miss george goes to town

well, ep turned out as a success and all my little chickens seemed pleased with themselves. from what i can tell, everyone had a good time with the whole thing overall. i'll be writing up an overview from my side. they all wanna do it again next year and i hope the feedback we got supports that notion. did it drive me bonkers some days? yup. would i do it again? without even a second thought. is it okay to be proud of myself just a little on this one? the last time i put together something even remotely like this was with an original sketch comedy group. it's only a vague comparison, but it had enough drama with only a few of us to be in the realm of comparable to this. and we all had cars to get to rehearsal.

next week i start teaching again, so i must take george out of the equation and put some miss george back into it. see, miss george is a kinder version that isn't allowed to say motherfucker when the actors are being freaky. kinda what i had to do on ep, but with even smaller people in the mix. sometimes they don't really speak in complete sentences that i can understand, like a secret code that i have to learn as the summer passes. perhaps hey feel the same way about me on that point. as long as i've had some coffee first, i can handle anything.

scott and i were talking last week about the ability to make a difference with the arts. besides using a lot of four letter words in the conversation, the gist of it was that we've both reached---

holy shit! derek and stuart copeland are bonding!!! it's a freaking miracle!!! if i weren't here to see it myself there is no way i would believe it. my cat, who loves only me and follows me around the house like a dog, is talking to derek. this didn't even happen while i was living in seattle and these two were here without me. he just rubbed up on derek's belly! no really, this is a big fat deal, i swear. whoa. i'm floored here.

--reached a point where we take seriously the advice we once got... rehearse lots and lots, have an ego, don't give a shit if anyone likes it or not. i don't mean any of this in a bad way, either. it's a tool to keep yourself going on a project when you're not sure at the beginning just how it'll turn out and you wanna be confident anyway. it also helps you enjoy the time you're spending on the project, because you don't care about butts in seats or what people think or anything. you are really learning how to just play and have fun. of course we all want to feel some inkling of making a difference, but it's become clear to me that if it's only with yourself, that's just super and piss on all else.

maybe my penchant for juvenile actions has become more prominent again. i went through a phase where i tried to be nice and please everyone. that was exhausting. being diplomatic isn't exactly my strong suit, but i find that if i'm at least genuine and (oh, let's call it) forthright, i can smile pretty and get away with some social faux pas in the process. knowing how to apologize in a sincere way should count as part of being tactful in my world.

in fact, the teens i was with are a good example of that. in one sense, they're more sensitive and volatile than the adults i talk to; and yet, they were also completely callous to any sort of sarcasm and craved getting a critique each night. you feel it coming off their skin when they want you to back off and stay away from them or come closer and be involved. they're a total mystery to me in the coolest way. can i be more like them? it's not an eternal youth, wishing i was back there at their age thing. i just dig their company because i feel like it's easy to see where you stand on a daily basis. adults confuse me most the time. even i confuse me most of the time. it could all just be a lesson in simplicity. nevertheless, this whole being cool with kids thing is a real shocker to me. i mean, come on. aren't i the one who makes people cry? (p.s. no one copped to any crying on ep, and i never saw it, so no dollars were handed out.) and aren't teenagers known for their wild mood swings? me plus the "hormones with feet" crowd should be like an explosion waiting to happen. the fact that it hasn't been that way so far and i have so much fun in spite of the facial tics they induce... this equation is seriously messing with my tiny brain.

it could be that i refuse to grow up. this can be my achilles heel on occasion. if you see me on the floor throwing a tantrum, don't be too surprised. just give me candy and then ignore me while i flop around making weird noises. i'm crazy like that.


random fact about me:
i like to take cheese slices and fold them into even smaller cheese slices until they are teeny tiny cheese bits that i can pop into my face as a snack.