film is called "everyone stares," for those of you who choose to share in my adoration. i'm into documentaries and educational stuff lately. it's probably to keep my mind chugging along a little bit out here in the vapid suckifornia endless post-industrial wasteland sun.
wait wait wait just a second - did i seriously just see someone try to brush out the eyelashes of andy somers with a 99 cent store pocket comb?!?! what the fuck?! "i'll send an s.o.s. to the world....."
i love that damn song.
does that make two in two weekends? sheesh, i am totally ashamed of myself. i swear to you i must've had more to drink in the last six months than i've had in the last six years. now i've stumbled home from mae-maegan's house to watch a documentary on the police. meaning the band, not the organization. did i ever mention how much i love the police? (shut up, nick. yes i know you had to live through childhood with me.)
went to my very first los crapeles par-tay this evening, and it wasn't the worst thing ever. of course, i'm still leaving this fucking place in a few months. it was just nice to be able to socialize with/terrorize the masses for a change. we even dragged tara out to the valley to meet some new people over here. it was mostly full of fellow strugglers like us, which would be why it was kinda fun.
wow, i had a lot of vodka. a lot. not as much as the time i threw up on the lawn, but a lot nonetheless. but i'm not gonna throw up tonight, don't worry.
spin.
spin. spin.
hehehehehehe.....
like a good girl, i had some dinner earlier and i'm downing a ton of water now to avoid the most gruesome of consequences.
and i still love the police. wooooooohoo. the film is called "everyone stares," for those of you who choose to share in my adoration. i'm into documentaries and educational stuff lately. it's probably to keep my mind chugging along a little bit out here in the vapid suckifornia endless post-industrial wasteland sun.
wait wait wait just a second - did i seriously just see someone try to brush out the eyelashes of andy somers with a 99 cent store pocket comb?!?! what the fuck?! "i'll send an s.o.s. to the world....."
i love that damn song.
25 August 2006
my stupid shirt is better than your stupid shirt
ah yes, the ups and downs of life.
up: many home-related things happened at work this week, including selling the score to oklahoma and several copies of the outsiders. i also met two girls from tulsa, one a few years older than me who graduated from hale high school and one who refuses to change her license even after living here for nine years. damn, i should've checked to see if we knew any mutual people. hey, it could totally happen. the license put one at 11th and yale, and i lived right across the street from hale in another life.
down: this morning it was hotter here than in arizona. never mind that the thermometers in each place eventually changed places. derek got a thunderstorm there, with big thunder and lightning and the whole works. grrrr, i feel so cheated by living here. welcome to the hotel suckifornia.
up: derek talked to his boss today about going ahead with the move and boss man is all for it. our options at this point are being whittled down to portland and denver i think, so the coin flip should be happening soon. we're MOVING! EEE!!!
down: i suck at celebrity spotting. when heath ledger or mandy patinkin or jon voight are standing right next to you, i bet you would recognize them. wouldn't you? wouldn't you?!?!? damn. i didn't. sorry liz. whoops.
up: derek the wonder stimpy is back home after his trip to arizona. the trip where he ate "good home cooking" and got to be in a thunderstorm. we should probably kill him just for the sake of being fair, but i like having him around. and he's cuuuute.
down: the scales are tipping. since moving here i have actually gained weight. at first i lost some just because i hated all the food, but now the pounds have come back and seemingly brought their friends along for the ride. fatty gotta lay off the cookies for a few weeks. waahh waaahh waaahhh. boo hoo.
up: random driving led us past a store in burbank. it's the LORD OF THE RING jewelry store! i thought we were never going to stop laughing at that one. yes, it's goofy, but you take what you can get sometimes for laughs.
down: my "stupid american" shirt is too cool for los crapeles. when i put it on, it's the social equivalent of wearing a pipe bomb out of the house. the general public either asks me "but what does it mean?" or gets irate that i have it on at all. they don't get the meaning of words like irony very well around here. last week someone said to me, "well, i guess that's what i fought in the war for. hmph." he didn't seem any happier when i replied, "the first amendment? yes it is." one man yesterday even told me how he felt personally insulted by my shirt. i asked him if he found the constitution offensive and he said, "well yes, of course." i'm seriously hoping that he misunderstood the question... and that he's incapable of reproducing.
up: my "stupid american" shirt is too cool for los crapeles. with so many people getting offended by my shirt, i get to rub it in how fucking uptight and conservative this place really is and show off my biting humor at the same time. to be honest, i probably wouldn't even fight back in such a snotty way if these people didn't look so confused by the initial response of "it's just irony" that i give out. heh, they're probably just pissed that they have to go look up a new word in the dictionary. the next shirt i design will say "white people are boring" so that i can see if people will dare react to a racist shirt that's insulting the majority. wanna lay bets on the fact that the dumbasses around here will actually think it's funny?
(random thought - why didn't this odd shit happen to me in the bible belt? shouldn't they have burned me at the stake back home? am i in an alternate universe? when is allen funt finally going to come out of the woodwork and introduce me to the live studio audience?)
BONUS TIDBIT: my car got searched at the airport! in my world that can only be considered a good sign. if you don't believe me, just go back and read about our trip to tulsa in july. things have got to be looking up, kiddies. wheee.
up: many home-related things happened at work this week, including selling the score to oklahoma and several copies of the outsiders. i also met two girls from tulsa, one a few years older than me who graduated from hale high school and one who refuses to change her license even after living here for nine years. damn, i should've checked to see if we knew any mutual people. hey, it could totally happen. the license put one at 11th and yale, and i lived right across the street from hale in another life.
down: this morning it was hotter here than in arizona. never mind that the thermometers in each place eventually changed places. derek got a thunderstorm there, with big thunder and lightning and the whole works. grrrr, i feel so cheated by living here. welcome to the hotel suckifornia.
up: derek talked to his boss today about going ahead with the move and boss man is all for it. our options at this point are being whittled down to portland and denver i think, so the coin flip should be happening soon. we're MOVING! EEE!!!
down: i suck at celebrity spotting. when heath ledger or mandy patinkin or jon voight are standing right next to you, i bet you would recognize them. wouldn't you? wouldn't you?!?!? damn. i didn't. sorry liz. whoops.
up: derek the wonder stimpy is back home after his trip to arizona. the trip where he ate "good home cooking" and got to be in a thunderstorm. we should probably kill him just for the sake of being fair, but i like having him around. and he's cuuuute.
down: the scales are tipping. since moving here i have actually gained weight. at first i lost some just because i hated all the food, but now the pounds have come back and seemingly brought their friends along for the ride. fatty gotta lay off the cookies for a few weeks. waahh waaahh waaahhh. boo hoo.
up: random driving led us past a store in burbank. it's the LORD OF THE RING jewelry store! i thought we were never going to stop laughing at that one. yes, it's goofy, but you take what you can get sometimes for laughs.
down: my "stupid american" shirt is too cool for los crapeles. when i put it on, it's the social equivalent of wearing a pipe bomb out of the house. the general public either asks me "but what does it mean?" or gets irate that i have it on at all. they don't get the meaning of words like irony very well around here. last week someone said to me, "well, i guess that's what i fought in the war for. hmph." he didn't seem any happier when i replied, "the first amendment? yes it is." one man yesterday even told me how he felt personally insulted by my shirt. i asked him if he found the constitution offensive and he said, "well yes, of course." i'm seriously hoping that he misunderstood the question... and that he's incapable of reproducing.
up: my "stupid american" shirt is too cool for los crapeles. with so many people getting offended by my shirt, i get to rub it in how fucking uptight and conservative this place really is and show off my biting humor at the same time. to be honest, i probably wouldn't even fight back in such a snotty way if these people didn't look so confused by the initial response of "it's just irony" that i give out. heh, they're probably just pissed that they have to go look up a new word in the dictionary. the next shirt i design will say "white people are boring" so that i can see if people will dare react to a racist shirt that's insulting the majority. wanna lay bets on the fact that the dumbasses around here will actually think it's funny?
(random thought - why didn't this odd shit happen to me in the bible belt? shouldn't they have burned me at the stake back home? am i in an alternate universe? when is allen funt finally going to come out of the woodwork and introduce me to the live studio audience?)
BONUS TIDBIT: my car got searched at the airport! in my world that can only be considered a good sign. if you don't believe me, just go back and read about our trip to tulsa in july. things have got to be looking up, kiddies. wheee.
22 August 2006
monkey love
a documentary you must watch-
romeo and juliet: a monkey's tale
although i'm not a shakespeare fan, it was just about the most adorable thing i've ever seen. derek was giggling because he thought it was cute that i got all misty watching the discovery channel. you'll understand when you see it, i promise. if not then you're one heartless fucking bastard. may the macaques shit on you and your kind out of their big shiny red hineys.
when it comes to shitting on people, i usually depend on the coming around going around and don't waste my time. this proved helpful yesterday when some bitch yakkity-yakking french into her phone during the entire drawn out transaction ultimately LOST her cellphone! snark snark snark. (i could have gone faster to get rid of her, but it was more fun to make her fucking wait that extra 15 minutes while i played the part of the lowly dumbass, an incognito twit.) the bad part? she literally flung her stuff at me over the counter and demanded i give her what she wanted. the good part? i understood part of her phone conversation. it wasn't that hard since she was mostly talking shit about her sister and planning a dinner with people. let's face it - i'm glad she lost the phone. that skeezy little "see you next tuesday" obviously needs a good slap in the calling plan. the best revenge is not having to wake up each morning and be her.
instead i'll just watch the monkeys. EEE!
romeo and juliet: a monkey's tale
although i'm not a shakespeare fan, it was just about the most adorable thing i've ever seen. derek was giggling because he thought it was cute that i got all misty watching the discovery channel. you'll understand when you see it, i promise. if not then you're one heartless fucking bastard. may the macaques shit on you and your kind out of their big shiny red hineys.
when it comes to shitting on people, i usually depend on the coming around going around and don't waste my time. this proved helpful yesterday when some bitch yakkity-yakking french into her phone during the entire drawn out transaction ultimately LOST her cellphone! snark snark snark. (i could have gone faster to get rid of her, but it was more fun to make her fucking wait that extra 15 minutes while i played the part of the lowly dumbass, an incognito twit.) the bad part? she literally flung her stuff at me over the counter and demanded i give her what she wanted. the good part? i understood part of her phone conversation. it wasn't that hard since she was mostly talking shit about her sister and planning a dinner with people. let's face it - i'm glad she lost the phone. that skeezy little "see you next tuesday" obviously needs a good slap in the calling plan. the best revenge is not having to wake up each morning and be her.
instead i'll just watch the monkeys. EEE!
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