it's very late here and i should be asleep, but i'm agog with anticipation.
just so you all know, all three cats are nervous but undoubtedly still eating. they're starting to get jumpy and stuart is ripping through the house at light speed. bubba is hogging the couch. dizzy is extremely talkative and pushy. so far so good with them.
not much else is left to do, especially since i watched project runway and they totally cheesed out on me. fuckers. that's all i'll say for fear of being a spoiler, although you probably already know what's going on if you gossip about it at all. we all know you can't escape hype and frenzy no matter how hard you try. this reminds me - i think i'll reward myself for the move with some new trashy magazines. let's all go look at in touch on sunday night and think of each other, okay?
must. sleep. losing. mind. zzz...
29 September 2006
27 September 2006
moving day is coming
today is the day we pick up the truck.
i'm starting to get some odd butterflies in my tummy this week. they're still milder than the ones that appeared before the move out here, but just hovering there to remind me that a big day is approaching quickly.
there is one other thing that's making me twitchy today. this morning when i woke up, it occurred to me how self-absorbed i've been over the past few months. whine whine whine, me me me, blah blah blah. such an irritatingly icky quality has been heartily cultivated by our new social environment (i.e. oh it's just a suckifornia thing, like buying organic celery) and i'm not pleased with it. ironically, it takes self examination to realize that you're self-absorbed, a thought that makes me shudder in itself. ack! vicious cycle!
what i am hoping to rediscover with this move:
people don't completely suck all the time
there is a world beyond my own complaining
it's okay to get out of the house
learning new things is not awful
being scared can motivate you if you let it
wallowing takes lots of energy
i suck sometimes, but that's okay
sunlight is good for you
ugh, realization is gooey. all this schmaltz is making me want to barf. i'd better go back to getting something done around the house so we can load up and i can get wacky with the wood oil soap. and the bubble wrap... oh, that bubble wrap!
i'm starting to get some odd butterflies in my tummy this week. they're still milder than the ones that appeared before the move out here, but just hovering there to remind me that a big day is approaching quickly.
there is one other thing that's making me twitchy today. this morning when i woke up, it occurred to me how self-absorbed i've been over the past few months. whine whine whine, me me me, blah blah blah. such an irritatingly icky quality has been heartily cultivated by our new social environment (i.e. oh it's just a suckifornia thing, like buying organic celery) and i'm not pleased with it. ironically, it takes self examination to realize that you're self-absorbed, a thought that makes me shudder in itself. ack! vicious cycle!
what i am hoping to rediscover with this move:
people don't completely suck all the time
there is a world beyond my own complaining
it's okay to get out of the house
learning new things is not awful
being scared can motivate you if you let it
wallowing takes lots of energy
i suck sometimes, but that's okay
sunlight is good for you
ugh, realization is gooey. all this schmaltz is making me want to barf. i'd better go back to getting something done around the house so we can load up and i can get wacky with the wood oil soap. and the bubble wrap... oh, that bubble wrap!
25 September 2006
roller fucking coasters!
we went to magic mountain today and i almost threw up - WHEEEEE! note to all: almost throwing up constitutes having to take a sitdown and have lemonade break to avoid it, but ultimately not actually throwing up. it was more the action of having one woozy eye and one squinty eye while stumbling around like a crazy vodka monkey. then there would be a moment of recovery before we moved on, during which i hopped around like a crazy vodka monkey on crack. no wonder i don't drink often and never do crack. who needs it when you're getting all those g-forces? in short, we're pooped from the day of thrills and feel beaten all to hell. yes, it was fucking great.
after some initial jitters, i was instructed to just get on one of those bad boys, go up that big stinking hill, then let go so i could scream like a sissy and until i could get it all out. of course the first one we got on was HUGE with a drop that was steeper than falling after tripping on the sidewalk. ready, steady, now everybody... SCRREEEEEEEAAAAAAAMMMM!!! we saw photos of ourselves on the first drop as we exited the ride. guess what guess what guess what? I LET GO!
thank you. i needed that. all this junkety ass stress about moving (oh, yeah, we got the lease!) and watching over the cats and blah bitty blah senseless worrying can get a person just a wee bit wound up and twitchy. oooh ooh, and another thing cool happened at the park! derek wanted to ride the carousel with with at the end of the night so we could hold hands and be cute and happy. dare i say romantic? shut up, stop barfing; go with it people. it was quite a day.
who cares if it was hot and we paid five bucks for a lemonade? who cares if i smell like an amusement park and my hair got so tangled that my head hurt when i brushed it? who even gives a crap if there was the only very occasional annoying kid? (bonus note: only go to amusement parks in the off season. there are no lines!) the experience was peppy and cheap compared to years of therapy and/or crazy drug habits or other insert problem here type of things. peppy and cheap is good - so sayeth the word of me me me. we cuddled and laughed and even got to ride the tram back to the car when we left. THE TRAM, i tell you! derek bought me a cheeseburger on the way home. we are gleefully worn out. we are refreshed with excitement. we are dizzy and even sort of serene in our exhaustion. it would be safe to say that i think everyone should ride a rollercoaster sooner or later.
just remember to let go:
everybody... SCRRREEEEEEAAAAAAMMMMMMM!!!!!
after some initial jitters, i was instructed to just get on one of those bad boys, go up that big stinking hill, then let go so i could scream like a sissy and until i could get it all out. of course the first one we got on was HUGE with a drop that was steeper than falling after tripping on the sidewalk. ready, steady, now everybody... SCRREEEEEEEAAAAAAAMMMM!!! we saw photos of ourselves on the first drop as we exited the ride. guess what guess what guess what? I LET GO!
thank you. i needed that. all this junkety ass stress about moving (oh, yeah, we got the lease!) and watching over the cats and blah bitty blah senseless worrying can get a person just a wee bit wound up and twitchy. oooh ooh, and another thing cool happened at the park! derek wanted to ride the carousel with with at the end of the night so we could hold hands and be cute and happy. dare i say romantic? shut up, stop barfing; go with it people. it was quite a day.
who cares if it was hot and we paid five bucks for a lemonade? who cares if i smell like an amusement park and my hair got so tangled that my head hurt when i brushed it? who even gives a crap if there was the only very occasional annoying kid? (bonus note: only go to amusement parks in the off season. there are no lines!) the experience was peppy and cheap compared to years of therapy and/or crazy drug habits or other insert problem here type of things. peppy and cheap is good - so sayeth the word of me me me. we cuddled and laughed and even got to ride the tram back to the car when we left. THE TRAM, i tell you! derek bought me a cheeseburger on the way home. we are gleefully worn out. we are refreshed with excitement. we are dizzy and even sort of serene in our exhaustion. it would be safe to say that i think everyone should ride a rollercoaster sooner or later.
just remember to let go:
everybody... SCRRREEEEEEAAAAAAMMMMMMM!!!!!
23 September 2006
last weekend in los crapeles
we've done a few things this week to give ourselves a big sendoff from this place, including:
playing a good game of "rich or homeless?" in beverly hills (you'd be amazed, really)
eating at roscoe's chicken & waffles
pre-shopping for the new house at ikea
cafe bonjour kosher sushi deli
buying corn on the street
taking the 405 south - on purpose
passing the hollywood bowl
things still on the list:
dinner with tara in sanny montica
a trip to the beach
magic mountain and rollercoasters
one of our neighbors got me a chick-o-stick as a parting gift. he had to go out the way out to venice beach to find them. maegan is at work on another movie, but has some spare time to goof off a little before we go. we've sent in our address change cards and gotten the new lease for seattle. only a few days until we get the truck and start loading up. i won't miss the smell of fire all around, that's for sure.
we'll be taking it easier on this trip than the last one. we're planning to meet up with our friend candace in oregon along the way and staying the night in eugene. i'm freaking out a little here and there, but it's easy to calm myself down with projects like shredding paper or cleaning the house. the packing hasn't been a trauma at all! i guess it's a good thing that we never really settled into this apartment and we still had some things packed away in the closet. that should save me from facing total chaos on moving day. can't wait for those cats and fish to get to our new place. meow meow meow glub glub.
playing a good game of "rich or homeless?" in beverly hills (you'd be amazed, really)
eating at roscoe's chicken & waffles
pre-shopping for the new house at ikea
cafe bonjour kosher sushi deli
buying corn on the street
taking the 405 south - on purpose
passing the hollywood bowl
things still on the list:
dinner with tara in sanny montica
a trip to the beach
magic mountain and rollercoasters
one of our neighbors got me a chick-o-stick as a parting gift. he had to go out the way out to venice beach to find them. maegan is at work on another movie, but has some spare time to goof off a little before we go. we've sent in our address change cards and gotten the new lease for seattle. only a few days until we get the truck and start loading up. i won't miss the smell of fire all around, that's for sure.
we'll be taking it easier on this trip than the last one. we're planning to meet up with our friend candace in oregon along the way and staying the night in eugene. i'm freaking out a little here and there, but it's easy to calm myself down with projects like shredding paper or cleaning the house. the packing hasn't been a trauma at all! i guess it's a good thing that we never really settled into this apartment and we still had some things packed away in the closet. that should save me from facing total chaos on moving day. can't wait for those cats and fish to get to our new place. meow meow meow glub glub.
20 September 2006
i quit! again!
today is my last day at work here. it was a record-holding job for me, but it's time to get packing, in more ways than one. so fuck them. i'm wearing my shirt and the touchy suckifornia bastards can all just deal with it. what are they gonna do... fire me??!?! hehehhe, i'm such a pisser.
avast ye mateys - ahoy
yes yes yes i did celebrate talk like a pirate day, of course. i wore my pirate tank top and everything. the best part was running into other people who knew about it, including those wearing jolly roger and assorted other gear. eee! i mean, arrrrrr...
one more day at work until i take off to get crackin-at-a-packin for the move. i've done some good prep work and started the "protopacking" already. this shouldn't take anywhere near as long as i had expected. now i'm just hopeful that we'll be faxed a lease before my deadline for a nervous breakdown arrives. eep - i'm wigging out a little here. oh please oh please oh please let me maintain a placid front for at least one more day before going kooky.
time for another nip off the chick-o-stick and a smoke before i pretend to clean the apartment. i'll really just be pining for some new project runway. you all knew this already, but i must tell you that I HEART KAAAYYYNNNE! oh, and i'll check the scifi channel for eureka. nick just has to watch this show. it makes me think of him when i see it and i smile. eee!
shiver me timbers, mateys.
one more day at work until i take off to get crackin-at-a-packin for the move. i've done some good prep work and started the "protopacking" already. this shouldn't take anywhere near as long as i had expected. now i'm just hopeful that we'll be faxed a lease before my deadline for a nervous breakdown arrives. eep - i'm wigging out a little here. oh please oh please oh please let me maintain a placid front for at least one more day before going kooky.
time for another nip off the chick-o-stick and a smoke before i pretend to clean the apartment. i'll really just be pining for some new project runway. you all knew this already, but i must tell you that I HEART KAAAYYYNNNE! oh, and i'll check the scifi channel for eureka. nick just has to watch this show. it makes me think of him when i see it and i smile. eee!
shiver me timbers, mateys.
16 September 2006
who the hell is this person?
so in the hubbub of the past week, i've totally been gathering all these thoughts to publish about the new move. also in the hubbub, i can't remember a damn one of them. short version? we're moving and i'm excited/barfy/freaky today. insert emotion here, i've been going through it! i mean this in the best possible way, even though it took some "you're being a crazy person" therapy to get centered. or off-centered. or off-kilter and spazzy. whichever it is.
we had dinner with bonnie and kelly! it took about 30 seconds after meeting them in person to calm down and not think they would hate me. we chatted an laughed all through dinner in a manner that could only be known as incessant, and then just kept on yammering the whole way down the street. how fun is that? it was a welcome relief after an entire day of go go go find a place to live and get your shit together marathon running. whew.
during my trip, it has occurred to me that some parts of me have remained untouched in suckifornia, like wondering what those people in the hills do in the wintertime. on the flip side, i've acquired a few odd habits that i can't wait to shed when we leave there. things like:
1. buying organic celery
2. using the super duper oil of olay all over and going through it in record time. holly might approve of this on the no-frownies front, but it's really because i'm all ashy from the skank and so i need face cream on my elbows.
3. being extremely indecisive.
4. using - no, NEEDING - my paper shredding time to keep from flipping out. road rage and people rage and work rage all add up to a fucking lot of rage. if you're an angry person, get yourself a massive shredder.
5. having entire days where i don't leave the house. not because i'm loafing, but because i can't think of a good reason to go anywhere and deal with people.
6. asking what kind of water they serve when dining out.
there are other things, too, but you get the idea. it's the little ways that make me feel the most disturbed; good thing i still ponder about hills in winter and give people an honest opinion when they ask for it. (oh yeah, you can just imagine how popular that forthright thing makes me.) sometimes it's difficult to tell if you've changed because time has passed or because you're stuck in a living purgatory, but i think i'll come out of this as my more familiar self. maybe i'll be just a bit more jaded and drive aggresively, but i'll still smile at strangers on the street.
shit, it's just great not to feel like crap when i wake up in the morning. then there's that whole jacket weather thing. i think i'm gonna like it here.
we had dinner with bonnie and kelly! it took about 30 seconds after meeting them in person to calm down and not think they would hate me. we chatted an laughed all through dinner in a manner that could only be known as incessant, and then just kept on yammering the whole way down the street. how fun is that? it was a welcome relief after an entire day of go go go find a place to live and get your shit together marathon running. whew.
during my trip, it has occurred to me that some parts of me have remained untouched in suckifornia, like wondering what those people in the hills do in the wintertime. on the flip side, i've acquired a few odd habits that i can't wait to shed when we leave there. things like:
1. buying organic celery
2. using the super duper oil of olay all over and going through it in record time. holly might approve of this on the no-frownies front, but it's really because i'm all ashy from the skank and so i need face cream on my elbows.
3. being extremely indecisive.
4. using - no, NEEDING - my paper shredding time to keep from flipping out. road rage and people rage and work rage all add up to a fucking lot of rage. if you're an angry person, get yourself a massive shredder.
5. having entire days where i don't leave the house. not because i'm loafing, but because i can't think of a good reason to go anywhere and deal with people.
6. asking what kind of water they serve when dining out.
there are other things, too, but you get the idea. it's the little ways that make me feel the most disturbed; good thing i still ponder about hills in winter and give people an honest opinion when they ask for it. (oh yeah, you can just imagine how popular that forthright thing makes me.) sometimes it's difficult to tell if you've changed because time has passed or because you're stuck in a living purgatory, but i think i'll come out of this as my more familiar self. maybe i'll be just a bit more jaded and drive aggresively, but i'll still smile at strangers on the street.
shit, it's just great not to feel like crap when i wake up in the morning. then there's that whole jacket weather thing. i think i'm gonna like it here.
05 September 2006
we're moving
yes, that's right! in lieu of the previously scheduled full-on nervous breakdown leading to a possible stint in the kooky pokey, we have decided to leave this shithole and head for greener pastures. for lower cost of living. for weather that doesn't include the number 100 on the thermometer. for the better.
it was fun to visit, but i wouldn't want to live here.
it was fun to visit, but i wouldn't want to live here.
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