what common sense tries to me while i'm in pajamas, besides that whole embrace the suckage thing

if only you hit shuffle enough times on your music, you will find just what you're looking for and have an epiphany.

you should have a story to tell every single day.

don't run out of coffee before you get dressed.

find one thing to get done every day, even if it's just getting your face washed before you go to bed or taking out the trash.

every show needs a number. (you know, like a song and dance thing.)

try to at least vaguely learn who wrote what classic literature so you don't look like a complete jackass when you're at the bookstore.

stop putting things in that special place so you won't lose them. that's the surest way to lose them.

there was a meeting. that's how it came about. and they weren't really kidding when they had that meeting. someone thought it was a good idea. if you don't believe me, just watch "snakes on a plane" again late at night.

keep some stamps around the house.

eat some vegetables, damnit.

your cats cannot understand you talking. they are hungry and want your adoring attention. and your spot on the sofa. but you can pretend anyway.

shut up once in a while.

there is absolutely nothing wrong with sitting in your bathtub fully clothed. even if you do have the shower running at the time.

yes, you are just a little bit fat. get over yourself and be proud of your wobbly bits. they're never going to go away no matter what you do. i mean, really. so what.

hanging upside down can be good for you.

there is only so much tape you can put on a package before you have to wonder if it still counts as recycling.

hang up your artwork. there's a reason you got it, or made it, and i doubt that reason was for all of it to sit on the floor while you come up with the perfect arrangement on the wall. it's fine to move it around later if you don't like it that way.

you can never have too many flashlights.

get a pair of sensible shoes. treat your feet well.

figure out if there's a reason you have so many empty boxes stuffed in closets and such. if you want to keep them you can, but you don't have to. there will always be another box. there will always be more bubble wrap. there will always be more tape.

other people's lives always seem more interesting or exciting than your own. but you're just as much of a cool weirdo as they are when it's someone else hearing about you. they've probably never met the wrong miss america or heard a holocaust survivor say, "oh, i understand. the holocaust is over, but traffic is every day." think about it.


friends in town, friends out of town:
another long-lostie in town this week - yay! so now i've seen kris, tanya, samantha, and tara all within a month! looks like andy and veronica are coming around next. guess that means it's time for me to drag my ass outta town somewhere and see people, too. that old flight credit is a-calling to me...