hooray for pizza day!

today i am going to pig out. last month i sweat so much in the heat here.. and playing with the kids all day... and rehearsing in the back of a warehouse, that i had to go buy new pants. i tried eating extra cookies. i tried just being bloaty. i still lost a pant size. good thing i found jeans on sale, because i HATE going in fitting rooms. all that florescent lighting is kind of creepy.

i think they're wearing me down. (the kids, not the jeans.) i accidentally slept ten hours last night and woke up fully clothed except for one missing sock. yesterday was audition day for their show. the kids and i joke that today "the crying can begin!" and they can drown their sorrows in pizza. my reputation for making little kids cry makes me laugh. they totally don't even take it seriously anymore. how did i become such a pushover?


what i'm wondering today:
does it count for plaid to be your favorite color?

all in a day's future plans

holy crap, i just read about fritschie getting stabbed! with a screwdriver! by weenies who barely even broke the skin, thank goodness. i shouldn't have laughed, but he really is a good storyteller and i couldn't help it. i know for sure that i am totally not driving past the steak and shake anytime soon. who knew criminals hang out near the ice cream?

in any case, i'm glad he's okay and hope they find the little fuckers who took his phone.

my life is not nearly as exciting as all that. i did see a guy on the biggest unicycle in the world plowing down riverside yesterday, but that's as cool as it gets. summer is mostly filled with camp activities for me. oh sure, the kids can get pretty rambunctious in the heat, but there's no assault with a deadly weapon going on just yet. teaching theatre to little people is a pretty mellow gig to have on the whole. i'll miss this when i have to go looking for a new job.

so next i have to get enrolled in school again. i've decided to go ahead and finish. maybe someday i can be a teacher full time. in the meantime, i'll have to slug through a couple more semesters of bullshit and get it over with. su-hhuuu-hhuuuckage to the max. who ever heard of a teacher who hates going to school? hmmm, the irony is terrific here.

i overcame one of my greatest fears in life recently. i actually went to audition for a musical! no word ever came back, but fuck it. who cares, right? i finally did it. i guess they didn't have enough people come the first time and have scheduled some more auditions, but i've taken a directing job instead. it scares the crap outta me, which is just the sort of challenge i like as of late. out of nowhere, i find myself singing a little song in the car that i made up to summarize what's going on with me these days...

being so uncomfortable
well it's just wonderful
and maybe safety
isn't what i'm going for lately
i wanna be nervous
with every word that you say to me

kinda goofy, but it makes me happy to sing it in traffic. change is always good for me. i find that there is something seductive about unpredictability in life. it keeps me on my toes and always striving to do better. believe me, i know to handle a rut with finesse. totally a creature of habit here, so i need need a shock to the system just to keep things interesting.

the new play i will be directing is just another example of that. it's serious subject matter, for one. it's very specific casting, for two. it's been compared to "the laramie project" many times, for three. ack! i need my big ego and my eddie izzard advice to really kick in on this project. no problem... mary pumped me back up on the phone this morning and now i think i can do it. or rather, as i like to say when it comes to things that eventually drive me bonkers, "how hard can it be, right?" that's the phrase that normally invokes giggles out of derek.

something tells me that i have enough routine and comfort in my life now. i am incomplete without a touch of freaking out going on from day to day. wheeeee!!!


new albums i've gotten lately:
depeche mode
regina spektor
dirty projectors